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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Terminating Childminder with zero notice - advice please! 3

44 replies

Justamumm · 08/08/2022 11:45

Hi there, please please can anyone help with how to write my termination of childminding contract with immediate effect?
A bit of the back story, my son started in April 22, it's his first CM as I was returning to work from being made redundant in lockdown. When starting I advised I will be in receipt of UC and the dates I would be paid and all was agreed. Since then every month my childminder calls me mid month or messages me demanding I pay what's owing to her and I am "having her off" to which I have to advise I would never and I appreciate the bill is getting higher but I always clear it when I pay on the 18th just like anywhere I jut put it down to her worrying over money.
There has been other issues my son had an incident of biting a month ago and she rang me to pick him up immediately, I did as I was worried but as I was on the way to collect him she rang me again saying another child had injured my son and I need to get him now (it was all very erratic she was screaming as I was driving to collect my son) Just to note my son had never bitten before and had done it through a blanket he came out of her house covered in blood and she refused him entry the next day.
Following on I had covid recently and was home from work but still sending my son to her as I was paying and he was negative. She continuously rang me to collect him that week as she knew I was home but once again I am still paying for every day.
I am just at my wits end as far as I'm concerned I am well within my rights to end the contract with immediate effect I cannot cope with the just chaos of it any longer. I appreciate I am supposed to give 4 weeks notice but as she's threatened me many times with terminating the contact for breach of policy I feel I am within my rights to.
Please can anyone help on what to say or just any advice. Thank you

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
InquiringMinds · 08/08/2022 15:20

Justamumm · 08/08/2022 11:45

Hi there, please please can anyone help with how to write my termination of childminding contract with immediate effect?
A bit of the back story, my son started in April 22, it's his first CM as I was returning to work from being made redundant in lockdown. When starting I advised I will be in receipt of UC and the dates I would be paid and all was agreed. Since then every month my childminder calls me mid month or messages me demanding I pay what's owing to her and I am "having her off" to which I have to advise I would never and I appreciate the bill is getting higher but I always clear it when I pay on the 18th just like anywhere I jut put it down to her worrying over money.
There has been other issues my son had an incident of biting a month ago and she rang me to pick him up immediately, I did as I was worried but as I was on the way to collect him she rang me again saying another child had injured my son and I need to get him now (it was all very erratic she was screaming as I was driving to collect my son) Just to note my son had never bitten before and had done it through a blanket he came out of her house covered in blood and she refused him entry the next day.
Following on I had covid recently and was home from work but still sending my son to her as I was paying and he was negative. She continuously rang me to collect him that week as she knew I was home but once again I am still paying for every day.
I am just at my wits end as far as I'm concerned I am well within my rights to end the contract with immediate effect I cannot cope with the just chaos of it any longer. I appreciate I am supposed to give 4 weeks notice but as she's threatened me many times with terminating the contact for breach of policy I feel I am within my rights to.
Please can anyone help on what to say or just any advice. Thank you

@Justamumm she sounds completely unprofessional and there is no way in hell I would leave my child with someone like her as not only is she being unprofessional, it sounds as though something could happen to your son while in her “care”. Do not take him back there!

Crikeyalmighty · 08/08/2022 15:21

I do know how you feel @Justamumm . I once had an 'employee' on a casual agreement and as a favour as she was a single mum I agreed to pay her weekly. She started sending repeated quite aggressive texts on a Friday morning if the money for that weeks work wasn't in her account that minute - even though my agreement with her was 'a favour' rather than pay her monthly and I would have been paying her within a day or so and I had never said a particular day and wasn't running a formal pay roll.

I appreciate that if things are tight people often react out of all proportion but like you I always paid her what was due and within the week- just not on the dot to suit her as that wasn't the agreement I had made . It changed my whole attitude to her I must admit and I would feel the same in your case too if this wall agreed at the beginning. I would make plans to find another place straight away- she sounds most unpleasant and I wouldn't want her looking after my child .

TommySaid · 08/08/2022 15:22

There seems to be a lot of miscommunication about you paying her.

She is acting like you are behind in paying her but you say she said it was fine to pay in arrears.

I would send her a message and say you’re terminating the contact on the 18th August. So you will continue to send him and be charged until then but you won’t be sending him or paying after the 18th.

You can either state the reasons or wait until she says about the 4 weeks notice and then say about her saying you’re late with payments, asking to pick him up all of the time etc.

If you wait until the 18th then it’s 2 weeks which is fair and it’s your normal pay day so you’ll be all up to date with paying her.
It’ll also give you time to sort somewhere else and sort it with UC etc.

2bazookas · 08/08/2022 15:23

She agreed for your first month to be paid "One month in arrears" .

It sounds to me as if that was a one-off concession to your new job. She expects all subsequent months to be paid some other way ( In advance? or weekly ). She clearly resents the way you're paying so just ASK HER when she wants to be paid., and how.

Tanith · 09/08/2022 14:13

This all sounds very odd.

I think perhaps you misunderstood the payment schedule and assumed that her willingness to wait for the first month meant she would wait every subsequent month. If you are indeed paying two weeks late every month, then I can understand why she is chasing you. I'm not sure why you didn't clarify this when she first raised the issue. She should not have to chase for payment. She has bills to pay and, if she's going overdrawn each month, that explains her annoyance.

