agency or internet?....

[ingles2]

so following on from this afternoons dramas do I
A/ get another AP from crappy and expensive agency
or
B/ take the plunge and try the internet?
Is anyone looking or interviewing on aupair world at the mo?

Internet everytime i'm on AP no 6 and have a hit rate of 5 good 1 crap! Best APs I have had have been German worst French. I use AP world just got an absolute gem.

I used the newaupair website. My AP had no real previous experience of looking after small children yet had sole care in her first family. We are her second. I would not - ever - recommend her for the care of young children. Mine are teenagers and she is ok with them, a bit too harsh often but ok. I don't know if that helps you at all, sorry.

I got a great German girl from aupairworld. It was second time lucky. Funnily enough, buckmums, my first aupair who was French did a runner just one week before she was due to start...

ingles2, you have to bevet carefully. Just be aware that there might be scammers eg ones in low cut tops or who ask for you to pay their flights upfront.

I try to reduce the risks by looking for ones with previous aupair experience in the UK, where I can call their previous family to chat (in English). If you live in or near London, you can pretty much pick and choose.

I would go back to expensive agency and demand replacement free of charge. If they refuse, I would cause them a lot of trouble with threatened legal action (if you have any grounds based on the contract with them).

If they don't assist you I woul go to greataupair.com and au pair world.

I hire nannies not au pairs but have always gotten them from the internet. I hate agencies. I have never used one, but have heard far too many stories similar to yours.

You might also post an ad on gumtree.com.

I have just hired a Polish nanny. This is her first nanny job. She was an au pair before. While it's a bit soon to judge, all evidence so far points to a fabulous nanny. Fingers crossed it continues...

My last nanny was very mediocre. A nice girl, but not really cut out to be a nanny.

So much of it is luck.

I agree with calling their previous family, too. When I did that (the circumstances for the ap needing to move from that family were, or sounded, genuine) the previous hostfamily mum said that the ap might be happier with older children (like mine). I don't know if she'd have said anything if mine had been the same age as hers as the ap is completely unsuitable for sole care of young children. I think she might have glossed over that just to hand the ap on to someone else tbh. If you are not having an immediate hand over from their family to yours, they should be more able to be truthful of course.

I absolutely agree with Ruby. A reference from a family who no long employs the au pair is far more credible than one where she currently works. The family where she works now might want to get rid of her or they might not want to upset her while she still has a key to their front door.

Thanks everyone,..
so I posted a quick profile on aupair - world dot net last night (is this a good one?)
and I've had 6 replies this morning already.
I'm just trying to write a web page to send out, but are there any things I should try and look out for? blueshoes mentioned scammers, I wouldn't fall for either of those things but is there anythng else I need to know?

Perhaps include "We do not require a driver because our last au pair totalled your car".

eleusis, can I post my questionnaire for prospective aupairs - which I adapted from your now legendary list - for ingles' webpage. Or do you want to do the honours?

LOL eleusis.... would love to, but don't think anyone would like to be our AP if they realise they need to walk 2 miles to the village!
please please please can I see your questionnaire... (simpering begging emoticon)

please blueshoes? xxxxxx

Of course you can. Feel free to post blueshoes.

2 miles to school? Is there a bus? What are you going to do? Do you have to buy a new car.

FFS I'd have a contract on this crappy au pair's life! (Okay, I wouldn't really) But you bet I'd go after her within the limits of the law.

Where is she from? Can she get deprted for this kind of behaviour?

okeydokey.

This is my endurance test for potential aupairs. Working in the blueshoes household is not for the fainthearted.

So if a candidate is (1) prepared to take the time to answer all my questions; and (2) provide promptly contact details of references, which I tell them I fully intend to call and speak to, then they are Deserving and worth taking to the next stage.

A scammer or someone who is not serious about aupairing is likely to fall at these 2 initial hurdles. Also, for references, previous school, holiday workplace or babysitting family or relative is well and good. But they can be easily faked, especially if they are not from UK. But what you really want, which is rare but worth recognising its weight in gold if you can get it, is the ability to talk to a previous English-speaking family that she worked as an aupair for, ideally one whose employ she has already left, as said before. Not so easy to fake that.

Off to find my list ...

Questionnaire for potential aupairs

1. Why do you want to become an Au Pair?

1. Why do you want to come to London? (Be alert if they say they came here to be with friends, rather than for the cultural exchange/learning experience.)

1. Do you have any friends/relatives in London or the UK?

1. If so, where do they live?

1. Have you looked after children before? If so what were their ages and were they boys or girls?

1. Have you had sole charge of a baby/toddler?

1. Have you changed nappies before?

1. What was your favourite part of looking after them?

1. What aspect of children?s behaviour do you not like?

10. If my daughter refuses to get dressed for school, how would you encourage her to speed up?

11. Can you describe the types of activities you did with them, particularly when they were below 5 years' of age?

12. What references you able to provide? Are they in English? Also, contact telephone numbers for these references. Do they speak English?

