Should childminder be expected to help with potty training?

[LuckyFlash]

My DC is 2 and a bit. We’re not quite ready for potty training yet but thinking about it. When we first met our childminder I asked about potty training and she said she likes parents to start it off and then she will carry it on.

I had a brief chat with her about DC showing signs of interest in the potty. She said when we want to do it I need to take a couple of weeks off work and do the potty training and then bring him back when it’s properly established as she doesn’t have time to potty train with all the children she looks after.

she has 4/5 pre schoolers during the day and lots of school children pre and post school plus the school run so I get that it would be a challenge but I was really surprised that she wants nothing to do with it.

DC goes to her 4 days a week so is with her a lot of the time. Obviously there is also no guarantee that we would crack it in 2 weeks if I could take that time off work!

is this normal? I feel like it should be expected that a childminder should have to help with potty training but maybe I’m being unreasonable?

I understand both sides but honestly it would be really difficult for the CM and your child as there would be far more likely to have accidents which is incredibly inconvenient and not nice for the other kids or yours. I think expecting you to get your child in a pattern is right .

2 weeks seems a lot - our childminder asked us to keep our daughter home for a week to start potty training and I was fine with that, it made sense to me. We did it over Easter and by the time she went back she was fully potty trained. So I'd say starting off at home with some time off seems pretty reasonable (to me anyway) but I do think 2 weeks is a bit much! Could you coincide it with a time when the childminder is closed anyway - holidays etc?

Potty training is hard enough with one child-let alone running around after 4 other preschoolers. I would do start doing it over a summer holiday for you so the bulk of the training is done.

Different setting but our nursery won't help with potty training although obviously they support it by taking children to the potty etc once they're trained. The actual training people have to do at home, usually over Easter or a bank holiday weekend in my experience

How is she allowed 5 pre schoolers at the same time?

My CM does help with potty training but she has 3 kids max and no after school kids.

My CM helped with potty training my DD.

She helps all children she looks after with potty training simply because she has noticed over the years that peer pressure gets them to potty train quicker and when they are around 2 rather than 3.

Plus she has more experience than most parents e.g. over 30 years if her own children are included.

-Siblings

-Own child as one of the children

• Wrap around care for those doing their 30 hours elsewhere

• Continuity of care

It's allowed but the CM needs to show she can manage them.

If you dedicate two weeks to potty training and your child isn't most of the way there they weren't ready to start with.

Wait until they're ready and a week off work will be plenty, with two weekends it gives you nine days, that's plenty.

I ask parents to do a week at home and then I carry on here if the child is ready. That’s quite common for settings to ask. I have multiple children here of a similar age, I just don’t have the time to clean frequent accidents nor sit them
on the potty every 20 minutes (the latter isn’t great for potty training anyway). At the end of the day, it’s my home which I want to protect as much as possible and it’s not great for the other kids taking into consideration health and hygiene and also the time I have to take away from them whilst I deal with puddles and soiled pants. It also makes trips out a lot more awkward until the child is, at least a little, established

If a child is ready it's done in a few days

If takes A couple of weeks they are not ready

A cm should support but ideally better for you to start

So if does 4 days mon to thur

Start Fri sat sun and maybe have 2 days off next week

But again as above if hasn't cracked it in 3 days then not ready and stop and wait a few months

If child is ready showing signs as listed on NHS website it generally takes 3 to 5 days to be relatively dry and asking for potty unfortunately many try too early linking to age not readiness, train naked then wonder why it goes to pot in childcare, put child on every 20 to 30 minutes after the first few days and say child is dry when actually they are just wee catching, say they are training but keep putting nappies on etc.
I ask that it's started at home over a week then if progress is made and child is asking for potty I continue with pull ups over pants until child has adjusted to being in a setting with lots of activities and competition for toys to distract them.

A week seems reasonable, I'm not sure why she thinks it would need 2 weeks. After about 3-4 days you'll know if he's cracked it, although as with most children he's likely to still have accidents initially no matter when you send him back as it will be a different environment and he will be more distracted.

Mine was about 2 years 2 months and was very ready so it took a day!

Other friends kids have also varied from 1 day to 10 months!

