How much would you pay a friend?

[Cloxs]

I’m in a bit of a predicament in knowing how much to pay a mum friend for childcare. We tried nursery but it didn’t work and I’m really happy with LO being there as she is with friends 2 DCs of a similar age.

problem is she won’t be direct with pay - one min she says she doesn’t want paying (obviously I wouldn’t ever do that), then it feels like whatever I offer is a bit off - other childminders in the area are around £6.50 which seems low. But I want to have an hourly pay which isn’t insulting. What would you offer? It’s one half day a week at the moment

Nursery in the area is £5.50 per hour as well just for reference.

£25 for half a day is pretty in line with nursery costs. Why do you want to pay her hourly?

@GoodChat - I don’t really know. More than nursery - so maybe £35/40 for half day / 1-5. Is that reasonable?

How many hours will she be looking after your child and will she be feeding them. I had a family member help me with childcare for a few hours a week and they wouldn’t accept money so I used to get £20 a week vouchers from the supermarket she shops. I think £25 for an afternoon is fine.

I wouldn't do this arrangement with my friend tbh.

I don’t think you are allowed to pay her at all if she is looking after your child in her house but is not a registered childminder.

https://www.lambeth.gov.uk/children-young-people-and-families/childcare-options/your-childcare-options/childminders#:~:text=Unregistered%20childcare&text=All%20childminders%20must%20be%20registered,could%20be%20breaking%20the%20law.

I think £25 would be about right.

If she isn't a proper, licensed childcare provider and is not looking after your child in your home then I would check where you stand legally by paying her.

If she is a registered childminder, the going rate. If she isn't, find one.

She needs to be registered to look after a child for more than 2 hours per day & get paid. If you use unregistered childcare remember you have none of the safeguards in place that would be expected with a registered childminder or nursery - no CBS/PVG checks, no public liability insurance, not covered for travel in car if being paid ( need business insurance), ssues with HMRC if she is being paid & not declaring as self employed (which she can't do if not registered) or of you are employing her then you will be liable for NI/sick pay etc.

Yes, she’s registered childminder.

Then you pay her the going rate.

Then pay her the going rate, youre using 1 of her spaces which are small in no.

Well £40 would be almost minimum wage

If she's a registered childminder pay her going rate

I think if it’s too uncomfortable for you to be able to have an open and up front conversation about her expectation especially given that she is an actual childminder so will have one then you probablY shouldn’t get into this arrangement with her at all

Cool. Thanks for everyone’s input. I’ll work it out.

A cm who doesn't want paying ?

Why doesn't she want the going rate

You are using one of her spaces

Is she heck!

She has 2 dc of a similar age plus your child means that is all her spaces gone and you say she doesn't want paying? Bollocks.

@KateyCuckoo I literally have no idea what this means.

You said she's a registered childminder? What mindees does she look after? None by the sounds of it.

Oh come off it, people have been paying neighbours, aunties and friends to help mind kids since the industrial revolution! It may not be declared to HMRC etc, but it happens.

I can't imagine any registered setting will be willing to take a child for a half session per week, it's just not worth the paperwork.

Just be sure that neither of you are resentful of the money OP and crack on.

Is she a childminder currently taking a break from working? If so she might feel like she doesn't want you to pay her as she then has to work properly e.g. Eyes records etc Whereas she just wants to babysit and be surrogate mum for a few hours. If the latter maybe the offer of a supermarket voucher each week would be preferable. If you trust her to look after your child then you can have this chat. 'Every time I bring up money you are a little evasive.....I don't want to make you uncomfortable but I do realise this is a big thing agreeing to have her every week. And I would like to reward you or I feel I am taking advantage. If you would like some cash then great, alternatively what about a supermarket vouchers each week? If so what supermarket do you use?' as for amount maybe less than a childminder if she is babysitting.

Nice idea! thank you 🙏

@Mumdiva99 and yes - spot on - not actively working but registered and doing it as a favour. Will chat to her about it

@Mortgageportgage will do!