Does this childcare exist? Early mornings.

[rainyskylight]

Hi,

My husband leaves for work very early in the morning (6:35am). He is a teacher, there is no flexibility. Because of this, I do all of the nursery drop-offs for our 3yo DD. She is very settled at her nursery and we do not want to move her.

My career is being limited in certain kinds of progression because I cannot travel and stay overnight because nursery opens at 7:30am, an hour after DH catches his train. I am missing out and it is endlessly frustrating. I earn more than my DH, by some way. But his job is important too.

I need someone to come to our house at 6:25am and take DD to nursery for 8:30am.

We are in SE London. Does this exist? Where can I find it?

Any advice very much welcome!

Teaching is rotten for inflexibility. And I get why he wants to be in early. But...

1. does he have to do that every day? Could he make it so that once or twice a week he gets the later train?
2. What about the other end of the day? Does he do pickups?

We had a childminder who would do this for us when we were both working early shifts. We dropped DS off at her house as that's how it generally works with childminders. A nanny would do this too in your own house, buy would be more expensive.
So yes, it's possible

Yes if your overnights are not that frequent, then can DH get in later just on those days? As presumably actual teaching doesn’t start till later?

I’m not saying this is right - but in most couples the secondary earner would accept that their job has to flex sometimes to accommodate the higher earner’s career. Of course in most couples the secondary earner is a woman…

Yep. One teen, one tween.
Both are up. The teen is dressed, and has cooked waffles for breakfast.

If you have the space, what about an Au Pair, this way your child doesn't need to leave the house at a crazy time, and it's a reasonably easy job for someone. That or a nanny.

I’m not sure a childminder would be suitable here, especially if you wanted this doing every day. Most childminders need to finish at 5pm or later as that’s where the demand is, so it’s unreasonable to ask them to start work a 10 and a half hour shift 5 days a week.

Might be a nanny or something like that. That childcare website people are suggesting sounds a good shout. Or yes, if you know anyone generally who might need some extra cash and is incredibly reliable, as getting up that early is hard for a lot of people.

What is your plan for school hours and school holidays?

The only way we’ve got round all this is for me to reduce my hours. I do feel i’ve lost my career though.

It will exist if you are willing to pay whatever it costs. I suspect finding those kinds of timings "off the shelf" so to speak would be really difficult- a more creative solution might be the answer. I would maybe look for an older possibly early retired teacher/police officer/nurse (basically someone who may not have traditionally provided childcare but would have or could pass a DBS check, used to different working patterns etc) and look to pay £20+ per hour. Ask friends and relatives nearby if they know anyone plus on local Facebook groups/Nextdoor and any local notice boards to place an add. Is this temporary until DC starts school or is the childcare issue going to get even more complicated then?

I can think of at least 3 teenagers I know who would do this. A cash in hand job before school, leaving their afternoons , evenings and weekends clear would suit them to a tee. But they are life’s hustlers, two of them did paper runs for years in primary school. The idea of the lazy unmotivated teenager is a modern invention.

@surreygirl1987 my point is, my experience of my time working in schools is that a lot of teachers are in early, at least an hour before school starts. I didn't say you had to be in an hour early or work when you're not being paid, did I? People have made huge assumptions without knowing why the OP's DH has to commute so early and all I'm saying is, it's not always as easy as just changing school... maybe he teaches a very specific subject, maybe he likes his school, maybe he gets two TLR's that would be hard to replicate in another school, maybe he's the bloody headteacher, who knows?! NOT US! Everyone being so up in arms without any information about the situation really is quite ridiculous, let alone posting about nothing to do with the actual question!

OP, I think your asking a lot, but I agree some local nursery staff may be glad of some extra money - it IS early though! Hope you find someone

This. Pre kids I used to get to school at 6;30, do all my planning or marking by tutor time. Post kids I slid through the door at 8:25

We did similar to @dancinginthewind - set out what you require and someone will respond (am in SE London and we put an ad in The News Shopper!)

I have a babysitter who does 7-9 once or twice a week, drops off at preschool. Yes to the site others have mentioned as I advertised there.

I would ask at her nursery to see if any one there would like to earn extra money

So they come to your house. Get 3yr up and take to nursery where they work

Do you have room for an au pair? That would be the simplest solution. They are harder to get post Brexit, but not impossible.

thanks everyone for the advice. I wasn’t expecting quite such a debate about my husband’s working hours.

