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Paid childcare

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School drop off and pick up

40 replies

Anu75 · 01/12/2022 05:56

Last week I have been honest with my manager as I have to pick up and drop off the children at school, so requested we don't have a meeting beteeen 3 to 3.30pm. This week she has sent two invites one for a meeting between 3 to 3.30pm and a second reoccuring meeting once a month between 3 30 to 4pm. I declined both and said it is right in the middle of the school run. She now wants to chat about this today. What do I say? I know for sure other people in the team nip out to do the school run without saying its their lunch they just go out. To me going out for the run helps me as most of the day I'm alone or on Teams and unlike her not in many meetings seeing people.

OP posts:
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MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 01/12/2022 08:14

You're loosing a hour of working time a day, they're right to be concerned.

Are you making this hour up later on in the day?

Overthebow · 01/12/2022 08:16

Nottodaty · 01/12/2022 08:09

I now have older children and I remember this balancing act - we found it better to just have the ASC on the days meant I didn’t limit my availability.

It’s difficult as work you can’t arrange a meeting between 9-10 and 2-4 people do the school run, others like their lunch break. That only leaves 10-11:30 and 1 - 2:30 - 3 hours a day to enable everyone else’s flexibility is becoming a nightmare! I worry we will loose it :(

Same at my work and it’s becoming unworkable. Everyone had different times they ‘can’t work’ even though they are supposed to be working that day, and it’s affecting client meetings now as well an internal ones. I’m just booking calls when it suits the client now and team ones when there is time. If someone in my team can’t make it because of a school run or other preference then tough really as there just isn’t time in the day to accommodate all preferences otherwise we will all be working into the evening (which I don’t want to encourage).

AuditAngel · 01/12/2022 08:17

I’ve had a flexible working arrangement in place for 6.5 years, since my mum initially had surgery and couldn’t drive, then when she sadly died, to do the school run 3 days a week. My mum used to do these.

once mum died, I said I would request an after school place, but said I would probably need to wait until the new school year for one to become available. My manager said she was happy for me to continue the informal arrangement as I was available to travel as needed and flexible.

Later my manager was sacked after the fir was acquired. At the new firm’s request the arrangement was formalised.

this year, my 15yo became unwell and had to be driven to and from school every day, in the opposite direction to her sibling, still at primary school. This meant my morning school run was about 1.25 hours and required breakfast club. The afternoon school run (using my lunch break) could take as long as an hour and a Hal& and was killing me!

fortunately, DD1 is much better and DD2 is at secondary and they catch the bus together, but my employer encouraged flexibility, more than I requested, and also being family friendly embraced my daughters needs, which have, fortunately been short term.

make a flexible working request

Shinyandnew1 · 01/12/2022 08:23

If you have requested meetings not be 3-3.30 and then refused meetings 3.30-4 because they are right ‘in the middle’ of the school run, I would think you were taking the piss!

It sounds like they are building a disciplinary case against you.

How old are your children?
What time is your morning school run?
when are you making up the time?
What are they doing when you are working?
Can you get childcare in place asap?

YumSushi · 01/12/2022 08:24

Overthebow · 01/12/2022 08:12

Did you request and get approved flexible working to do the school run? Or do you just do it everyday without having told anyone? If it’s the latter then I’m not surprised you are being picked up on it.

This. Have you requested to do this? Instead of your lunch? Or have you just decided its happening.

Waterdropsdown · 01/12/2022 08:26

I wfh 3 days and changed my contracted hours to 80% so I finish at 3 to enable me to do school pick up. You either do that or you use after school club. I’m sure your manager will say the same.

Waterdropsdown · 01/12/2022 08:27

I should add the other 2 days I’m in the office and come in late to do drop off and those days I don’t do school pick up.

MaggieFS · 01/12/2022 08:30

Surely if you have a contract to work during those hours you can't just choose to nip out? You could have asked up front for agreement to alternative working hours but as a manger, if an employee told me they were unavailable to work when they should be, that is bad.

