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Share your supermarket stories with Squishy McFluff

59 replies

NataliaMumsnet · 11/08/2014 09:27

Told in comical rhyming verse, Squishy McFluff: Supermarket Sweep is a hilarious tale where Ava and her very naughty, invisible cat take a trip to the local supermarket - but will Squishy be on his best behaviour?

We're giving you the chance to win £200 of Waitrose vouchers courtesy of Faber Children’s books. Inspired by Squishy's supermarket escapades, we want to know your supermarket stories.

Tell us those hilariously embarrassing tales that made you blush - maybe your DC knocked down a shelf of food or made an inappropriate remark about the supermarket attendant looking like an alien? Blush

We're looking forward to hearing your stories. Two runners-up will also win £50 each of Waitrose vouchers and all winners will receive copies of the Squishy McFluff books. We’ve also got 50 copies of Squishy McFluff: The Invisible Cat up for grabs, apply now.

MN Book Club

Share your supermarket stories with Squishy McFluff
OP posts:
idleweiss · 13/08/2014 16:21

Haha! It was actually Waitrose it happened in, if I win I may have to do my shopping online! Lol! :D

angelmiss · 13/08/2014 21:02

My 2 nearly 3 year old son likes to shout "I want my mummy!" at the top of his voice at regular intervals when we're out in public. I'm surprised that I haven't been arrested for child abduction yet!

angelmiss · 13/08/2014 21:03

My 2 nearly 3 year old son likes to shout "I want my mummy!" at the top of his voice at regular intervals when we're out in public. I'm surprised that I haven't been arrested for child abduction yet!

sharond101 · 13/08/2014 21:51

My DS asked on Saturday whilst in Morrison's fruit and veg department, "Do bananas do stinky poohs too Mummy?"

Best was my Nephew who said "I don't know why Mum buys they Always towels. Noone else needs their own miniature towel to dry their bottom after going to the loo!"

rydley · 14/08/2014 00:17

I went shopping with my boy aged 9 and I had said in the car that I only wanted to spend £70 today try not to go over. at the checkout I spent £78 and I paid but my boy really embarrassed me by saying "mum you have gone over, we cannot afford it please put some shopping back" and he was really concerned and distressed, everyone was looking I had to drag him to the car park while I explained to him him to that I would manage.

billybear · 14/08/2014 18:46

we were in local Tesco , when an old lady stood near us , she had a lot of facial hair almost a beard, my dc shouted does that man not have a shaver , I wanted the ground to open up , I dragged past quickly , blushing

purplemeggie · 14/08/2014 21:06

When ds was about 3, we went out for lunch. When we were paying our bill, the waiter gave him a big bright-coloured lolly.

After the meal, we popped into a DIY superstore and, high on sugar and food-colouring, ds was uncontrollable. He escaped and climbed onto the first shelf in one of the aisles, crawling behind the things stacked on it. A couple of minutes later, he knocked a 10 litre pot of floor paint off the shelf and when it hit the floor, the lid came off and it spilled everywhere. My heart sank, as it had a £50 price label and I could see no alternative but to offer to pay for it. A member of staff arrived and said "that doesn't look right" and picked up the lid to see what it said, and it had a "Use before" date a decade ago.

We picked up our very dusty child and left promptly...

Tyranasaurus · 15/08/2014 07:32

I was pushing my 9 month old breastfed baby round in a trolley when suddenly she lunges at me and tries to latch on through my T shirt

Nerf · 15/08/2014 07:42

So, with ds aged about six. Back from a weekend away and I stop at the supermarket to get milk and bread, decide to choose a cake each from the bakery for him and his siblings.
Ds is so rude and silly I do the good mother thing and decide he can no longer have a cake.
Well. Suffice to say it ended when security and the manager and i managed to track him down after several minutes running and hiding to the chilled aisle. It felt like the entire shop was on alert for this terrible child racing around and evading me in a massive temper tantrum.
I had the manager push the trolley to the car, me carrying him and in the end some lovely elderly lady had to keep the car door shut while I got in and put the child lock on. Blush

jj21 · 15/08/2014 22:56

Heavily pregnant with DC3, I was pushing the trolley with my other 2 children in the child seats (just 3 and 18 months respectively). First one, then the other started crying. This quickly escalated into a full blown paddy from each child. As things started getting out of hand (I was too fat to be able to just walk out and carry both children to the car, and it was a couple of days before Christmas, so I really needed the shopping) I began singing 'The Wheels On the Bus' in a last ditch attempt to calm things down. An older man then approached and I braced myself for the lecture on poorly behaved children. Instead, he suggested that I should copy the parent on the TV ad popular at the time, and lay on the floor, kick and scream and have a paddy myself to shock the kids into better behaviour. This was fine, until he said, "Well go on then, what are you waiting for!" and tried to insist I did as he said, even taking my arm to 'help' me! Fortunately, I was rescued by a passing shop worker, who realised I needed a bit of help. I was very grateful, especially as I was having some very vigorous Braxton Hicks. A couple of days later we had an early new arrival, but it was a long time before I ventured back into that particular supermarket again.

mikeysmum27 · 16/08/2014 20:01

During recent shopping trips to Sainsburys, Tesco, M&S and a park picnic DS (aged 2) and I keep encountering the same man. This guy is huge with long brown dreads and a beard and is always dressed in brown. Every time DS sees him he points at him and shouts 'bear, bear, bear'! So far the guy has seen the funny side of it...We live in a small town so I expect more bear spotting in the future

teddygirlonce · 17/08/2014 11:02

DD had a subscription to a comic courtesy of Daddy when she was about two. Anyway we ended up with endless unread ones (they arrived on a weekly basis so it was difficult to keep up given that many contained toddler-friendly activities that kept her amused for days on end!). So I got into the habit of putting one in the bottom of the buggy to keep her amused when we were out and about.