I will post on the childcare website. I’m happy to pay double the hourly rate etc. I know it’s not a normal time.

In response to some of the teacher job chat: my DH moved to this job before the LTNs came in across south London - it’s now a very difficult and stressful drive with no parking at the other end. The train connection works against him and trains can be shit.

To the poster who said that all of the teachers at their school don’t get in until 8:25 - crazy to say, but not all schools start at the same time. This one has registration at 8:15am, and teachers are generally all in by 7:30.

to the poster who felt sad for my 3yo - I don’t need your opinion thanks. The flip side to this situation is he finishes work at a regular time and has 17 weeks of holiday a year (private sector) and spends a good chunk of that with him. And my work often starts late so I can drop her off as late as 9:15 so we have 2.5 hours together in the morning.

thanks everyone.

@Blondeshavemorefun this sounds like a great idea! We are 7 min walk from the nursery and for them it would only be starting work an hour early. Thank you!

Hopefully that will solve your issue

They may be happy to do as hoc as and when - with a little notice

Or May have to - to guarantee they will always be free no matter what - to pay them a retainer 5 days a week and then full rate if they work for you

Chidminder or nanny, probably not cheap! You could also get an au pair

@NotmyfirstRodeomyfriend, this was your comment that I responded to:

The teachers rocking up to school 10 mins before the first bell .... really?! I've worked in schools for 15 years, you're clearly not in a pastoral role

Surely, SURELY you can see why your abhorrence that anyone would arrive at work (sorry, 'rock up') 10 minutes before the first bell is incredibly problematic...?!

my experience of my time working in schools is that a lot of teachers are in early, at least an hour before school starts

Yes, YOUR experience. Other people's experience is difference. Gosh, at my school, I often see the Head arrive at work as I arrive. And that's fine - or certainly SHOULD be fine. God, no wonder there is a retention and recruitment crisis in teaching with attitudes like yours! 🙄

Oh calm down @surreygirl1987, seems to me that you're personally affronted I've suggested teachers can be and are in early which seems to be triggering to you. I was sharing my experience, you were sharing yours... OP has clarified that her DH does need to be in early, that's the bottom line isn't it. I think most teachers would take exception to the idea that they can turn up as class starts, I'll wait to be corrected by more, other than you...🙄🙄🙄

I live and work in the same bit of London and teach.

You can easily get stuck with inconvenient hours the first year in a teaching job but after that you need to be strategic!

If you're travelling for work just now and again, he can book a taxi to work on those days via nursery and ask for cover for tutor time if it's not possible to do it for 8.15am. Or figure out some task he can take on and negotiate not being a tutor.

Or possibly you arrange a sleepover with a nursery friend in exchange for a full day's care in the school holidays? If DD is a reasonable sleeper.

What are your husband's suggestions to solve the problem, by the way?

@rainyskylight - sympathies with the LTNs - doubled my commute.

Hi @Phineyj - yeah, this is loosely what we’ve discussed for one off days but if I go to the US I need to be away for basically a week. Nursery opens 7:45, he needs to be in at 8:15. It’s 45mins to get there, but longer and riskier when travelling at rush hour. He can and has negotiated in the past cover for early morning stuff if we’ve had a one-off important thing, but it’s always a case of asking permission. I don’t like having to rely on the school to agree - would much rather have a childcare back up plan that we have a bit more control over, even if it’s expensive!

That does sound difficult.

Well, a nanny does sound like the only option to be honest and they'd need to stay in your house. Although there are all sorts of people out there and you might be lucky and find a very early riser who wants the rest of the day free (as pp have suggested).

I feel if the sexes were reversed the woman in this situation would probably not be working tbh, or would be freelancing.

The other options as pp have suggested are a more local teaching job (or boarding and you all live in?)

What's your plan for primary school?

OP you need someone with a DBS check and child first aid at the very least!

Ask if any nursery staff would do this as your first port of call. Alternatively a student eg college or uni one who is sensible and studying something like childcare or health and social (will have a DBS check). I would be loathe to do this option but its more sensible than a random person doing cash in hand!

Its a pain trying to sort childcare around work I do understand this but it also sounds like you are going through sensible routes eg childcare websites or nanny roles.