Privatestate1 · 01/12/2022 08:30

I work from home, which I’m very grateful for and my manager has kids similar age and jus very understanding. However, I don’t think your justified in getting annoyed about this. My DD goes to after school club until 4.45 and if someone schedules an important call between 4.45 -5 I make an effort to be on it, DH does pick up or something. I manage to do the morning drop off and just walk back quickly to make the call. WFH is so flexible and I feel very lucky, as I can be more present ie sneak off for a school event in the afternoon if I’ve got no calls. I always feel you have to show you are committed to work and aren’t taking the piss - it gives all homeworkers a bad name!

sunshineandshowers40 · 01/12/2022 08:34

Are you actually gone that long? I can do it in 15 mins but work are absolutely fine with this. I'm home before 9am after drop off. We occasionally have meetings at this time and I just decline them. But this was all discussed in my job interview (they brought but up).

AhNowTed · 01/12/2022 08:39

The OP has another thread. This isn't just about a school run. It's about prolonged absence and the manager has probably had enough.

LIZS · 01/12/2022 08:42

Noticed that, and also op has financial issues. Did you cancel childcare to try to cut back? Job security may be more of a priority than the school run.

Prettypaisleyslippers · 01/12/2022 08:42

I wfh a lot and have after school club booked in case of meetings, I suggest that you do the same

Quveas · 01/12/2022 11:48

@Privatestate1 I feel very lucky, as I can be more present ie sneak off for a school event in the afternoon if I’ve got no calls.

In the context, I seriously hope that you didn't mean that to sound like it does. I hope you mean that you log out and your workplace are aware that these are not working hours, and that you make up the time elsewhere. I also work from home mostly, and if I have something on in the day that is personal, I do have the flexibility to go do it (with my managers knowledge, although in all honesty I doubt he remembers what I say), but there is no "sneaking" and the time is made up. The last person I know who was "sneaking" is now a former employee.

But on the general issues, I did respond earlier today on the other thread, but I do wonder, as a manager myself but also an active union rep, what else is going on. Because the information here is the OP's side of the story, and there are always at least two sides. Based on the OP's version, they appear to be somewhat unrealistic about how much time they can be absent from the workplace without it causing concerns. But with my manager hat on, having managed similar situations, I suspect there is more to it than we know. I'd lay bets the productivity of the OP is being monitored - everyone always thinks that if they "look busy" managers don't notice things, that they are doing a great job because (so far) nobody has pulled them up on it. But my experience is that once I start looking at one thing, it's like a lose thread - the entire jumper starts unravelling and I find more things than I can ignore.

So the person who nipped out every now and then during working hours, not a big thing if every piece of work I expect to see is done, and done in a timely fashion to a good enough (or better) standard. But if I am, for example, already wondering why they are struggling to manage their work, or don't seem terribly productive, or make mistakes that I don't expect them to, and then I find out that they are doing the school run for X hours, making lunch, making tea, nipping to the chemist/the supermarket... it becomes a snowball.

In my experience the vast majority of people work really well from home and I support it wherever practical. But I do think that Covid did WFH no favours, because many of us managers were exceedingly flexible and bent or broke rules to help people through that period. But people have then become so used to being able to do whatever they want, that they expect that version of WFH to continue. They fail to appreciate that in working from home the emphasis is on working. It isn't a majority, but it is a substantial enough minority to cause employers and managers concern, and it often fuels the pressures for everyone to return to the office because rules have to be fair and consistent. In many roles, like the ones that are done in my team, the work is not easily quantifiable - I can't measure how many pieces of paper get produced or how many telephone calls are made - so it can take quite some time to identify there is a problem. On one occasion an entire team were individually "covering up" problems with a member of staff because they each thought that (a) she was struggling and (b) thought she was doing work for someone else. It was only when one set of incidents alerted me to the fact that something was off and I asked each person in the team what their take was that it came to light that she was literally doing less than a couple of hours actual work a week! I would have spotted that in an instance in the office, as would the other members of the team.

Privatestate1 · 01/12/2022 14:45

@Quveas sorry that came across wrong! With managers permission so not ‘sneaking’ I was trying to make the point that even if you WFH you still need childcare in place as if you were working in the office

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