Young Nanny Driving Thoughts Needed Please

[EezyOozy]

Hi there,

I have two daughters aged just 5 and nearly 6.5. My husband and I both work and will need paid childcare for some of the school holidays.

For various reasons we have decided to opt for ad hoc childcare in our own home (like a “holiday nanny”) rather than use the one local holiday club (which is actually in a nursery). There are a few reasons for this which I won’t derail this thread with!

we live in a very rural area so there are fewer options.

So I asked around and found a local young lady who works in a preschool nursery and was available to help for odd days in the holidays. She studied childcare at college and has all her first aid, food hygiene etc. What even better is that another mum I know - who works as admin in the same school that the young lady works in - was able to personally vouch for her , say how good she is with the kids etc.

my husband works from home but I don’t. The idea is that she will look after the kids in our home with my husband available if she/they ever need him. We live in a smal village but it has two play parks, a shop, and we have a large house with a playroom and a back garden with climbing frame etc. There are lots of nice walks around as well.

She has been for a couple of visits and today I left her with the children for 2 hours. One hour I went upstairs and did jobs.. the second hour I popped out to the shops. She was lovely with them and all seems fine.

my idea was that for the days she is looking after them - which will amount to about 10-12 days over the whole year! - they will just do stuff locally. However today she asked if I would be happy to let her take them out in her car. It’s a decent car (newer than mine) and she seems very sensible however she is only 19. She has been driving for 1.5 years. I said I would give it some thought for the longer term … but would prefer the first couple of times she has the kids for a full day (9-3), that they just stay local.

As we are not in a town or city, you have to drive in country roads or national speed limit roads to get anywhere. The buses are hopeless.

My husband thinks I’m being silly but I feel a bit worried about it… mostly because she is young and my children can be distracting (squabbling etc) in the car. I’ve been driving for 20 years and even I find it hard sometimes!

At the same time I don’t want her to feel like a prisoner in our village … and she is local so is used to driving on these roads….but then again she is only doing odd days.

If she did want to take them out I’d have to get two more good quality car seats, isofix ones. I wouldn’t want to be swapping them over from my car as the mornings will be enough of a rush already.

I would be grateful for thoughts on what to do in the longer term as I don’t know if I’m being overly anxious or not. Thanks :)

Go in the car with her for a journey
see how she is
if she also lives rurally she’ll know about country lanes etc

Go out with her in her car yourself? So you can see if she's competent and confident enough. .
also presume you will have to change over /instal car seats in her car. Is that do-able fairly easily?

@SiobhanSharpe not that easy as they’re isofix . I’d prefer to get some additional seats.. which seems madness for the ad hoc childcare but I’m hoping she will help us for years to come

You either trust her to look after your children, or you don’t, surely?

Isofix means its easier surely? And safer? If she's got a decent car?

@PosyPrettyToes I think driving is a pretty specific and separate thing actually.

I think having your husband WFH is clouding things a bit, it might be nicer for her (and your DH!) if she's able to take the DC out, especially when it's not great weather.

Before you agree, ask her to make sure she's got the correct car insurance in place.

@Keepingittogetherstepbystep thank you. When you say correct car insurance do you mean “work” specific? Rather than the usual commuting / leisure

To be honest for the limited time you are going to use her there are plenty of activities she can do without needing to drive anywhere. I wouldn't consider that it was worth the worry or indeed the expense of more car seats.

Thank you @Mossstitch , I think you are right. And it seems she would need additional insurance as well. We could offer to pay for taxis if there is a specific thing they want to go to… maybe that would be a compromise. There are firms around here that supply car seats

Also, as I finish work at 1430-1500 I could always pick them up from wherever they are. I have only just thought of this. So they’d only need to go “one way” by other means.

I'm not really sure what insurance she would need ( it would be some sort of business insurance) but it wouldn't be covered under commuting and leisure as you're paying her to look after them.

Thanks everyone . I feel a bit clearer on things now!

She would need business cover on her car insurance. I would also suggest she gets a nanny insurance as well to cover her should anything happen to a child or your property when in her care. I use https://www.mortonmichel.com/ for mine.

I was a nanny and took the kids out in my car. They also lived in a fairly rural area with only one park and a village shop within walking distance. I took them to playgroups, days out to the farm, trips to coffee shops, library, soft play. It was definitely beneficial for all of us, parents had spare car seats that were just left in my car. I had to add business insurance but it was only about £40 that I paid for. This is a deal breaker for many Nannies, especially during the summer, days are long and there’s lots of lovely places to take children to. I’d also be careful about blurring the lines between you caring for the children and the nanny. Nannies should have sole charge and so you picking the children up etc would be disruptive for both the children and the nanny.

Thanks @na1alie , she is only doing ad hoc days around 6 hours each.

Very strange that you feel they are safer in a taxi with a non-invested random person than a nanny you are trusting with their sole care.

Very strange that you came on to this thread just to be unhelpful and rude. Perhaps you don’t have much going on.

Re taxis - Not strange at all… all the taxi drivers locally are extremely experienced drivers. Unlike the nanny. Childcare and driving aren’t actually the same skill set…

You must have better taxi drivers than the ones local to us. They drive like crazy, stop where they want in my area.

Gosh, I wouldnt be at all happy with a taxi in these circumstances.

I understand your concern about the nanny but I do feel it is overly anxious. When we have had nannies, part of the experience is letting them come up with ideas of how to spend the time, what to cook etc. it doesn't always have to be your way.

Re car seats, I assume you mean isofit and they aren't still in 5 point harnesses? Most just strap in on the belt also, but in any event, you could just take them out of your car the night before and let the nanny put them in. Again it isn't a big deal really.

Obviously you don't want to do this, you might find the nanny is less keen to work with you in these circs. Perhaps the answer is to say to go e it a few days and then decide together when you have got to know each other.

The only reason high back booster seats have isofix is to stop them sliding about when there isn’t a child strapped into them. The seatbelt is still doing the majority of the heavy lifting in terms of safety of the child. I wouldn’t be over concerned about isofix being essential.

I do understand your concern but honestly I think some younger/newer drivers are actually better as they are trying/concentrating harder, it’s easy to rather complacent with driving when more experienced.

I worked as a nanny and was driving children around (both country roads and towns) from the age of 18 and had no issues. What I will say is that nannying with a parent at home can be very difficult, the children often try to run off to the parent if you’ve said no to something and you’re trying to not let the children disturb the working parent. Being out of the house can make things so much easier, and the kids will have a lot of fun out and about!

I agree entirely that having a nanny drive your children in a car is entirely different from having them use public transport and/or cabs.

Weve had numerous Nannies that drove but they were not that young and had references for driving other charges. I wouldn’t have been ok with a young un experienced nanny driving my children because one of my DC was a fucking nightmare in the car and also it can be a huge juggle at the best of times.

It is so few days and such little time - we pretty much had 52 weeks a year full time Nannie’s so the car was essential for time management more than anything else.

We did work out the insurance but I don’t remember what it was. We also had clear agreements that stipulated, for example, that the children were not to be left in the car alone, etc. It just depends on how freewheeling you are with the relationship.

Maybe she does just want more choice of activities and freedom or autonomy in the role and is trying to find that independence with the car.

Good luck.

I’m paranoid about other people driving my DD. I’ve only started allowing my DD’s grandparents to drive her around in the last couple of years and certainly never allowed her childminder. Nannying and driving are very different skill sets and, in your shoes, I would be saying no as she is only nannying for a few days a year.