Share your tips for boosting confidence in small children for a chance to win a SIGNED copy of THE LION INSIDE plus a £100 JOHN LEWIS VOUCHER!

[SorchaMumsnet]

From the creator of the known and loved Bright Side lifestyle brand, Rachel Bright, and illustrator of Oi Frog!, Jim Field, comes a feel good rhyming story about one little mouse trying to make himself heard and discovering along the way that even the smallest of us can have the heart of a lion.

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Share your tips for boosting confidence in small children for a chance to win a signed copy of The Lion Inside plus a £100 John Lewis voucher!

This discussion is sponsored by Hachette and will close on 4 April when the winner will be posted on the thread.

Definitely praising their little victories and their efforts! Commenting on the kind things they do, letting them know you don't just love them but you like them and enjoy spending time with them.

Focusing on effort rather than results, or as we say - you DON'T have to BE the best, you DO have to TRY your best

My DD and DS are 10 & 8 now.

Forever and for always we have made sure that we end EVERY day on a positive note. Regardless of whatever has , or hasn't happened , we each say in turn before they go to sleep what has made us happy today.

It provides great opportunity to give positive reinforcement and let's them know that they are loved unconditionally.

I think young children gain confidence from you listening to them and validating their voice and opinions. Talking about feelings and fears gives children more inderstanding of their own feelings and how to take on their fears.

Being a caring and consistant support for a young child in both everyday practical ways, emotionally and through fun play and attention will build their self worth and so their confidence in themselves will shine through.

Mine have gained confidence from expecting more of them. Getting them to try new things and taking them out of their comfort zone whilst also being very reliable in our love and snuggles. Getting them to try new things and not really caring if they are any 'good' st things.

I agreein terms of praise, enthusiasm and listening. Celebrate the small and the big.

I think praise and encouragement is very important. As well as correcting them when required. Giving them time and attention is also important.

Finding a positive side to all things. "You shouldn't have tried to pour yourself the water by yourself, but you've done a really good job of tidying, shall we finish together?"

Finding some activities that they get praise from, possibly from other people. Things like swimming lessons, where you can tell them how much they've progressed, but they're hearing it from someone else as well. It also gives them the opportunity to see their own development.

Encouraging them to praise themselves! There's still a big stigma against saying "I'm good at that", as was discussed on a thread in AIBU recently. But teaching a child to recognize their abilities is a healthy thing, and leads on to healthy confidence levels as an adult. It's not arrogant to praise yourself.

Plenty of hugs.

Setting the bar reasonably high. Not in a pushy parent way, but in a "I know you're capable of more" way, especially when deep down they know it themselves. Then when the reach that, it shows them they could. Equally if they don't, still praising them for what they achieved. Not necessarily with big things, but with longer complicated words as they're learning to read and things, reminding them they can work it out.

Encourage your children to have a go at anything that piques their interest. Having the confidence to try something new is such a valuable skill for life.

Lead by example. Don't wallow in defeat, be proud of success.

Unconditional love is the first requirement - the child must feel safe, loved and secure. Secondly it's important to praise effort rather than result otherwise a fear of failure (and hence no praise/positive input from the parent) could set in. This is particularly important with a child who sets themselves impossibly high standards!

Agree lots of praise, also trying to work out what's important to them and pay attention to it.

Echo all the positive messages. But for me you need to find the the thing they love.
Whether it's tap dancing, chess, model making, sport & encourage it. It will encourage them to engage with their peers. Because they love it they will train & practice, & see that it pays off. This will build their confidence.
It had with my DC's. Especially my DD who excels in football who is demand for both the girls & boys school team.

I agree that unconditional love, praising effort as well as achievements and a general positive attitude can help.

I think letting them know that it's OK to fail, you just keep on trying even though it can be tough.

I agree with what's been said before about praise and love. I also think the praise has to be genuine and specific, so no saying they played really well if they didn't, but pointing out specific things that they did do well.

Don't make the mistake I made. I always answered for DD. When she was asked how old she was, I'd chip in "oh, she's x, aren't you DD?". Or I'd order for her well beyond the point she was capable of making a selection from a menu and telling the wait staff her choice.

DD's fantastic reception teacher pointed out to me that I wasn't allowing DD's voice to grow. I've changed that now and it took a while for us both to adjust - she was so used to me speaking for her that she was too shy/nervous to do it herself. But we practice and encourage.

But apart from that, she knows that she can rely on me no matter what.

Travel, let them try new things and meet new people. Let them check in at hotels, get the bill and order their own food. I reckon my 3 year old could check in navigate through security and sit himself on the plane and do his seatbelt up. He's so full of confidence after a big adventure knowing he's "done it"

I like to take loads of photos of mine and put them on display around the house to remind them of things they've done and achieved. It's a lovely chance for visitors to ask about their activities and interests as well.

echoing all the comments here. just to add (with a ds aged 6 who is having a tough time at that monent) reminders that as well as loving him unconditionally I am on his side and will make sure he is heard (teachers, friends and family).

also think it's important that he learns to laugh at himself (leading by example). that not everything is critically important or so serious. it's ok to say I'm not enjoying this - fine, we'll again another day.

not everything is a competition. this bit is hard for lots of children it is and you can't monitor it when at school.

I think teaching them that even if things are tricky -practise makes perfect- builds confidence.
We can't all be great at everything but with regular practice and small steps towards a goal it's amazing what you can achieve.
I think trusting those who teach them and feeling respected is vital- the unconditional positive regard.

Be interested in them. They are delighted with things that you might not find important at first, until you listen to what they have to say. They love it when you care about what they care about.

My DDs know I love them, but I also tell them that I like them. I tell them what's so great about them.

I find that sett your kids up with an individual task to accomplish, then praise, recognition and even reward when they complete it. Positive reinforcement I suppose you could call it. If your child's sporty, like my eldest, then let them try out some local clubs as they can win medals, trophies and be part of a team. If your kids are fully of energy and always showing off (like my drama queen youngest child!), then let them try out a local theatre school or amateur musical company. If your child is shy and not into anything outdoors or sporty (like my eldest daughter), encourage them in whatever they do enjoy doing. In my case it's arts and crafts. We make things together and my daughter has had her artwork recognised at school, being sent on gifted and talented days and online on things like PopJam, where she has won a daily challenge and been extremely proud of that!

Praise and encouragement, talking to them to let them know they can talk to you anytime and positive reinforcement with lots of love is the best way to boost any child (or adults!) confidence and self esteem. Celebrate their individuality and use any opportunity for praise, such as when they take the iniatibe to do something, or are kind to others. A big hug and a few words of praise can be all that's needed. :)

Praise and appreciation. Letting them know that you understand what they are feeling and think and giving them undivided attention without phones and other distractions. I also try to keep really calm and upbeat when a child is trying to learn a new skill and let them see me trying to do something new and show through example that most things take practice and we all struggle at some things and that I find competing with myself rather than others to be helpful.

We use sticker charts, once they reach ten stars they get rewarded with a special treat.

Plenty of attention and praise.