In shock after visit to childminders

[luw7797]

Just posting this cause I need a rant really but I just can’t believe what happened when my partner and I visited a childminders this morning! My DD is 10 months and we have decided to send her to a childminders two days a week as I’m doing a degree. We went for a look around at one that my friends little girl attends this morning. The lady seemed nice but she had a dog which actually tried to BITE my child. The dog was in the playroom with all the children and so I assumed it would be fine to let DD crawl up to it, she didn’t hit it or anything just put her hand out towards it and it snapped and had her hand in its mouth. The skin isn’t broken but there are marks, I can’t be 100% sure whether they are from the dog but I’m going to call the gp when DD wakes up from her nap. The dog then went on to growl at the other children so clearly it must do this all day long. I just can’t believe this woman keeps the dog around the children when it clearly doesn’t like it and one day it’s going to really hurt a child! She didn’t do anything when the dog went for DD, she just said oh did she fall on the dog and I said no the dog snapped at her and she didn’t say anything.

There were also about a million choking hazards floating round the place! Tiny little parts of toys here there and everywhere. You’d think a childcare setting that takes on children as young as 6 months would be careful to remove choking hazards surely?

I just can’t believe it, it’s really shaken me and made me question whether childcare is the right route to go or if I should drop out of my degree until DD is older. This was the first childminder weve visited so hopefully the next one is very different.

You need to report this to the local authority she is in - I presume she’s registered?
you also need to not bother a doctor when your child is fine, no skin broken, what do you actually expect a GP to do because your child had dog saliva on her hand, calling a Gp is ridiculous.

The fact she was recommended - and you have had this experience will make you doubt others opinions. It reminds me of my own experience of visiting a highly recommended childminder. I had no overt concerns in my two visits- but just noticed she didn’t appear to smile or enjoy the children at all , seemed flat.
We didn’t go with her ( despite being v desperate for childcare at time) - but I almost questioned my judgement given even more parents positive feedback. It was only later I realised that most parents praised her for being so flexible- able to switch days, happy to allow parents to cancel days and not charge. Whilst those aspects are all important I realise it was how she treated parents that was admired rather than the child. I see her a school gates fairly often now/ she has never hugged or smiled at mindees that come out of school
I know it’s really hard to make a decision based on visits alone but trust your instinct. When I was still looking for childcare , I contacted one lady who said she had done it 26 years so had definitely enjoyed it. I wasn’t bowled over in my visit but out of options she felt most nurturing. She didn’t do homeworks or day trips so I did wonder
I knew I made right decision when I came for pick up and she was carrying my daughter ( my very heavy, tall 3 year old daughter) on her hip, she explained they had just been watching a cartoon
nNow as much as I don’t like screen time- dd is sensitive and just loves getting to sit on someone’s knee when tired
All childminders have there strengths and weakness
Good luck in search

Exactly this.
The other parents may not be aware. You need to think of protecting all the children not just not sending your own dc.

Report her she is a bad apple.

As someone who supports victims in court I’ve lost count of the amount of people I’ve sat with - adults and still little ones - while they give evidence about abuse at a childminders that breaks your heart and turns your stomach. Most will never get any type of justice because age, development, trauma, etc. affects memory which will inevitably undermine the ability of a jury to convict.

In a lot of the cases I sit in Childminders are usually unsuspecting people that abusers target for relationships to access children. In so many cases childminders will regularly leave the child/ren in the care of a partner or other kids. It blows my mind. I will never ever leave my son at a childminders because in all honesty far too many of them make choices for the children in their care that a parent would never make.

Dogs, small objects, left in the care of -at best, strangers - at worst, abusers, seems far far too common and the price is paid by the child and family when it goes wrong.

thank you for sharing what happened to you and I’m so sorry it did - its so important people understand how abuse at childminders is far more common than people might think; because it’s one person & zero oversight.

nearly all the abuse in courts is uncles by marriage, step dads, family friends, abuse in care and abuse at a childminders. That’s Iike 99% of my abuse victims with the odd teacher or online groomer but childminding is top 5.

Omg! This is so so sad

Absolutely horrid to read.

I would just like to say how hurtful it is to read some of these comments demonising all childminders from usually one (sometimes no) encounters with a childminder.

I am not an abuser. I do not leave children alone or in the care of others. I do not park them in front of the TV and chat with friends. I do not take risks with my mindees. I do not put their needs behind those of my children. It is not a convenient way to earn money whilst I stay home with my own children.

Childminding is a career choice for me. I care passionately about the care and education of my little ones. My own children are teens and my mindees and their families are an extension of ours.

I work hard developing my knowledge and training in my own time. I look after them as I did my own, with love, kindness, awareness and energy.

I also have many childminder colleagues who are the same. They would feel the same as I do in feeling absolutely gutted at the generalisations made here towards us.

I absolutely acknowledge there are good and bad childminders. Some of my friends have really good childminders. My personal experience is that i’ve had 2 bad childminders, so based on this my personal decision is to not use any again and we’ve found nursery a lot better. I agree generalisations shouldn’t be made but I think many of us are going on experience. Just as a basic example you mentioned no tv. My second childminder had tv on all day.