One day, having completed my supermarket shopping in a basket (and no I've never been one of those people who loads all their items into the buggy before paying for them) and gone thro' checkout, one of the supervisors said "you've forgotten to pay for something". Couldn't work out what she was talking about until she pointed to the shopping part of the buggy and the lurking comic. I was very flouncy, wafted it in her face to show her it was about three months out of date and stormed off in more than a huff than was necessary. I guess she was only doing her job but it was very irksome at the time....

Still shop in the same supermarket, the supervisor concerned is still there (and very nice actually) and I can laugh about it now....but still it annoys me....

FannyPriceless · 17/08/2014 21:25

I'm sorry everyone, but you can all go home now. I have arrived to share my story of shame, and it is the worst possible shame.

I'm the one whose toddler ate all the grapes before we reached the checkout, and I was charged £0.06 for ... oh what was it, oh yes, an empty grape stalk. Blush

But that wasn't the really bad part of my shame, was it? Oh, no, I was silly enough to tell Mumsnet about my bad day at the supermarket. I got ROASTED. I was told off for (a) letting my toddler eat so many grapes, (b) stealing, (c) feeding unwashed grapes, (d) not cutting the grapes in half, etc etc.

The thread is still there. And the Thread about a Thread that the 'supermarket worker' started in order to mock me even further.

Oh, how I laugh about it now...!

Grin Hmm

nerysw · 18/08/2014 07:39

My son is 3 and we go shopping together while his sister is at school which is quite a lot of fun. He doesn't go anywhere without a 'shooting gun' and 'pirate sword' so he stands in the trolley, in command of the whole operation. He shouts at imaginary sharks, sea monsters and aliens and occassionally threatens passers by (generally taken in good humour) and it makes it far more enjoyable than shopping by myself.

milliemoon · 18/08/2014 14:26

My dear son pulled my top down in front of a young cashier who very respectfully pretended he hadn't noticed. However his red cheeks suggested otherwise. Cringe!

prakattack · 18/08/2014 15:09

Plenty of embarrassing questions (most memorably in Tesco toilets - why are your bits all hairy Mummy? VERY loudly!) but the most embarrassing moment was shortly after potty training when he was stood in the trolley and weed all over all my shopping and across the floor of the dairy aisle... I wanted the ground to swallow me up there and then. It was huge, and the puddle just kept spreading... :(

Zootgator · 18/08/2014 17:56

This is one from a friend of mine. Passing through Hereford Tesco with a friend's 2 small boys, they went past the sanitary products. At this point the youngest asked her how Tampax worked. She huffed to a stop because she was fairly sure that she had explained this one before but plainly he hadn't been able to believe his ears. Being someone who feels that simple unembarrased explaination is the best way forward, she began to run things in simple terms but fairly graphic terms. Being an actress, she did this in clear and ringing tones. When she looked up from checking that she had explained things to their satisfaction, she realised she had gathered a circle of men who had drawn close while trying to pretend that they were looking at other items. Plainly they had all been wondering the same thing (or indeed, hadn't been able to believe their ears)!

MimsyBorogroves · 19/08/2014 16:31

DS1 (6), having been allowed by his grandfather to push the trolley around Sainsbury's once, had decided that it was his job for evermore. I'm slightly more, a stickler for the rules, so we were having a bit of a debate. At the end, in frustration, I said fine, but that anything he bumped/broke/etc, he paid for out of his own pocket money. Naturally he pulled out without looking and nearly took out the (perfectly toned) rear end of a 20 something. I hissed "mind that lady's bum, or you'll be paying for that too" at him...so naturally for the next 10 minutes he was shouting "wahey, girl's bottom!"

I still blame his grandfather though.

joide · 19/08/2014 20:26

my dc who is two has just learned to talk keeps on asking questions wherever we go .what is this ?I have recently started to potty train her so I ask her a lot does she fell like she need to wee /poo .once when I had gone to Tesco supermarkets .I urgently rushed to the toilets for myself and my dc loudly started interrogating me "do I need to wee/poo "much to my embarrassment it was crowded that day.
when she was smaller she used to scream her guts at the supermarket at the sound of the hand dryer.

joide · 19/08/2014 20:31

once I bought her a carton of apple juice with a picture of Scooby doo and apple on the front at a supermarket.my dc is 2 .so as she was drinking I asked her what juice was it and she promptly replied "doggy juice":)

HALA · 20/08/2014 15:02

I was looking for petit pois peas the other day, and could not spot them, so I asked a near by supermarket staff. He pointed it out, and it was right infront of my eyes, which made me blush with shame !

mumsbe · 22/08/2014 14:20

My child thinks its funny to pump and blame the baby letting everyone know how disgusting it is like she is chocking and falling to the floor or holding her nose and pointing OR pumping and keeping as quiet as she can with everyone looking around and moving really fast away from us. my lovely little one is then sniggering quietly she is a real little giggler

perkypeach · 22/08/2014 14:22

A couple of months ago with my daughter and my toddler in tow we were looking at the birthday cakes and a lady said to my daughter you have to eat all goods things to get a cake like this and be beautiful my daughter replied is that why you are not and have hair growing out of your chin because you didnt omg floor swallowing moment please

ataraxia · 23/08/2014 16:54

When my brother went through the terrible twos he found the one way to get around Mum's policy of ignoring the tantrums - he started banging his head on the floor of the supermarket!

Keepcalmanddrinkwine · 23/08/2014 22:29

So many supermarket stories to choose from, which probably explains why I choose to shop online or alone now.

I still smile when I remember DD being convinced the rotund, bearded gentleman in our local supermarket was Father Christmas and was fascinated by his basket, seeing what he was buying and telling him she was being very good. It was the middle of summer.