I'd say book a week off that fits with your own plans and make sure dd is ready as can be, so familiar with potty/ sitting on it etc BUT even then there's no guarantee it would work. Then for some there is re training with pants on.

I can see why CM is saying this it's a massive chore for some parents however 2 weeks AL is a lot. Maybe do it using a bank holiday too so less AL.

We started it over an Easter weekend and took a couple of extra days off, and then nursery carried on. So somewhere between the two. Two weeks off for it sounds ridiculous. Maybe she's pitching high because she's had parents expect her to do it all.

Two weeks is too much, but one week at home is pretty normal.

With my DD I did it over a week at home as my childminder said similar; I was a bit surprised by her attitude but as we were coming to th summer when I had a week off I didn’t think too much of it.
With my DS I did it over a 3 day weekend and the childminder helped when he went back with stickers to encourage him

I think a week off would be very reasonable. I can't see how anyone could potty train and look after more than that child's siblings really. Just the staying at home for several days drove me mad, and that was only with the PT 2 year old and a 4 year old.

Nurseries and pre schools do carry on potty training and I think it’s unrealistic to ask parents to take a week or two off of work for potty training.
Start once your child is ready and it won’t take long like others have mentioned. Start at the very beginning of a weekend so they’ve got the jist of it before going to CM.
You really shouldn’t need to take time off for it.

I don't think I know anyone who has taken two weeks off work to stay home and potty train! Most have done it over a long weekend that has naturallly occured around the right time. Also it's very common for kids to be largely potty trained at home but then have to adjust to a new place.

DD toilet trained at home quickly over a long weekend, but the first couple of weeks of nursery she had more accidents as it's a different environment, she was getting engaged in activities, the toilet was in a different place, etc. and that's totally normal and nursery expected it (and asked me to send lots of changes of clothing for the first few weeks!). So I think the childminder is almost certainly going to have to deal with some level of accidents when you have freshly toilet trained children of that age and do some level of helping carry on things.

I understand her not wanting to take on a child that is in the thick of toilet training, like day 2 or something, but two weeks is excessive IMO.

I always ask parents to start at home for about a week- over a holiday or something- then I'll carry on. If your child isn't showing any signs of knowing they need the potty and is still having constant accidents after 2 weeks, then they're not ready.
Potty training is stressful at the best of times, so if you chuck a few other children into the mix it can be a nightmare especially if there are accidents to clean up all the time.

Hey OP, I've only potty trained one child but he was very ready (which is important!) and went from 100% nappies to 100% trained in 3 days.

As prep, we read Pirate Pete with him a lot, got him a potty that he loved sitting on, got a kids seat for the big toilet as well for him to try out.

We had one pack of brown chocolate buttons (for poops) and white chocolate (for wees) and he got a treat for every try...

Took his pants off one sunny Friday morning and he wore tops only the whole weekend (nappies at night still though). Kept checking in every hour if he wanted to try to sit on the potty. Kept a vigilant eye on him the whole time, and moved him to the potty as soon as he was fidgety - this is the bit that's really hard for the busy CM!

I think it's not unreasonable for your CM to say she can't help with other kids to look after; but she is unreasonable for specifying 2 weeks off. It shouldn't need that long to get your child trained if they are actually ready.

From what I read, the big mistakes are (a) trying too early, before they are interested/excited, and before they understand what you want from them; and (b) telling off for mistakes - that just makes them afraid. If you praise them instead for trying, that keeps things fun and keeps them motivated.

Wish you the best of luck!

We did it over a weekend. As a pp said, it was a matter of waiting till he was ready, and he got it immediately. Was reliably dry in the daytime after that weekend, and I think we stopped using night time nappies within a week or ten days. DS was fully two and a half, though.

Few children are dry enough to go in pants after 48 hours I've known a handful in 30 years I'd do it on the August bank holiday or take a couple of days in the summer. I'd talk to your childminder and plan a good time for everyone especially as childminders tend to do outings in the school holidays so it's not easy to be doing toilet stops around a farm or similar over half an hour.

Op does your cm agree your child is ready? Some parents want to do it way before a child is ready insist on starting then expect weeks or longer of child messing in CMS home making it a welfare issue for other children being around the mess and taking all the CMS attention which is not fair on the other children and against Ofsted rules. You can't care for a child who prevents you meeting others needs.