Page 2 | Friends with kids when childfree

NoKidding · 2023-06-15T20:47:17+00:00

Do you find it hard when kids are almost always the main topic of conversation? Am always interested in my friends’ lives, whether that’s family, work, travel, pets… but it can be hard when kids are the main topic all the time, or they are physically there when trying to talk. I think being childfree is unusual amongst most of my friends, which doesn’t help…!

1967buglet · 08/08/2023 15:05

Yes, that has been my experience too. I just nod politely and ask questions about grandchildren. Now and again, I get a glimpse of the person who is my friend, outside of being a mum and grandmother. I know it can be a huge part of people’s identity, which is fine, but I hope not all of it.

dayslikethese1 · 08/08/2023 18:51

Parenting seems to be so much more intense these days. When I was little in the 80s, my parents would just take me along to whatever they were doing and got on with their lives basically. Now it seems like your whole life changes and everything becomes about the kids.

KimberleyClark · 08/08/2023 19:58

dayslikethese1 · 08/08/2023 18:51

Parenting seems to be so much more intense these days. When I was little in the 80s, my parents would just take me along to whatever they were doing and got on with their lives basically. Now it seems like your whole life changes and everything becomes about the kids.

Agreed. I was a child during the 60s and a teen during the 70s. My parents used the benign neglect style of parenting. We were expected to entertain ourselves much of the time and organised child centred activities outside of school and birthday parties were pretty much non existent!

Theraininpsain · 08/08/2023 20:42

dayslikethese1 · 08/08/2023 18:51

Parenting seems to be so much more intense these days. When I was little in the 80s, my parents would just take me along to whatever they were doing and got on with their lives basically. Now it seems like your whole life changes and everything becomes about the kids.

I was little in the 90s and it was the same. The times I do remember doing something fun, it was my older siblings taking me along with them. The parents I know now take kids swimming, to soft play, to the park, to educational museums etc. Our weekends were church and getting dragged round M&S while mum tried on clothes.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 08/08/2023 20:46

dayslikethese1 · 08/08/2023 18:51

Parenting seems to be so much more intense these days. When I was little in the 80s, my parents would just take me along to whatever they were doing and got on with their lives basically. Now it seems like your whole life changes and everything becomes about the kids.

This. We were expected to amuse ourselves in the background while adults socialized.

Also, everyone's parents used babysitters, including the girls down the street we barely knew their name. We were expected to get along, obey the sitter and not make a ness.

Nowadays they "won't leave children other than with grandparents" or otherwise restrict themselves to basically living through their kids.

Catsmere · 08/08/2023 23:06

KimberleyClark · 08/08/2023 19:58

Agreed. I was a child during the 60s and a teen during the 70s. My parents used the benign neglect style of parenting. We were expected to entertain ourselves much of the time and organised child centred activities outside of school and birthday parties were pretty much non existent!

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Same, and nothing would have got me interested in hanging around with the same little shits I had to put up with every day at school. I went to two birthday parties as a child (one fun, the other a dud) and that was ample. I wanted to be home with my books and toys.