finding a nanny - do i really *need* a someone who can drive?

[bossykate]

hi everyone

i'm trying to find a nanny at the moment and am finding it tough going. i need after school and holiday cover and i suppose there aren't so many people in this market. i've found that a number of otherwise interviewable candidates can't drive - so i'm asking myself do i really need a driver?

The issue is how can picking up dd from nursery on public transport/walking be integrated with ds's school pick up? There are 2 possible scenarios.

(1) 2.30pm pick up dd from nursery, walk or get bus from nursery to school to pick up ds at 3.10pm.

Major disadvantage of this option is that dd will be picked up at 2.30pm - we are paying for the whole day at nursery! Doesn't seem like a good bargain to me.

(2) 3.10pm pick up ds from school, walk/get bus to nursery, arrive nursery 3.40pm. Pick up dd. Leave nursery 3.50pm. Walk/get bus home - get home 4.20/4.30pm.

the major disadvantage of this option is that poor ds is spending nearly an hour and a half going to and fro dd's nursery, when he could be in the park or doing something more fun.

dd's nursery pick up is the only reason we might need a driver - there are plenty of activities within walking distance or easily accessible by public transport. ds's school is 5min walk from the house.

dh says he can always pick up dd himself (he does the pick ups at the moment) but i feel if we are still going to have the bother of picking dd up we might as well go with a childminder.

any advice appreciated - this is doing my head in and i need to update my ads on monday!

thanks in advance

Tell me about it

TBH - I feel as if my life is one long compromise!

Actually BK - Having thought it through, are you completely wedded to DD going to nursery.

I really do think having a FT nanny would make all your lives so much easier and if you get a good one then they will make sure that DD doesn't miss out too much on the socialisation she would get at nursery.

I think a FT nanny would make life for both your children seem just like having mum or dad at home, and for you there would be the benefit of having lots of the children's things taken care of.

I know it is a very difficult decision for you - and I know from before that you preferred nursery for DD, but if having a FT nanny makes life a bit easier, doesn;t that count for a lot too in terms of stress!!

nannies are certainly good for reducing stree, but I think it depends on how old your dd is, and how important her nursery is to her. You could alway compramise and have her go to nursery for fewer days a week. Our dd did three days this year (she's just off to school now) and it worked out well.

can anyone bear more of my whinging on this? people have real problems, fhs!

saw a v. nice cm on friday - after lengthy discussion with dh, we have decided we would in the ideal world go for a nanny, simply because that option takes some of the stress off us in a way that outside-home-childcare simply doesn't.

i am now very tempted to go for a ft nanny - even thought this would be a much more expensive option, and more importantly, not really what we want in the ideal world, simply because we are run a bit ragged as it is and i'm going to start a new and much more stressful and demanding job in sept.

don't really want to do this, but....

now i have to discuss with dh, who wants to have the cake (dd getting the benefits of nursery) and eat it too (get some of the burden lifted off him in the evening - he normally does the pm routine). as usual he is bereft of ideas, but is good at throwing spokes in whatever i suggest

how pathetic are we? hundreds of thousands of parents have to face this - why are we making such heavy weather of it

Have you thought about nany share?

That way you would be able to offer a nanny full time hours and therefore you may have more candidates, surely one of whom would drive?

Bk - i think it seems such a tough call because you care and because you want the abolute best for both your children. There's nothing wrong in any of that is there???

TBH - having a full time nanny is just the same as what you would be doing if you or DH was at home, and what children have had for many many years in teh past. They have a mixture of quite focused one on one when at home and get plenty of socialisation when they go to mother and toddlers, or tumbeltots or other such classes.

Most qualified nannies are very genned up on educational play and so you can expect lots of singing rhymes, arts and crafts, learning letters. Also lots of walks in the park picking up leaves, naming trees and birds, keeping a diary etc.

It might now be your ideal, but it is workable and probably 'good enough'

The biggest difference though will be the weight that they take off of you, and you sound like you could all do with a break right now

update for those in suspense!

have decided i don't in fact need a driver, dd would just have to be picked up a bit earlier than i'd like - ok, i'll live with it if the right person doesn't drive.

we are now trying to decide between a v. nice nanny and a v. nice childminder!!!

thanks again for all the help on this thread

for anyone who would like to hear more of the bossyfamily peregrinations in the desperate search for after school childcare, don't worry i have other issues for your attention