But the thread isn't demonising all childminders at all and many poeple are saying they've had great CMs.

The point that's being made is that if there is abuse or neglect – which sadly there sometimes is – a CM is on their own so there's no oversight and no one would know. And in that way, a nursery may be preferable - there are bad nurseries and nursery staff too but problems are more likely to be noticed by another adult.

All the nurseries I've worked at have been full of unmotivated bitchy staff. They're not usually great environments to be fair but the parents would never know as they have a different persona on pick up time.

All the nurseries I've worked at have been full of unmotivated bitchy staff. They're not usually great environments to be fair but the parents would never know as they have a different persona on pick up time.

Yes nurseries can be bad too. I discussed this with my HV and she recommended one she said was the best she knew of in our city and that most were not great.

BUT it is nonetheless easier for a CM to get away with severe, wilful neglect or harm, and there's no oversight at all, and it's also easier for others in the CM's life or home to access children to abuse them, which is very unlikely at a nursery. And of course, as in this case, for there to be a dog involved which always brings a risk.

All CMs are not good or bad, all nursery staff/nurseries are not good or bad.

The point, again, is that the setup for a CM makes abuse/harm/neglect easier. That doesn't mean it can't happen in a nursery, but it does mean it's less likely, or more likely to be seen and reported.

A CM on here not bothered by small things on the floor?!? I wouldn't be leaving my one year old with you.

https://www.mylondon.news/news/south-london-news/toddler-2-almost-hit-2-28126586

Similar happened a nursery near me. That nursery closed down within a year.

Btw I used a nursery and a childminder.

Did you hear anything from ofsted?

It's shocking a cm had a dog in the kids play area

Should be separated at all times

Just to update as some have asked what the outcome of our complaint was. Ofsted informed the childminder of our complaint and I have heard through the friends who’s daughter went there that the childminder has chosen to close. As far as I know Ofsted haven’t done an inspection and they haven’t updated us with an outcome, this is just what I’ve heard through my friend. Friend is now unhappy with me as she had decided to keep her child on there and now she will have to find a new childminder. Personally I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, the only thing I can think of is maybe she thought I was exaggerating what happened to my DD or she trusts the childminders word over mine who knows. I feel like the fact the childminder has chosen to shut down, without even having an inspection, is a huge red flag and suggests she knows she’s most likely fail it. Sad about my friend but not much I can do, such is life some people will choose to move on from you and there’s not a lot I can do.

Don’t worry OP, you definitely did the right thing . At least this incident has prevented other children being at risk. I’m glad to hear 🥰

You did the right thing

Yeah I can hand on heart say the childminder knew she would be pulled over the coals. I've had a malicious complaint in the past (a contractual dispute then they decided to make up a bizarre pack of lies) ofsted came, saw it was all rubbish and wrote off the complaint and I carried on with my head held high.

But you were there. If a potential customer visits with their parent, the childminder wouldn't be in charge of them? So playing devils advocate, she wouldn't have reacted to your child as DC is in your care? I would have been on it because I don't mind interfering when I think a child is doing something they shouldn't, in front of their parent, but many don't and wouldn't say anything. And now the childminders had to close, losing work before Christmas, because you didn't remove your child from a situation you weren't happy with. As PP said, it's no wonder childminders are leaving the profession in droves.

@ZoChan This occurred in the playroom, which the childminder allowed the dog to be in. A 10 month old isn’t able to know if they’re doing something “bad”. If the dog wasn’t safe for children to interact with then what on earth was it doing in the play room? Of course I assumed it was okay for my child to approach. If my child had been poking and prodding and annoying the dog and I’d done nothing then that would be a different story but all she did was crawl over and reach her arm out, that’s all it took for this dog to snap at her - it absolutely should not have been in the children’s space.

You absolutely did the right thing, and while your friend has been inconvenienced, it is possible that you have saved their child from potential harm.

This.
The dog had never met your DD whereas it had likely got used to the other children if they're regulars. Never assume that it's ok for a child to approach a dog and reach towards its face!
I would also say that had the dog been trying to bite your DD or be aggressive it would have broken the skin of her hand was in its mouth. It was probably trying to correct her to show it didn't like what she did.

That said, her lack of response is really bad - she should have apologised and explained, and reassured you that the dog is safe around children!

@edwardcullensotherwoman yes of course from now on I will be much more cautious with my child around dogs but I don’t think it was unreasonable of me to assume this dog was friendly and enjoyed being around children and babies seeing as it was literally in the children’s playroom. It was growling at the other children too so I don’t think it was that it wasn’t used to my child, I think it just did not like being around children. And yes in my previous posts I have rectified myself and said if the dog had actually wanted to bite my child it would have and it was more of a warning, but what happens when this dog is sick of giving warnings and actually bites a child? If she had tried to “reassure” me that the dog was safe around kids I’d have probably laughed in her face, it clearly was not safe around children at all.

Cats mouths are worse.