There is nothing wrong with her taking children to another childminder's house. We often do this. It helps the children to socialise and play with different toys and activities. Would you be worried if she took your son to playgroup, or on an outing? Another childminder's house is no different: it's a registered, inspected setting.
Nor is it really an issue if she has friends or family to visit, so long as they are not left alone with the children and DBS checked if they're regular visitors.
If you are not happy with this, then think carefully about using a nursery.
Some have visiting parents in, host drag story time, or even take children to inter-generation playgroups at care homes with few checks done as to suitability of premises or residents and staff. You would need to check and make sure you are happy with any such arrangements.

I suspect the reason why she kept sending your child home while you had Covid is that she was worried about infection. I'm seeing a lot of concerned posts on SM from childminders expected to take in children with positive cases at home, sometimes the children themselves have symptoms.

Biting is an issue for all Early Years settings, as you'll see if you look on the nursery page.

Screaming at you down the phone is really bizarre! I'm at a loss to understand why you've continued to send your child into the care of someone who sounds so unbalanced.

That's the problem with refusing to pay her notice, you see. You haven't immediately removed your child from her care following any these incidents.

By continuing to send him, it looks as though these issues weren't really as bad as you're now saying. It looks as though you're finding reasons to avoid paying the notice period now that you've found an alternative - this is a very common tactic that nearly every childminder experiences at one time or another. The other is to threaten to report to Ofsted, and that's why Ofsted will not get involved if there is a contract dispute.

eggsandbaconeveryday · 09/08/2022 14:25

I would remove your child from the childminder and state that you do not feel that he is safe with them. Are their friends DBS checked and do you have access to this information? If incidents are happening when they are distracted because they have friends there then they are not doing their job. I would also contact Ofsted and make them aware of what has been happening . If you want to keep things civil I would pay half of the fees for 4 weeks notice . Your child's safety is the most important thing

jannier · 09/08/2022 18:47

Justamumm · 08/08/2022 13:51

Hi there, so the contract there is no payment date all I can provide is a bank statement/screenshot showing that I have always paid on the 18th. The thing is she's not chasing it she's accusing me of not paying and having her off etc then she calms down it's just erratic.

I have the contract her and it states the following:
"This contract may be ended immediately by either of us giving notice to the other if the other: fails to perform or is breach of any of it's main obligations or duties, or is in persistent or material breach of any of its minor obligations"

which the thing is it's not just the harassing me, but it's the constant checking if I am in work and asking to pick my son up early.

She takes him to other childminders houses without me knowing which I accept going out but she takes him in someone's home is that okay?

And when the incident came where my son bit another child her friend was in the house? Is this normal? Am I being soft? Like from what I gathered she was in another room when this happened with my son?

Please if it's me tell me but I feel broken at the minute with the stress I wanted someone to love my boy and treat him like their own. Thanks

regardless of the contract surely there are rules childminders must adhere too?

It is perfectly okay for a childminder to go to another person's house, they must always be in sight OR hearing and never alone with an adult other than thoes agreed to in contract who are registered assistants or Co minders.
Have you requested she does not contact you during your work hours unless it's an emergency or did you say you wanted pictures and updates?
If your contract says payment in advance that is what is expected were you clear the late payments were going to be ongoing or did she assume it was a one off? Normally if you start a job you can request a loan from benefits to pay the first payment then you get a receipt uc pay your % of up to 85%. A nursery would make no allowances all fees including registration fees paid in advance. Why did you sign a contract you couldn't pay for?
It sounds like you have crossed wires and she now is in financial difficulties becouse you haven't paid on time....dont forget its not just her wages but all the consumables like food crafts outings that your child needs which are brought in advance if parents don't pay there is no money for any of that.

jannier · 09/08/2022 18:56

Justamumm · 08/08/2022 14:47

Hi MarchingOnTogether thank you, I really don't want it to seem like I am trying to screw this woman over I have paid on the 18th of the month (if it's a weekend earlier) every month it's the same date every month so by the week or two before yes the weeks start adding up for my bill but that's standard in any setting unless I pay weekly surely?

Do you mean you pay a set amount each month on the 18th ....how does the weeks start adding up surley you pay the full amount due not a part payment?

jannier · 09/08/2022 19:03

Justamumm · 08/08/2022 14:42

The blood was my son's more detail of that incident:

It was when it was the hottest day of the year (to note my son is albino and as any toddler the weather effects him)

He was cranky that day and she kept messaging me saying he was (once again I am at work) next thing I get a call saying he has bitten a child I must get him immediately (after this is realised he should never have been asked to leave for biting)

a few minutes later she called me again (so a separate incident) saying the child who my son had bit had grabbed him and cut his ear, this was when her friend was there.

So when i picked my son up he had blood all over him all over his ear it was just unreal and she said without thinking "my friends here and couldn't believe what she heard" which makes me think she was in another room both times as why was the other child able to grab my son with such force to cut his ear when she was there?

