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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Live in Nanny

35 replies

Winniethepig · 23/03/2023 04:34

So we have a live in nanny / au pair, and while she is nice enough she is starting to get on my nerves a bit. We just don't have the right personality set up and she keeps doing weird things like gravitating towards mg husband to ask him things and keeps calling him "love".

I don't want her living with us anymore but live out isn't an option for her and she doesn't know anyone, have any friends here or any life skills (she's mid 20's) but a bit hopeless with most things.

What would be a reasonable departure package? She's out here on a working Visa and has 10 months left.

Any advice welcome x

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MumOf2workOptions · 25/03/2023 15:55

@Winniethepig

My friend has a live in nanny but she has a totally separate annexe on the house so she doesn't bother anyone else at all after about 5:30 doesn't eat with them or anything else and comes and goes as she pleases

She works Monday to Friday 7-5:40 ISh and any evenings are extra as are any weekends but she's usually travelling places on a weekend seeing friends etc

I would only have one if they were totally separate to the family

Whatifthegrassisblue · 26/03/2023 06:10

I think the problem is an Au Pair isn't really a live in nanny and it can be risky. Usually these are people who are wanting to travel and are doing childcare on the side as a means to have somewhere to live so their priority isn't really the children, unlike an actual nanny. Also often they're not used to living away from home and are quite young which explains so many of the poor experiences (that's what I've been told anyway, an Au Pair is very much a hit and miss situation)

Original poster
Winniethepig · 26/03/2023 08:19

Whatifthegrassisblue · 26/03/2023 06:10

I think the problem is an Au Pair isn't really a live in nanny and it can be risky. Usually these are people who are wanting to travel and are doing childcare on the side as a means to have somewhere to live so their priority isn't really the children, unlike an actual nanny. Also often they're not used to living away from home and are quite young which explains so many of the poor experiences (that's what I've been told anyway, an Au Pair is very much a hit and miss situation)

This is kind of a half half, a nanny from the US who has come to us as an Au Pair. Maybe the lines are more blurred or the situation is more complicated but still.

The girl is sat giggling about with my husband while we wrestle the children and waits to be fed.

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 26/03/2023 10:40

How did you get a visa for a U.S. nanny to come to the U.K.? (Just interested!)

Original poster
Winniethepig · 26/03/2023 11:50

underneaththeash · 26/03/2023 10:40

How did you get a visa for a U.S. nanny to come to the U.K.? (Just interested!)

Dual nationality with Canada, don't think she could have done it just being from the US.

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underneaththeash · 26/03/2023 19:11

Ah - that makes sense. I still think she’ll find something else very quickly - they only get one tier 5 visa per lifetime, so she may find another family who she’s more compatible with, some families like doing everything with their au pairs.!

Original poster
Winniethepig · 26/03/2023 23:14

underneaththeash · 26/03/2023 19:11

Ah - that makes sense. I still think she’ll find something else very quickly - they only get one tier 5 visa per lifetime, so she may find another family who she’s more compatible with, some families like doing everything with their au pairs.!

Thanks, definitely, we're in a large city so I think it should be fine. Set on it now so need to be clear and genuine with her.

She'll get work so will offer two months notice or offer two months pay and her flight home.

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Original poster
Winniethepig · 27/03/2023 07:17

Delighted to say its worked out somewhat, had a nice conversation and a very honest one and said we can't do longer and she's agreed and asked for an extra month, which we have agreed to.

I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders.

She's going in July and we'll have her nanny our toddlers until she goes. Then they'll be in nursery.

She took it well (I think)...

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Blondeshavemorefun · 27/03/2023 13:27

So you have to put up with her for another 3mths yet struggled with her for 2mths

So you re doubling and over her time with you

Far better to call quits now. And pay her off

Sure she will annoy you for the next 3mths

Lifeisalearningcurve · 27/03/2023 14:23

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