Page 5 | Leaving 6-year-old home alone

Tailfeather · 2023-04-11T19:22:59+00:00

Would you leave your sensible 6-year-old home alone for 10 minutes with strict instructions of watching tv and not eating or going into the kitchen?

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BendingSpoons · 13/04/2023 06:50

My DD is 7. I definitely wouldn't leave her home alone. Realistically she would be fine but if something went wrong, she is still a young child and wouldn't know how to cope. I have been debating what freedom I can give her e.g. walking to the toilet by herself when we are out somewhere and they are out of sight. Tbf I wasn't allowed home alone or to go to the local shop by myself until about 9, and definitely not off on tubes etc, so it's not that different from my upbringing.

We have family in Germany. They allow their kids to walk to school from 6. They allow their 7 and 9yo to go to the park together (10 min walk away through a quiet village). They have left the children at home in bed to drive to the station and back (20-25 mins trip). I'm fascinated by the cultural differences in what is acceptable.

TeenDivided · 13/04/2023 06:55

Yes if they were nearer 7 than 6 and I was for example just next door, depending on the child.

My DD2 would have stayed in front of the TV for 2hrs without budging to watch a film.
I wouldn't have left DD1 until quite a bit older.

Oneglassisnotenough · 13/04/2023 07:00

Never

AnxiousPixie · 13/04/2023 07:14

I sometimes go across our field to deal with livestock (max 300m from the house and they know where I am). 8yo. I wouldn't pop to the shop in the car or be somewhere so far away they couldn't shout for me. Mine are very sensible tho. So I think it depends a lot on the child and what you were doing in your 10minutes. I am pretty sure that when my husband looks after them solo he has locked himself in the bathroom for poo's that took longer than 10 minutes since they were tiny!

SacreBleugh · 13/04/2023 07:40

Tailfeather · 11/04/2023 20:32

Thanks all. That's my strong gut feeling too. But wondered if I was overreacting as I was definitely left home alone for short periods of time at that age and stuff I've been reading online said an absolute NO for leaving toddlers and babies (obvs!) and recommends not leaving under 12s for long periods of time, which made it sound that a few minutes was fine. By 8 I was going on the tube with friends on our own! But that was the 80s.

In the 1980s? Knock yourself out. No bother at all. Now? Absolutely not.

Okunevo · 13/04/2023 07:47

I left DS, as in he couldn't have just come and found me, but had a phone, for an hour at 8. This was in line with ss guidelines where we lived. There was nowhere, aside from getting a parcel from a neighbour, I'd have gone in 10 minutes. I'd just have taken him with me before I was happy to leave him for an hour as I could be easily held up, car not start or something.

JussathoB · 13/04/2023 08:27

6 is a bit young to leave alone at home probably. However I’m a bit concerned by MN posters who seem to think that going into your own garden means leaving your child alone at home and is wrong. This just has to be an exaggeration!
Babies and toddlers clearly need to be closely supervised all the time, but older children should usually be okay to not be being watched for short periods eg a five or six year old playing with toys in one room while parent is in another room nearby. Ofc it does depend on the child and some children have special needs or behaviour which might mean there are more safety concerns than average. But generally going into your own garden for a short while does not mean you have ‘left your child home alone’. They can shout for you or come find you, you can pop back in to check etc.

iwantawisteriathisyear · 13/04/2023 09:14

Littleelffriend · 13/04/2023 06:45

@iwantawisteriathisyear what were they charged with?

Child neglect

Okunevo · 13/04/2023 20:12

@JussathoB I think the 10 minute time has confused the matter as there are few places to go and be back in 10 minutes. Drive three minutes to the supermarket to buy milk maybe? The 10 minutes is not guaranteed though, there could easily be a hold up.

I think location is more important, so at a corner shop a three minute walk down the road, at a neighbour's, elsewhere on a rural property, is different to being a three minute drive away in my opinion. I wouldn't do the latter until I was happy to leave the child for an hour in case of a delay.

JussathoB · 13/04/2023 22:01

Okunevo · 13/04/2023 20:12

@JussathoB I think the 10 minute time has confused the matter as there are few places to go and be back in 10 minutes. Drive three minutes to the supermarket to buy milk maybe? The 10 minutes is not guaranteed though, there could easily be a hold up.

I think location is more important, so at a corner shop a three minute walk down the road, at a neighbour's, elsewhere on a rural property, is different to being a three minute drive away in my opinion. I wouldn't do the latter until I was happy to leave the child for an hour in case of a delay.

I agree, you are onto something here. If you left your child, it’s always possible you might get held up. So many variables … the personality of the child, their experiences, the surroundings, the length of time, and what to do if something unexpected happens.
Theres no one size fits all. I guess that’s why we know it’s risky to leave young children unsupervised.
On the other hand, as children get older they do need to gradually snd appropriately learn to cope with situations without always having mum or dads eyes on them.