Is it OK to hire a babysitter (nursery staff) to do pick-up, bed-time and an extra hour or two?

[DaddingIt]

Hello,

Our daughter's (2y) old nursery key-worker (she's moved up to the next room now) is offering babysitting and has done this for lots of other parents (I'm not asking about whether that's OK as other threads have answered that part).

I'm specifically wondering whether its OK to hire her to do childcare all the way from pick-up to bed-time and an hour or two after (e.g. 5:30 pick-up, 7:30 bed-time look after the little one till 9:30).

I already talked to her about this and she seemed OK with it but I'm not sure she would be one to say no. So I was hoping to get a few more opinions from parents and babysitters/nursery staff about whether this is OK? She would have already worked a full day-shift by this point.

Also is this something that should be paid more than the normal rate, I'm also thinking of letting her place a Deliveroo order on us.

Please share your thoughts.

Thanks!

As a one off or regularly?

Is it a one off? Then I'd say yes.

As a one off or a regular thing?

I was thinking semi-regularly (probably every 2 weeks or so).

As a one off thing yes, regularly no get a nanny.

for more context, we won't likely hire her for more than 1 sit, max 2 a week, and such a longer sit will only happen once every 2 weeks, the others will either be pick-up till bed-time (~1.5h), or after bed-time (~2.5h)

Semi-regularly I think no, you need a nanny or a separate baby sitter. It’s not fair on the nursery worker.

This sounds like a regular arrangement.

No that's not fair on her after doing a full day shift.
You need a nanny or a different sitter.

Does she not have other things to do once the children leave for the day. Write notes, tidy away toys etc?

How is it not fair on the nursery worker if she is offering her services? Surely she can decide what hours she is willing to take on?

Surely its up to the babysitter how often they want to babysit? They may need or want the extra income hence offering the service.

If the nursery allows them to pick up then thats fine.

@MrsLilaAmes - because OP says the nursery worker is not one to say no, which sounds like she could feel pressured to accept.

I am stereotyping here but nursery workers tend to be younger and they may not feel able to say no to parents who are clients of their workplace for fear of a bad atmosphere etc. The nursery workers at my sons nursery are lovely and I can easily see how’d they’d feel pressured if a parent asked them this.

OP you need to find a nanny or a regular babysitting service.

She may have duties after her shift like tidying the provision or doing assessments so may not be ‘available’ to do paid on work time. How would she watch your child from pick up time if she has this to do?

*paid babysitting- that should say

My daughters key worker used to do this occasionally at her suggestion. I was going to pick up before babysitting but she said she didn’t mind bringing our daughter home too. She babysat once a month for us when I had an evening meeting.

@kingsparkle I think that’s quite infantilizing to be honest. If the nursery worker is old enough, mature enough and sensible enough to be trustworthy looking after your child at nursery, and to be considered as a suitable babysitter, it should be possible to trust her to set her rates and her hours reasonably too.

If you’re concerned to avoid being pushy OP you can ask lots of open questions- what’s the earliest/latest you would be comfortable working? What responsibilities do you have at the end of your nursery shift/when would you be available afterwards? How regularly would you feel comfortable babysitting? Etc. Or you could say ‘Using a babysitter is a new thing to me, so please always be very honest about what works for you and tell me no if you need to. I don’t want to accidentally be cheeky!’ I think that would be respecting her agency and giving her room to set her own terms.

Think about how you would feel looking after a room full of screaming toddlers all day, then going and looking after another one for 4 hours. Then getting in a car and getting home at around 10 at a guess and getting up to start at 9am the next day (presumably).

I doubt you’ll be able to bring your A game. You’ll be tired. You might feel snappy.

It’s a balancing act because on the plus side your little one already knows this carer and that is a great benefit. But weekly or twice weekly sounds like way too much to me. Maybe once a month or fortnight, and could you also consider making it shorter?

@MrsLilaAmes - I am just going by my experience. There are lots of people who struggle to set boundaries as they want to please, doesn’t make them bad at their job. I work with quite a lot of young people and confidence in putting in boundaries particularly with clients and senior staff members is something we have to work on with them. It’s not infantilising to recognise power dynamics in a workplace.

I needed an operation once that meant I had to go to hospital before nursery opened for drop off (no other childcare) so the manager who lived at the end of my road took the kids and dropped them off as a favour.

She made it very clear due to insurance etc she was doing it as a friend with a favour NOT as a member of staff as the relationship/insurance etc completely changes once outside of nursery - and it was too risky to seek payment and muddy things.

You may find that your nursery worker feels similar as it's not clear cut - finishing work and then coming to your house to babysit is a v different proposition than bringing your daughter home and caring for her for the journey etc.

Why not fair - she can say no if she wants?? Lots of people have jobs that require them to work 9am - 7/8pm?

Ask her maybe by text sk she isn't pressured and say fine to say no if tired or busy

So she had a get out Clause

For those saying get a nanny. What's e diff for a nursery worker to babysit or a nanny

Both would have worked with children all day

No, it’s not infantilising to be aware @Kingsparkle, nor to make it clear they can say no.

But to refuse to offer work at all for fear of accidentally putting pressure on the worker isn’t great for the worker either. They end up with no work and no money. 🤷‍♀️

Exactly.

Hard to get a nanny to work 2 hours per day, most importantly! This set up makes sense & I wish my child's nursery offered it

@MrsLilaAmes - I understand what you are saying and I am not saying never ask her, but if this thread is anything to go by and OP approached her asking if she could do some babysitting, and it turns out she wants a regular arrangement twice a week, I can see how it would be difficult for the nursery worker to say no. There are a lot of threads oh here with people who struggle to say no to much less. I think the OP is asking for too much and I can see how/why it would be difficult for the nursery worker to say no, that’s all.