Should children go to nursery?

[hippygirllucky]

My daughter is currently looked after by her grandparents while my husband and I work. I'm beginning to wonder whether she would benefit from nursery, and whether she will be at a disadvantage when she reaches school if she hasn't attended nursery? In terms of not having had a structured beginning to education?

I think it depends on the grandparents....are they actively involved? Do they do messy play and give experiences like toddler groups or library story times? Will they actively encourage independence like self dressing?

I think that after about 3, preschools/ nursery are good. If its part of the school they are going to,even better.

Saying that my eldest niece went to nursery at 4 months.
She has a fabulous relationship with her parents and is now studying for a PhD.

Your choices will be judged.. sahm, or back to work..
If you know your children you will be fine.

Mine went from being a baby - in terms of benefits I noticed from about 2.5 years. Confidence with other children, staying still in groups for books etc. I would think once 15 hours free kick in if you start them then (3 years) that would work really well

If I hadn't had to due to no alternative I wouldn't have until 2.5/3 years :)

Imho people are brainwashed into thinking their child will do better away from their families. 'socialisation' they call it. It's claimed those kids do better when they start school - that may well be true - after all they're accustomed to spending part of the day in an institution with regimented routines and being looked after by staff.

Whether that's better for the child than bring cared for by loving family, developing precious bonds and having the freedom to explore what interests them is debatable. It depends on what the grandparents are offering and to what degree they're willing to provide stimulation and support DCs interests.

Basildeleaf

I agree. It's a very Western notion that children need formal childcare in order to develop. A bit like the fed is best mantra, surely loved is best...

The thing is, a lot of people have no choice, so it's difficult to talk about the subject without sounding judgemental. But in my opinion, if it's possible, all other things being equal, small children should be cared for by people who love them.

@Basildeleaf i agree with some of what you’ve said but it’s not all or nothing. The fact is that when kids start school they have no choice but to spend 5 days a week away from their parents “in an institution with regimented routines”.

Imo it’s kinder to the child to build up to that gradually by sending them to preschool for a few hours a day from
when they are about 3. Starting say with 2 mornings a week and building up to 3-5. In this scenario they’d still be spending the vast majority of their time with family.

The alternative is throwing them into it at a point when they also need to navigate the educational demands of reception.

For babies/toddler I absolutely agree that family care is best.

I work nights. DD is 2.5 and doesn’t go to nursery because I look after her in the day and dh takes over when he gets home. I will send her at three when we get the free hours. We go to a play group on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday and I volunteer at all three so she gets to be there most of the morning ( with other volunteer children) rather than the hour it runs from. Tuesday is soft play or a music class and Thursday singing and books at the library. I don’t think they need to go before three but obviously time will tell. I do worry she might get told off when she eventually starts as she’s not very good at sitting still. She’s quite advanced with her speech, counting and things like that so not worried about much else.
Are the grandparents taking her to any groups op? I see a lot of grandparents at groups but some may not know what’s on if they don’t use social media etc

You don’t need it now but I’d definitely plan to use the funded hours from 3+. It’s great preparation for school and the socialisation is really important. Depends what the GPs are like but I’d maybe think about starting from 2-2.5 if they’re the type to stay home and struggle to be active. If they’re taking LO to lots of classes and getting out daily though then no need and I would wait until 3.

Mine only went to nursery when their funding started at 3. When mine were little the funding was for 3hrs each day and both really benefitted from this.

I have a couple of friends who are Primary 1 teachers and they said they can tell the children who have been to nursery as they are more independent and sociable and used to routines of nursery which eases them into school.

My 2 sons did 2 sessions a week, one morning, one afternoon and given the choice would have stayed with me or grandparents, but we felt they needed to go. Neither really enjoyed nursery, but it did help that they knew quite a few children when they started reception.

By 2.5 yes, but you could use a nursery school and have the grandparents do the rest of it (if they’re up for it), or use full nursery for some days and gps for some. (Lucky you on the GPS)

on the whole I think yes nursery is beneficial.
I had one child who went at 18 months and one who went after 2 and I think the 2 year old was behind.

are they grandparents who just watch the child or are they active with groups and things they do with her- if the latter then nursery may not be an important.

Why don't you send her to nursery when she's 3 and 4 years old, for her funded hours. Grandparents can drop off and collect and get a little break.

Mine only went to nursery for their two years funded hours. DN didn't go to nursery at all and all are doing fine at school.

I would consider a dc not going to nursery the same as home schooling- nothing wrong with it, if done well but deviating from the norm and potentially disadvantaging.

@Aphrathestorm there is a difference though between a School Nursery Class from age 3 (which is actually year 1 of the two years of Early Years Foundation Stage) and a daycare nursery.
Before EYFS (ie education) it's daycare so you can't compare it to "home schooling".
I used to help out as a parent in my daughters nursery class and reception class. We sometimes did things like walk up to the local shops, garden centre or library - the children who had been in daycare type nursery before age 3 had often never been to any of those shops or the library (5 minutes away from the school in a small catchment area).
It's important that before the age of 3 children do 'life' activities.

My eldest was looked after by grandparents from 9 months - 3 years 5 days a week, then she did 3 days at nursery at 2 at grandparents until she went to school at 4.
We are doing the same with my second, although I have dropped hours slightly so I can do schools drop offs and 2 pick ups a week.
She enjoyed nursery and learned lots but I think the relationship she has now with both sets of grandparents is so important. Plus, they really want(ed) to spend that time with their grandchildren. We were incredibly lucky to have such support, as full time nursery plus wraparound school clubs would cost us £1600+ a month. Hardly worth me going to work for.
I suppose it depends on your own circumstances and what she gets from her grandparents vs nursery and also your financial position.

I would as a minimum consider putting her into half day nursery for the year prior to school starting. Both of mine did 3 hours a day each morning from 3.5. Full time isn't necessary if you have good childcare arrangements and a school part time place should be free