In hindsight we should have left then it's just not that easy is it. Thanks

My friends here and couldn't belive what she heard does not mean they were out of the room.....some days I can't believe what I'm hearing and it happens in front of me .....2 year old snatching then screaming loud enough to be heard at the end of the street becouse they can't keep it.

jannier · 09/08/2022 19:11

Justamumm · 08/08/2022 15:20

Thank you, I have found my son a placement I was planning on him staying the 4 weeks but I have moved him forward it's a school nursery.

Once again I am not trying to screw her out of money but I am having to remove him due to her actions that's literally it.

I was planning on him attending this week and giving her the written notice Friday but after today and her once again sending numerous messages then changing her emotional approach towards me I will be keeping him off tomorrow and sending the letter tomorrow.

|if she wishes to take me to court I will fight her there if I lose so be it and I will pay

Many Thanks for all your help x

So you had a school nursery lined up and didn't give notice straight away? Do you only work school hours term time only? In 29 years I've never known a school offering places that were not applied for mid summer holiday. Legally coming up with reasons after you've left without paying isn't viewed well have you made any formal complaints about her asking to be paid what you owe? Did you complain about your child being sent home when injured? Most childminders wouldn't let you pay in arrears and this is exactly why parents who do a runner without notice. But as her insurance covers her legal fees she won't mind taking you to court how will costs and a ccj effect your credit rating? Uc won't pay a court order so it would be attachment of earnings....is it worth it?

GettingItOutThere · 09/08/2022 20:05

id be more concerned as to why you are still sending your child there when she is clearly incompetent?!

just let her moan at you, do not ever send your kids back in her care?!

Bubbafly · 09/08/2022 20:08

So it boiled down to you will be paying her on 18th but not the month after for the arrears owed. Is that correct?

EarringsandLipstick · 09/08/2022 20:28

There's two distinct issues.

  1. You are paying her in arrears. While you may have understood this to be with her agreement, this is not standard at all, and therefore that's why she is chasing you, albeit in a very unprofessional way.
  1. She sounds like a terrible CM, and more importantly, you are not happy with how your DS is being cared for. You should withdraw him immediately but I would expect to pay a) for hours you owe and b) for the 4 week notice period.

I know this is problematic in money & childcare terms but this will just end the connection you have with her and you can move on.

Bubbafly · 09/08/2022 20:29

EarringsandLipstick · 09/08/2022 20:28

There's two distinct issues.

  1. You are paying her in arrears. While you may have understood this to be with her agreement, this is not standard at all, and therefore that's why she is chasing you, albeit in a very unprofessional way.
  1. She sounds like a terrible CM, and more importantly, you are not happy with how your DS is being cared for. You should withdraw him immediately but I would expect to pay a) for hours you owe and b) for the 4 week notice period.

I know this is problematic in money & childcare terms but this will just end the connection you have with her and you can move on.

I agree with this entirely, pay what is owed and let her go.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 09/08/2022 20:50

Payment drama aside, is she actually a childminder?! I would be horrified if my childminder a) allowed my child to get into a state of blood, b) called me screaming down the phone, the children must of been terrified, c) spoken ti me the way she has to you.

remove your child immediately, I’d probably put in a complaint and just settle your invoice when you get paid.

hope your little one is okay.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 09/08/2022 20:55

Justamumm · 08/08/2022 13:51

Hi there, so the contract there is no payment date all I can provide is a bank statement/screenshot showing that I have always paid on the 18th. The thing is she's not chasing it she's accusing me of not paying and having her off etc then she calms down it's just erratic.

I have the contract her and it states the following:
"This contract may be ended immediately by either of us giving notice to the other if the other: fails to perform or is breach of any of it's main obligations or duties, or is in persistent or material breach of any of its minor obligations"

which the thing is it's not just the harassing me, but it's the constant checking if I am in work and asking to pick my son up early.

She takes him to other childminders houses without me knowing which I accept going out but she takes him in someone's home is that okay?

And when the incident came where my son bit another child her friend was in the house? Is this normal? Am I being soft? Like from what I gathered she was in another room when this happened with my son?

Please if it's me tell me but I feel broken at the minute with the stress I wanted someone to love my boy and treat him like their own. Thanks

regardless of the contract surely there are rules childminders must adhere too?

I cannot believe what I’m reading. No this is NOT okay!! None of what this so called CM is doing is okay.

Looneytune253 · 09/08/2022 21:52

Just wondering, you say you're paying her in arrears so at a minimum you'll still have to make the payment due on the 18th in full?? She's actually worked most of that. Technically you should then also pay on 18th sept at least 2-3 weeks then. I can't see anything in your post where she might have actually breached contract. Her insurance company will help her to take you to court so might work out quite expensive in the long run for you.

mathanxiety · 09/08/2022 22:02

Give notice with immediate effect.

Tell her you will pay her, as agreed, on August 18th. Make sure you make good on this.

Ask for a copy of her full incident log for your son.

Bubbafly · 09/08/2022 22:27

So can i just ask again, you owe her for a weeks work dine on -8th snd then you also owe her again on 18th Sep because you are a month in arrears?

that’s a LOT of money owed for work done. …

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