So against all my better judgement (see earlier threads) I am preparing to CONSIDER a nanny with her own child, please advise me what to think about...

[flowerybeanbag]

Having started a thread bemoaning the fact that a seemingly good candidate suddenly announced as we were arranging an interview that she would need to bring her child with her, I am considering a different nanny who will want to do the same.

Despite initial instincts that this arrangement wouldn't work for us I am considering it this time because -

1.The nanny in question was extremely up front about it from the start. Always a winner with me.
2.Her child is almost the exact same age as DS.
3.She acknowledged immediately that I would have concerns and wants the opportunity to address them. Good attitude.
4.She's very experienced.
5.I'm desperate, no one else wants to work for me.

I need to know what to consider, so far I have the following on a list of things to iron out.

How will she take both children out walking or in car, we have no double buggy, only one car seat, need to hear her proposal for this.
What or how much other equipment will we need to store for her child?
What about routines for two children if they don't coincide?
Where will her child nap?
What food does her child eat - DS is BLW so he doesn't do purees or anything.

Is there anything else I need to worry about/consider?

TIA

stairdemon that's a good point never even thought what happens if her child is injured..

hatwoman I am fairly laid back about cheese on toast etc . I do see the benefits in having another child for DS to interact with regularly. I agree with your point about paying for activities, absolutely if there was something expensive I wanted DS to go to I would expect to at least contribute, certainly wouldn't want her DC to be excluded.

I did think about what if she (or I!) have another baby, and when DS and her DC get a bit older - they don't live that nearby so schools etc would be impossible.

I can see people would be much more likely to be happy with this situation where they already employ and are happy with the nanny in question. Hmmmm.. it's a tricky one!

thanks so much all

rather than looking at the situation as being primarily about the extra child I'd still recommend going with your gut reaction about the nanny - all the same things you'd think about if she didn;t have a child - is her "style" similar to yours?is she easy to talk to? is she warm and affectionate? does she have initiative? do you think she'd take pointers/guidance well?personally if she ticks all the boxes you woudl normally be looking for then I think you have someone with whom you could work it out. If you don;t have a good gut feeling about her as a person, then you'll come up against the same problems you would come up against if she didn;t have a child, except worse, and with some more besides...

That's absolutely right hatwoman. I am meeting her first without her child for that reason, then if all the other boxes are ticked at that point, we'll see about working it out as a possibility.

How's the nanny-hunt flowerybeanbag? Did you like latest nanny-with-child?

ooh hi millarkie, just saw this coming through active convos and thought 'ooh that's my thread!'

Nanny hunt not going fantastically well unfortunately. I'm seeing the one with the baby same age as DS tomorrow night, so fingers crossed. Seeing her without baby first, so we'll see.

Couple of other possibles from an agency, one only available afternoons, not really what I want, and another one whose working in a nursery at the moment, haven't seen her details yet.

I've reposted on gumtree (again) and have also on recommendation of Shiny, put myself on nannyselect as well.

Here's hoping!

Will cross my fingers for you! Good luck.

Thanks!

Soon as I find someone no doubt I will be on here dancing for joy/sighing with relief!

Update - we saw the nanny with child, without her child, last night. I liked her a lot, I think I would trust her with DS and I think she's probably a really good nanny.

BUT it was really disappointing. I said 'I've mentioned before that I had concerns about having a nanny who wanted to bring her own child, and I've turned down other candidates for that reason. Have you thought about what you think the main challenges of that situation would be and how you would address them?'

I thought that was the obvious question that she would be expecting to be asked, given she already knew I was a bit iffy about it. But she hadn't thought about it, she just thought 'oh well it would be fine, people manage with twins all the time'. She mentioned routines but didn't think it would matter at all if the babies didn't sleep or eat at the same time. I prompted her about logistics, equipment for her child. She said she brings high chair wherever she goes anyway, so that's fine, and obviously it would mean a double buggy which is a bit harder to manage than one (er, where is this double buggy coming from and it is being stored in my hallway along with single buggy all week?), and her DD 'sleeps anywhere' when away from home so that's not a problem.

I prompted her to think about what issues she thinks could arise now or in future from looking after her own child while at work looking after an employer's child - it's possibly not the same as being nanny for a family with two children. She couldn't see any potential issues. My DH asked her what difference was she finding between looking after an employer's child as she has done lots before and looking after her own child which she is doing now for the first time. None, apparently.

Of course I realise all these potential problems, logistical and otherwise, are mine as well if I were to choose to employ her, but I was just really disappointed that she hadn't thought about it, wasn't prepared for it, and even when prompted, couldn't see that any of the potential issues you have all highlighted above could arise.

My instincts about her as a person and a nanny were good, but my instincts about how she'd manage this situation were poor, because she just didn't seem to have even thought about it and wouldn't acknowledge that there might be difficulties for her and me.

Arrrrgggghh!

AND I've had another cv in from my ad in Gumtree, all looks great, until DH pointed out that this one hasn't got a proper driving licence, only an automatic one so she wouldn't be able to drive our car.

Good grief!

Oh flowerybeanbag - it's a shame she hadn't given it more thought, but I understand your worries.

Hope you get a good candidate soon.

fbb - you made the right choice. There are many potential issues and she just didn't seem to realise that (even with prompting).

Next...

Automatic licence, hmm. Suppose not an issue for some employers, but not everyone has an automatic car. Why learn to only drive an automatic? Seems odd to me. If driving YOUR car is vital to the job, then it's on to the next candidate - with luck you will get others.

Has Gumtree applicant got their own automatic car they could use? (clutching at straws for you - our nanny uses her own car, saves us a fortune in insurance for my car)

Yes gumtree person does have own car, so it's not the end of the world, I'm just in a 'FFS why has my perfect candidate not presented themselves yet' kinda mood...

I've had another enquiry overnight as well, so fingers crossed again.