just started but thinking of giving up help please

[ihateironing]

i registered last year and it has taken to now to get some mindees,i currently have 2 lovely mindees but im hating the job.they are on a trial and it ends this week.
any words of encouragement? i was to tell mum im giving up but my mother says tough your stuck with them

HELP!

Try to plan your day a bit

Do an hour slot & decide what you are doing

Add in activities/cooking lunch/accounts (while they nap)/trips out then jiggle it a bit over a couple of weeks

Knowing what you are supposed to be doing (even if you aren't doing it) can be usful

If you want time to yourself, you have to make that time. At the weekend for example, aim to have some quality 'me time', also time to spend individually with each of your own children, and your partner (assuming you have one around).
Easier said than done nodoubt.

'Me time' during the week can be hard - I expect many of us think of 'mumsnet time' as being 'me time'.

i dont have a partner nannynick.

and none of the kids nap so its 9 hours of me and kids

When I first started minding, we found it very hard as a family to remember that, although I was at home I was stil 'at work'. Do you think that maybe the lines are a bit smudged iyswim? My DH now, doesn't expect me to do any housework related things at all during my working hours. You have to put aside the washing, ironing, cleaning etc and remember that all the time you have other peoples children in the house, they come first.

im her but my own kids are pottering around should be in bed but im on here and not really bothering with them.

im finding it hard to disiplince my child when thay are being back because although i saw in my policies i wont punish i bloody well will punish my son!

I know what having kids who don't nap is like. I am lucky that the youngest I nanny (aged 8 months) will nap if in the car... but once the car stops, 9 times out of 10 she's awake.
Other people manage to get children to nap 12.30-2.30... lucky them, I rarely get that, unless the child is ill.

Where are you located... perhaps there are other mumsnetter childcarers who are in your locality.

Where are you? Maybe one of the cm's on here is near you and can meet up with you.

Try using 1-2-3 Magic for discipline... can be used with you your own children and those you care for. I've started implementing it this term, and already things have improved greatly. Even this morning I disciplined the 4 year old I care for, in front of her mother! Always tricky to know who is 'in charge' when I and mum are around... but I couldn't put up with problem behaviour at breakfast time, so she got counted and timed-out. Then resumed breakfast far more peacefully. With 3 year old, I am now finding that I've just got to start with 1... and he will comply, most of the time.

in in south west scotland

How old are your own children? How have they taken to having you around all the time (except when they are at school/nursery)? It must be tricky for them as well, to get used to the change, so you will find that they will play-up a bit, resisting the change, taking advantage where they can.

mine are 8 and 4 but i worked nights so they are used to me being about even if im dozing on couch

So they are at school so you have strusture already

So you are by yourself with a LO during the day?

Get planning - it really will help

& pretend your 2 are at after school club & create activities for them

I can sympathise with you ihi, when I first started minding (April 05) I had own dd (aged nearly 3 at the time) and was minding for friends so the children I minded were my dd's friends and their siblings. I constantly felt I was telling my dd off, as she was so rude, showy-offy and 'naughty' (for want of a better word). I wasn't sure at first whether it was because I was trying to ensure no favouritism towards own dd or whether it was her reacting to having lots of children round. Thinking back it was a bit of both. It got easier as time went on and I did the ignoring petty misbehaviour thing and praising even the littlest amount of good behaviour and this seemed to help.

I didn't feel I wanted to give up minding then but I did think sometimes what am I doing and is this right for me. Other mumsnetters are right to say give it a chance through all the seasons - winter is worst. I find having a plan for the day eg. breakfast / play / craft activity (cutting and sticking a fave in my house!) / snack etc can help break the day up into manageable chunks. I get out to toddler groups even ones not in my own village, you get to have a cuppa and sit down meeting other mums and probably childminders and children get a chance to play with different toys and children. I also joined a childminders group which was in the nearest town but then set up one myself for the 5 childminders in our village! We meet once a week and it's really good to chat to other minders and realise that it is a fairly lonely job, so meeting up with other people is a must. Getting out every day despite the weather, even just a trip to local shop to buy stamps, visit local park/play area or even just to post a letter can help too.

Also our local school has a weekly library session for pre-schoolers, we have a mobile library that visits the village fortnightly, a music group once a week. I also do regular trips to local town library - most libraries give childminders extended hire times and extra books.

Sorry for rambling on, hope some of this helps!

Routines can be a saviour. Children like the consistency of a routine, they know what to expect.

For your own children, have a bedtime routine which results in your children being in bed (even if not asleep) by say 7.30pm for 4 year old and a bit later for your 8 year old. You could have both getting ready for bed at the same time - 8 year old just gets the added privilege of being allowed to read in bed for a while, before it is lights-out.
This will then help create You Time in the evenings, so you can mumsnet , eat a meal in peace, wash your hair, that sort of thing.

During the day, once you have found places to go which you and your mindies enjoy - then routinely go to them. For example, Monday morning = Surestart Group, Tuesday morning = Walk (or indoor play if very wet), Wednesday morning = local toddler group, Thursday morning = swimming, Friday morning = arts and crafts / numbers & letters.

Having set things to do each day can really help... even if sometimes plan has to change and you do something different.

do you know what the sound of even going to some of these places turn my stomach, ive decided ive made the wrong choice of career. will speak to the mum tomorrow

thanks for all your advice

i think it's ashame to give up so soon and i can totally sympathise with how you feel BUT i think the others on thread are right you need to give it longer - this is the WORST time of year for most people i think -
i have to have structure or i'd go loopy

mon - am - toddler group

tues - am - childminders group

weds - am - no kids!!

thurs - DAY OFF !!!!!

fri - am - play group

every afternoon we go out for a walk with the dog - rain or shine - at the moment that means a lot of puddle jumping - in the summer we can spend AGES exploring the woods - this really eats up the time and i've never had a kid moan about going out in the rain they LOVE IT

The library is another great place to waste an hour!! many do storytime great and free

are your mindees fulltimers? maybe part-timers would be good as then you'd get the time to yourself while your kids are at school/nursery

what a shame
but its like any new job if you dont like it you should stay esp with childminding as the children will pick up on it

we had a great day today, excuse my grumpyness yesterday. told mum i would continue to the summer then see from there

glad you had a good day today -
some days i really don't like the job BUT i have had day's like that in every job i've done - out of pure nosyness interest what made today better?

why didn't that work

oh i SEE !!!! OH NO I'M TALKING TO MYSELF IN PUBLIC again

I think you answered your own question there, MM!

Glad you had a better day today. It is very hard when the weather is so rubbish. Do give it a go though, its a wonderful job and very rewarding if you are in the right frame of mind. As long as you plan your days (around the weather) it can be wonderful. Good Luck and do drop into the Staff Room, you really are very welcome and we may be just the support you need right now!