Nursery, childminder or grandparents?

[Bestforchildcare]

We have recently become very proud grandparents. My daughter and son-in-law have already started planning for when maternity leave is over in 4 month's time. The suggestions so far are that both Grandmothers (early retirement, fit and well 60 year olds, both former teachers, one a nursery teacher, living 15 minutes away. Grandfathers are still working full time) could look after our granddaughter one day each then nursery the remaining two days. Both of the Grandmothers get on well and we've agreed between us that if needed due to sickness, holidays etc, we would swap days or take on the full two days cover. The other option is that childcare is split, two days each grandmother which we're more than happy to do. Our granddaughter would be taken to baby groups, taken out and about. The baby will be 9 months old. No nursery. I'd really appreciate thoughts from parents on what you think would be the best option for our granddaughter and her parents; grandparent care or split with nursery? What would you do? Thank you.

I think I’d pick grandparent/nursery combo just in case looking after DGC 2 days per week and 4 when the other grandmother is away/ill/has stuff on gets too much.

My ds did 4 days with my parents (going to baby groups etc) from 12m - 18m. He then started 1.5 days at nursery and now at 23m he does 2 days nursery, 2 days with my parents and it works brilliantly.

My in laws have been wonderful in helping with childcare. My eldest used to go 2.5 days per week when I returned to work part time. And now my youngest goes two days per week. Neither went/go to a nursery.

My oldest is now at school and they help with the school run on a Thursday too.
They are amazing and they've saved us thousands of pounds over the years.
It was just about money either. They wanted to look after them and I thought it was really important my children developed a bond with their grandparents early on. They take them to lots of lovely places but also have nice days in baking etc.

Your granddaughter is very lucky to have grandparents that want to help and see her often. I have friends that due to distance or other reasons couldn't have that support from family and they really struggled at times.

Good on you for wanting to help the people you care about x

Can I also add being with grandparents have been brilliant for their development. Both my children are quite reserved so it has been great having that one on one care x

Grandparent care, no question. Nurseries came about as a substitute for family care. Nothing beats familial bonds for children that small.

I agree with everyone saying one day each with a Grandparent and then the other two at nursery. It is tiring being in sole charge of a young child, even though you are in this area for work you have shared responsibility with other staff and a break every 6-7 weeks.

My Mum did 3 days a week for my sister. She was fit and active, her WII fit age was mid 30s and yet she was 61. Out of the blue she was diagnosed with cancer and didn't survive 3 months, she was completely symptomless. To say it was a shock is an understatement. My sister's youngest child was late primary by this stage so my Dad just took over. But he could not have done the baby/toddler stage at all.

I’ve always been really lucky that grandparents have done a full day each. And not only that but they love it too.

I think one day is a huge commitment and wouldn’t want either set to give anymore time. I’ve always been fortunate that my Mum will do the odd weekend overnight for me too.

There will be days when baby can’t go to nursery (illness) and im sure parents would be really grateful if you could step in then

We had a similar arrangement with my daughter when I returned to work. We didn't need 4 days a week though as I only work part time and my husband works shifts so is around a lot of the time. We probably averaged 2 days a week and how our parents split it was half a day each which worked well as it never felt too much for them. We all live within a few minutes of each other which made this do-able too. I'm on mat leave again now and our daughter is starting nursery but we're hoping to do the same when I return to work again this time next year as it worked out so well for everyone. We realise how lucky we are to be in this situation and it's been great having family care for our daughter in those early years.

This sounds great in principle but in practice it's harder - e g would you cancel a holiday because the other gran was ill? Dentist appointment, doctors etc?

I think two days each puts a lot of pressure on you, one day each sounds more sustainable

I agree it all sounds fantastic when you write it down, but the reality will be very different. I also think the grandparents should do one day each and then 2 days at nursery. It's very easy to say XYZ will happen but looking after a small child (and possible future siblings) is hard work and I suspect many grandparents go into these sort of arrangements full of excitment and willing, only to get several months in and realise just how exhausting it is. But then it's too late and they feel as though they can't speak up as they don't want to let anyone down.

@Bestforchildcare
Forgot to say....One thing my mum does do for us which is BLOODY AMAZING is emergency childcare.

So when my little cherub contracts RSV, D&V, HF&M, impetigo or whatever gross new ailment is the rounds...
And my DH and I are looking at each other wondering who will cancel work and look after her as she is too sick for CM my beloved DM steps into the breach at least 4 times in 5.

It is INVALUABLE and is worth so much more to me than the money I save on paid for childcare...
Something to think about!

Thats down to the registration process. The checks can take 6 months plus at times. Theres a DBS staff shortage too. Also OFSTED staff shortage. Plus the regulations changed in January.

Thanks everyone for your replies. Very helpful. We've discussed all options this weekend and decided on Grandmothers one day each and nursery two days but with flexibility to cover sickness for baby and Grandparents! Just hoping all goes to plan.

I look after granddaughter once a week including sleepover. She attends nursery the other 4 days . We have done since she was about 7 months . Absolutely adore the her but it is a huge commitment and quite tiring . We are in our 60s . It can also get quite lonely occupying a little person all day . None of my friends are GP yet .

I think this is lovely and I'm jealous as I have no support like this.

Your grandchild is very lucky to have such supportive grandparents.

I would go nursery or child minder all the way. No matter how good the relationship is once grandparents become the child care the small niggles turn into major issues. It's here on mumsnet all the time. Food,.naps, activities all become a bone of contention. Nope, use childcare care as childcare & grandparents just as grandparents.

Ohhhthedrama, thanks for your comment. I think because of the grandmothers' professions, we totally understand the issue of niggles etc and expect them. I know from personal experience as a Nursery teacher that niggles do feature in childcare and rightly so. After all, someone else will be looking after your precious child and may do things differently. This will be no different from Grandmother daycare or nursery. If issues arise then they need to be dealt with in a calm and professional manner. Only other option imo is that my daughter gives up work which will be detrimental to the family income. Not easy for anyone really.

This is exactly what we did and it worked well for us