13. What activities/pastimes have you done in the last month?

14. Describe a project you have recently completed or are doing in the past month that you are proud of?

15. What do you plan to do in your spare time, evenings and weekends when you are with us?

16. Are your parents happy with your decision to become an Au Pair?

17. What do you plan to do after you finished au-pairing? (gap year good, drifting, not good)

18. What pocket money are you expecting? (This will be for 25 hours a week plus 2x a week babysitting.)

19. Do you have a UK bank account?

20. Do you have the funds for your flight to the UK?

21. Have you had any first aid training?

22. What food do you like?

23. What food do you not like?

24. Can you eat spicy food (like a hot curry)?

25. What is your favourite meal?

26. Do you have any allergies or health concerns?

27. Do you have any phobias?

28. Describe your health in the past year.

29. What is your current level of English - conversational and written? Can you, for example, chat on the phone, understand simple instructions?

30. Do you intend to take English language lessons when in UK?

31. Do you have a boyfriend? Don't need to answer if you feel this is private. (Having a boyfriend in hometown is not a good thing. Homesickness risk)

32. If you could have superpower (for example, fly like superman), what would that be? - so I can tell my daughter (Gives you an insight into her mind and lightens things up)

33. What interested you to the role we are offering?

34. Are there any aspects of the role that you need further explanation on?

I'm sorry, but what exactly were you drinking (smoking?) whe you wrote this? And can I have some of it????

32. If you could have superpower (for example, fly like superman), what would that be?

That's brilliant,..Thank you.
Well, I can either write the car off on the insurance as the insurance co say its £1200 worth of damage and the car is only worth that (the excess is £400) but then my premiums are going to be massive or a (probably dodgy) local guy can try and weld in a new side from another car for about £500... This is probably the option I'm going for cos I only put it through it's MOT last week, no problems really new tyres, lights etc... but what a bloody hassle!

eleusis, that was a suggestion from another mnetter. I believe the answer from an aupair later found to be thieving was that she liked to be invisible! The ones who answered it were quite good natured about it, like being a mermaid. All fun. Not compulsory BTW, ingles2, lol

I think I would like to have a special power that tells me what someone is really thinking when they are lying to me.

Oh well, who am I to talk. Princess Peahead describes my questions as "hideous".

ingles2, if you still have the appetite for a driving aupair, you will of course have to put a heap of questions in relating to driving.

If you want your aupair to walk 2 miles, you will have to clear that with her before you make an offer. My aupair has to walk 25 mins to dd's school and back (no buses), making it close to an hour's walking a day. The jury of mn felt that it was very individual to an aupair whether or not she would want to do it. So I laid it on thick and got the right girl for the job.

Nah, they've got to drive,...even I wouldn't want to walk 8 miles a day to school and back twice!
I'll have to stick in loads of questions about that and being in the middle of nowhere,..we're not really, only 10 mins from Tenterden sometimes it just seems like it...I've always paid for driving lessons here to begin with anyway.
Maybe I'll have to stick in...
You've crashed the car... what do you do?

You will find that aupairs who seem previously interested do melt away once you email them the list ie you suddenly don't hear from them. That could be a good thing - the last thing you want are time wasters who really have some other family in mind but are just talking to you as a back up.

In fact, ingles2, the most frustrating thing about using these websites is that, at ANY POINT along the screening/emailing process, Even If they clear the endurance tests, they might stop emailing or suddenly say they have chosen another family, even though you thought things were going swimmingly.

I would advise emailing a handful of candidates concurrently, rather than consecutively. And be quick off the mark, if you find someone good. Speak to the winning candidate over the phone at least once, just to get a feel for her personality and most importantly, their level of conversational English.

Good luck. A lot of it IS luck.

I think I need more than luck blueshoes.... I thin I need a bleedin' miracle
I've emailed about 5 potential au pairs now and not one has responded to the list of questions [gulp!]

ingles2, it is a nailbiting thing. I use the questionnaire to screen applicants because I get literally hundreds of responses. I think that is because I live in London, not for any other reason. They just see London and don't bother to read my requirements, so indicate interest even though the start date on their profile, say, is completely out. I don't contact those.

Only those whose profile are in line and which I like I send the questionnaire to, say, about 5-10 candidates. I will be lucky if half reply, usually not at once.

Have you had more interest to your ad? The alternative is to send an email giving them more details about yourself, eg link to webpage and ask if they are still interested. If they reply, you can then pick up the phone and get their responses by phone to a shortened version of your questionnaire. Of course, this presupposes their standard of conversational English is quite high- which is a very good thing to have esp if you want to be able to instruct your aupair over the phone.

It is more timeconsuming and costly but you get to where you need quickly.

When do you want your aupair to start?