At our wits end with childcare - any advice

[glasspaw]

We engaged an agency to find us a 2 day a week nanny. We paid a finders fee of around £2k in January. The nanny started in February and decided she was relocating literally 2 weeks later. The agency found us a free replacement but it took 4 months. We had to pay the payroll company twice to register two different individuals. Nanny 2 started in July and has now handed in her notice.

in total we have paid about £2500 in agency and payroll fees, and for that we have had childcare cover for less than 4 months in total.

Do we have any protection here? My guess is that the answer is no but this all feels tremendously unfair. The agency has said we have used our free replacement search already so would have to pay again. I know we are in a privileged position to be able to pay a nanny but genuinely it’s the only option that allows us both to keep working. We aren’t rolling in it and are still eligible for the 30 “free” hours but with two children to cover and work schedules that sometimes have us both away overnight it just isn’t a sustainable option.

One of you needs to find a new job. This sounds like a very stressful family life.

Maybe you’re not very nice to work for. Losing two nannies within such a short period would seem to indicate that.

I don’t think that’s fair, the turnover in these jobs and childcare in general can be very high.

I just think it sounds a stressful environment for kids - multiple nannies in and out like a revolving door and parents away on work trips regularly.

Oh wow that’s quite a take.

first one quit because her husband accepted a new job which required them to relocate. She didn’t disclose this was already a possibility when taking the job. Our guess is she was hedging her bets.

second one had 2 part time roles, the other one let her go and our part time placement didn’t cover her living costs. She asked if we could up to full time, we can’t, and also don’t need to because we have the rest of the week covered.

so no. That isn’t the case at all 😂

Agencies often aren’t the best place to find a nanny. If you can ask around friends because good, reliable nannies tend to be referred by word of mouth and are snapped up without ever needing to go near an agency.

Even more so turnover is high when the work environment isn’t good. The first nanny lasted for two weeks and the second less than three months and that suggests a problem.
Be honest, OP. Are you paying appropriately? Are your children difficult to deal with or badly behaved? Do you expect unrealistic work from your nannies, especially as you say you’re both often away overnight - what hours do you expect them to work to take account of that and for how much money?

Maybe read the OP's posts?

I’m not sure if using an agency pays off…I go by recommendations and I also signed up to one of these online platforms where you can put an advert out and view profiles of nannies in the area. I ask prospective Nannie’s for references and DBS check (which I figure is the same an agency would do). Then a paid trial shift to see if we’re a good match.

I have, and none of those questions were answered, even disregarding the fact I was writing them
as she posted.

Maybe learn to read timestamps?

Which platforms have you used successfully? I signed up for childcare.co.uk (just a free profile for now). It’s hard to know what’s worth paying for. We don't have any parent friends who are in the position of needing childcare (one of the parents always gives up work).

intentionally not responding to the bizarre character assassination on this post.

Do you know any nannies? I know of several nanny and family whatsapp groups in my area. Perhaps there are similar where you live. You could also try nannyjob.co.uk, and pay for a month's membership on childcare.co.uk.

intentionally not responding to the bizarre character assassination on this post.

It’s not a character assassination at all but if you choose not to reflect on these things to see if there may be a common theme causing these nannies to leave your employ so quickly then you can’t really be surprised when the next one leaves after a few weeks too.

You’ve said that your jobs take you both away overnight and it could be something as simple as that you’re expecting the nanny to do overnight care but only paying an appropriate rate for a day job. Why post if you don’t want to solve the problem?

My question was around whether we had finders fee protections.

you’ve offered unsolicited advice based on your assumptions on what is wrong.

but to answer your question. We paid £20ph plus expenses, and we never expect the nanny to stay overnight, just to be flexible enough to stay slightly late until one of us or one of our family can take over (and we pay overtime at 1.5x). Our work trips have only landed on the same day once this year and my mum stayed with the kids.

our roles are very flexible and enable us to avoid travelling at the same time except for that one occasion.

I had good results with childcare.co.uk op, I was really clear about what I wanted and found someone who could do it. Our kids were with her for about 18 months, until we moved away. Good luck!

My question was around whether we had finders fee protections.

… the answer to which would be “probably not if something about your working conditions is what’s causing them to leave”, so again, it’s worth honestly reflecting on that question to see if it is something that’s easily fixed. It’s interesting that you went so quickly on the defensive rather than choosing to do that.

“but to answer your question. We paid £20ph plus expenses, and we never expect the nanny to stay overnight, just to be flexible enough to stay slightly late until one of us or one of our family can take over (and we pay overtime at 1.5x).”

How late is “slightly late”? How flexible is flexible?
For example: Ten minutes while your mum is popping in from next door? Fine. Four hours on a Friday night while you scrabble for alternative childcare or a family member has to finish work first then drive two hours to relieve the nanny? Probably not, no matter how much you’re paying them, and that’s the sort of thing that makes people quit especially if it’s “expected”.

Again, it’s worth reflecting on these things, otherwise you’re going to end up repeatedly forking out finders fees for new staff, aren’t you?

Definitely try posting on childcare.co.uk or nappyvalleynet if you are in sw london

I wonder if it’s more to do with only wanting 2 days rather than a full time position. I’d imagine most want full time hours. Not much you can do about that but it feels like a limiting factor.

My last job via an agency lasted for 9 years, so it can work. However since 2017 I have found nanny work via ChildcareCoUk. Some jobs have lasted 18 months - 2 years, a one day per week job lasted for nearly 8 years.
I like jobs which are one day or two days per week but not all nannies do, so finding the right nanny can be hard. You may have just been unlucky, situations change.

Agencies were inho a complete waste of space. They didnt do the level of references checking I expected and they haven't improved it seems in the intervening years since I last used one.
Unfortunately the answer will be go back and carefully read your contract. I assume it does not have any wiggle room in it? After the 2 week situation I'd have personally insisted on a no fee until 4 weeks service or similar.
You have limited options, maybe go back and argue that the first "free" placement does not count because she resigned after 2 weeks so they clearly hadn't done their job ensuring she was in a position to commit to the role. Tell them you will publicly name them and review them on every available platform explaining your situation. Fact based is not slander! But is likely all you can do.

Childcare.co.uk worked for me but I used the paid version. I got a lot of contacts immediately.

I would agree, agencies are pointless.
Finding someone who lasted two weeks is not acceptable.You've paid someone to engage a service provider for a certain length of time and they haven't done that.
I would send a letter before action to the agency and ask for your money back.

Your agency sounds pretty useless, but I doubt you will get far with them. The contract is probably in their favor.

taking 4 months to find a replacement does emphasize how difficult it is to find someone who can work part-time. Most people need full time work to survive. The few people who only want to work part time typically have some other demand on their time that means they have less flexibility.

That’s a very good point, especially if, as the OP says, they ask that the nannies are flexible about staying late (and she still hasn’t specified how late is late, but given that she’s said she pays overtime for it I’m going to guess it’s probably not a quick 10 minutes here and there).

Where are you based?

some areas have good facebook groups for finding a nanny

As a nanny, I get work through recommendations and childcare . Co . Uk

Did the agency give you their Ts and Cs when I hired through them? Given that the second person was with you for three months, unfortunately I didn’t think the agency will give you anything back

I think 2 days a week can be tricky - it's not enough to live on and it can be hard for the nanny to find another job for exactly the days/hours they are free. So I suspect you are always going to have high turnover and lose out if the nanny is offered a 4 or 5 day a week job.