Share tips on how to raise a kind child to win £50 of John Lewis vouchers and copies of Wonder by RJ Palacio

[RachelMumsnet]

When RJ Palacio's Wonder first hit bookshelves in 2013, it was featured as Mumsnet children's book of the month and became an instant classic.

So what is it that makes this title so special? As one Mumsnetter aptly put it: "This is a beautiful book - funny and heartwarming with a lesson we all need to remember: be kind". The story teaches children about friendship, kindness, bullying and being different, an issue that becomes increasingly important as children hit secondary school and follow their friends' example, rather than their parents'.

We're asking you to share your tips on how parents can instill values of kindness in their children. Post up your tips before 12th June, which is antibullyingpro.com Kindness Day 2015, and you'll be entered into a draw to win £50 vouchers for John Lewis. 5 runners-up will also receive copies of Wonder, plus a copy of 365 days of Wonder, a book of collected words of wisdom.

RJ Palacio has also written three short stories from different characters whose voices we didn't hear in Wonder - Julian, Auggie's school bully; Christopher, Auggie's oldest friend; and Charlotte, who sees Auggie's story unfold as a bystander. Head to Amazon or iBooks to check them out.

to find out more about Wonder.

This competition is now closed. Winners will be contacted shortly.

Best thing I've found is to set examples for them and help them understand it. E.g. helping out others when they need a hand and explaining why you've done that. I think children are mostly kind anyway, but often things don't occur to them so it's good to have things pointed out.

I think it is important to lead by example such as always saying please and thank you, especially in places like public transport, shops and cafes. I also think that having small pets and involving children in their care can be important in developing their sense of kindness and care.

The way I teach kindness or rather show kindness is I have my daughter(who is 5 and a half) how to 'care' - people often forget the value of this. I teach her to care for her family, her pet cat, her friends but also the doors at home, her drawing paper and pens, her clothes and shoes, plants and animals, her personal space and other people's etc.. When you show children to 'care' for things and people other than themselves, this along with good manners and good behaviour helps them to be considerate.

I taught my son to help out by giving up a little time. We always used to help the volunteers at toddlers group to pack up and sweep the floor as a thank you for holding a great service for mums. Now we stop at fencing club and help them to pack away so that the coach doesn't end up doing it all. He knows that a few moments of his time cost nothing and sharing the workload makes people happy.

Lead by example. Talk about how she feels when others are kind or unkind and how she would like to make others feel by her behaviour.

Praise them. Generally and specifically for being kind. Tell them when you notice them playing nicely.
Don't gossip. Not just because it's modelling unkind behaviour, but because you'll make them think the world is an unkind and judgemental place.

Always encourage your child to see the other side of a story or event and of course sharing is rewarded.

As with most parenting issues it's most important to be a good role model and behave the way you'd like your children to behave. You are their biggest inspiration and the old saying is true - kids do as you do not as you say. Be kind and your children will be.

I agree with everyone who has said to lead by example. My mother was the kindest person I've ever known and her Grandchildren are the same.

When you see other kids being mean/sad either in real life or books etc talk about. E.g 'Why do you think Alfie was sad? What could we do to make him feel happy?'

You teach kindness by modelling that behaviour, not only to your children and other family, but also to all the other people who cross your path throughout. But I think it's also worth being aware of their friends and their behaviour, as children often pick up much of their behaviour from their peers. And be open to the possibility that your children might not be the little angels you believe they are -- it's easy for them to get sucked into cruel behaviour if it's what their friends are doing.

Agree with leading by example, but also

• noticing and praising them when they do something kind or making them aware of when someone has been kind to them, and sharing examples of when people have been kind to me.

• I tell my own dc that being kind is the best thing that they can be. I also try to make them aware of how others might be feeling eg new child in class.

I think by talking about being kind, giving examples and reading books (we have one calles 'When I'm feeling Kind) you can help kids learn. My daughter's school are very good at teaching them to be kind to each other and when she won a ceritificate for being a kind friend I was very proud of her.
I try and reward my kids when I see them being kind to each other.

Encourage them to spend time with and appreciate children who are different from themselves. The SENCO at my dd's school when she was in reception told me that having dd (severely autistic) in the class had helped the other children in the class make such a lot of progress socially and emotionally because they had to learn about valuing people who were different. Two of the little girls in this class are now incredibly mature and kind. They help my dd out in so many ways.

Never eat a cake, packet of crisps, sweet without sharing.. if you share with them they will share with you

When encountering other children - hide the most important toy of the moment - share the rest - if someone has something you want ask but accept you may have to wait - unless they are small then fain interest in something you don't want.. and they may swap.

hug.. cuddle and talk things through

Children don't always believe what you tell them - but if they overhear you telling someone else - they believe it more.. so - I often share the kind things my kids do with granny on the phone.. where the kids can hear.

I'm sure they believe they are kind - and that what goes around comes around- and therefore try :)

Praising good behaviour
Being a good role model
Encourage them to share, take turns, be nice etc.

I think a lot has to do with temperament / personality too - not sure I can take all the credit for DC's being kind & thoughtful, they seem to have that caring side in them.
I just try to lead by example, be positive and discourage 'bad' behaviour.

I think kpdchudleigh should win. Her post made me bellow and I'm still chuckling now just picturing the scene!! Brilliant.

Always treat the child with kindness, they learn by example

As others have said I think that the main thing is to lead by example and to praise good behaviour

Role modelling is a great way of showing children how to be kind. If they see you do it, they are more likely to themselves.

Also use opportunities to explain to children what can lie beyond what we see. Help them to see things from the others persons point of view. I always remember the quote from 'to kill a mockingbird' about wearing another mans shoes and walking around in them.

For example, my son was having real issues with a horrible teacher at school in the past and rather than create a battle / defensive type situation I helped him see what his teacher was going through and why she was responding like that. It totally transformed their relationship and she went from being most hated teacher to one of his favourites because he was able to be kind to her and understanding of the situation.

I've also been really impressed with the care he's shown for a school friend who has been unwell - without any prompting from me so i think children have a naturally huge capacity to be kind and caring anyway and i suppose our role is to nuture that so they don't lose it as they grow up. I often think grown ups could learn a thing or two about kindness from children in fact!

ds has asd so it is an uphill battle. when he is unkind to his sister he is asked whether it is kind and how she may feel, how would he feel if he was not allowed to do whatever he is stopping her doing etc. he finds being talked to and questioned and expected to answer quite difficult and hates it worse than just a telling off.

he used to have to be held while she had her turn on the tv or he would put it off and stand inthe way.

he also has the deterrant that his computer time relies on beiong kind to his sister.

when other children are kind to dd in difficult circumstances, I often tell their parent. best to encourage kind things.

Like others have said, I try to show kindness by being kind to my children. If ever I hear anything unkind from my daughters, I realise that it is me she is imitating so try to learn from this and show her if I can correct my behaviour, then so can she.

I always make a big deal of overemphasising being polite, saying please and thank you, and making sure I always offer my boys some of my food. I think children learn by example so I make sure my examples to them are really obvious.