How to deal with childminder claiming children are sick

[BernardButlersBra]

Started with a childminder a while back, children have not done a full month in this time as she keeps on messaging asking for us to pick them up as they are "ill". This isn't their first childcare provider and are toddlers now, so it isn't the "we've just started going to childcare and we catch everything going" phase. Plus we have a clear understanding of whether they are sick or not e.g. today it was because they were coughing and another child had an upset stomach the other day.

Husband and l have used up all of our emergency leave and annual leave, yesterday she decided she wasn't having them back for the rest of the week. So we have had to take unpaid leave. Currently tempted to take them to the doctors but obviously that is a waste of NHS resources as they are fine or turn out with a thermometer every time we get summoned.

My cm never did this. Used her for 14 years. Would only refuse d and v and impetigo.

If they felt under the weather they would lie in her sofa with a blanket.

She is indeed a CF. No one made her be self employed, there’s always a risk of children being ill after all. But lm not picking up the tab for it. Not sure if her other families have taken it lying down or have worked out the real situation

That’s awful! She really should have been honest with you. When mine were younger if they were sick I would let families know and give them the option of keeping their child off, without paying, if they wanted. Now they’re older they stay upstairs away from everyone if they’re sick.

When you use a childminder you do really take on the whole family while also becoming part of theirs. Trust both sides is a must, and this kind of mistrust completely breaks down the relationship. I think you are absolutely right to look elsewhere.
When looking for another childminder I would try to get some personal recommendations, ask them about their sickness policy and outright ask how many times they have had to close due to their or their child’s illness (some childminders have a back up plan for this to avoid closure)
Childminders can be a fabulous choice of childcare, if you can find the right one for your family. Have a look at reviews on childcare.co.uk, ask other local parents and contact you LA for funding advice. Gook luck!

@Ericeric and @PollyBell it’s the expense of nursery that puts us off. But at the moment we have the worst of both worlds: paying AND no childcare

I’ve known of both childminders and nurseries who are over-zealous on this.

Not much incentive for them to be measured about it when they are paid regardless IMO.

Say you can’t cope with the level of absence she’s asking for and find new childcare.

This basically what we put back to her: our children aren’t sick and hers are sick. So she needs to take on the chin. A lot of husbands family work in healthcare, some of them have seen our children and also agree they aren’t sick.

Nursery is expensive but reliable. We have no family back up so childminders don’t work for us.

Is it the same person?! Yesterday l started compiling the occurrences and there is a strong theme with Fridays 🙄

This is why we use a nursery. Good luck finding somewhere reliable OP.

It's not in her illness policy though as they aren't ill. She was claiming they are ill but they aren't and it's her child. We thought this the other times but it's getting too frequent now and we are out of road with work. Plus what happens when our children are actually ill?

There most likely is something more to this: l get a vibe of OCD and/or health anxiety off of her. But again that's not my problem and she needs to address that herself.

I would start looking for a new setting today.

Also, I don’t think a childminder is better than a nursery or vice versa. I think it depends which is better for the individual child.

So she's a shit childminder then. It's no longer in your child's or your interest to give her your business so start looking for alternatives

I would find another provider. I would also refuse to collect them. If she calls you and says they are sick clarify if they have v&d or a temperature and if the answer is no I would say then they are well enough to attend and I will collect after work. Cheeky fucker. I have refused to collect from
nursery before now when mine had a cold. I don’t keep my kids home for just a cold if they have no temperature then they can go in

Why didn't you?

@BernardButlersBrai don’t think you need to be polite in this situation. She is continuing to take you for a ride. We always used nurseries for this reason as so many friends had similar nightmare situations with childminders. I appreciate this isn’t the case with all childminders but it was too risky for us as my dh nor me had no option of wfh . Serve notice now and say why. I would consider reporting to Ofsted too. What a cheeky and dishonest woman. I wouldn’t want my dc being around her.

You shouldn't have to pay if she closes due to her child's illness (unless this is in the contract you agreed to).

Not sure what people think Ofsted will do though, Ofsted isn't the childminder's manager?
Ofsted are regulators that ensure providers fulfil the requirements of the EYFS, they don't arbitrate contract disputes.

I've had this also, sent home with a minor issue a few times. I can't keep taking time off over silly things. A cough could last 6 weeks, it's ridiculous to send them home. Fair enough a tummy bug which is contagious or a chest infection etc where they are very ill.

Maybe that’s how she plays it

she’s ill but won’t get paid so says your kids are

tho picking up as another child is ill is insane

you know what you have to do - find new childcare

Needless to say no one is very thrilled with me today.

I am OP. I think you sound fabulous!

You have been let down. You've let down no one. I am sorry you were unlucky. In my experience both child minders and nursery would only call for vomit, temp or suspicious rash (eg looking like chicken pox). And that would only be in the case of your child, not theirs (!)

You are dealing with a lot and heroically so. I hereby award you a parenting high five and wish you the very best standard of future childcare. You are brilliantly dealing with a sea of arseholes.

The default parenting vibe off everyone was grinding my gears! Childminder seemed to think her sick child was my problem and then my husband trying to weasel out of his obligations. It doesn’t help she always tries to ring / text me rather than the WhatsApp group -even when she knows lm not even in the county

I can't believe she had the audacity to still charge you when someone else's child was ill. No way would I pay for that day!

I would also suggest looking for a nursery, she is a massive CF.

Who do l make aware she’s claiming for government funding under false pretenses then? I can withhold our money for this week out of next months but not sure how it’s resolved with the funded part

Husband talked me out of it, it’s pretty much verbatim what l would have written. He probably regrets it somewhat as he had to carry a fair amount of the can for last week

I chose to send my DC to nursery and one of the reasons was to avoid this type of flaky behaviour from child minders. My DC had 3 years each at nursery and aside from a week for chicken pox they missed only a few days each for sickness in that time.