One off childcare for 3 week old- advice needed

[busymamaof2]

So I'm due to have DC3 this week. Still no sign.

I am self employed and have a super important (annual) work evening event on in late July in the evening in London, which is a fairly long distance from my home. The event has been cancelled for the last 3 years (Covid) so it is a big thing this year and it would mean that I get to see all of my network in one place on one evening, as opposed to doing multiple trips to London in the autumn for one off coffees, lunches etc.

So it will be painful and intense with a potential 3-4 week old to manage but short term pain, longer term gain and all that.

I have 2 young children already- 4yo and 2yo. The original plan was for my parents to have the existing two kids for the night for a sleepover and my husband would either travel with me to London to mind the baby whilst I was at the event or he'd stay at home with baby and I'd be back the following day late morning.

I plan to combination feed, so part breast feeding. Would need to take a pump etc.

My parents have just booked their first holiday in 4 years which clashes with this event which means I need a Plan B to get myself to this event.

At the moment the best solution seems to be for DH to stay at home with the 2 and 4 yo and for me to travel with baby in tow, but to arrange a nanny/maternity nurse from say 6-10pm on the evening of the event. I'm worried about that, leaving a newborn with someone I've never met.

Does anyone have any alternative suggestions!?

Please no judging, for me I feel this event is essential and I kill several birds with one stone in one evening, then making for an easier few months of maternity leave....

Have you anyone who could go with you and mind baby? My sil just had her third and I'd happily meet her and mind baby for as long as necessary. You might be more relaxed knowing the babysitter but I've used hotel sitters previously and all was good. If you don't have anyone I'd go with dad minding all three, the stress of them all travelling will not be conductive to your meeting, also ignore the saints saying they wouldn't go, that leaving a baby is wrong, not providing for your family is wrong and when you're self employed sacrifices are made in order to ensure future business opportunities.

It actually enrages me that DHs aren't capable of looking after their own DCs. If plan A was for DH to stay home with the newborn, ie you were happy with leaving the newborn for the length of time that entailed, then plan B has to be DH stays home with all three, no?

Unless there's a massive dripfeed coming that you've got nannies and doulas to 'help' you cope with your own kids when you're on your own (sarcasm). BF apart, there should be no need for extra support for DH for less than 24 hours.

Sorry but I find this so sad. You'll be three weeks post partum yet you're faffing around trying to sort childcare and travelling a long way so you can attend a work event. I'm all for women having careers but honestly, three weeks after birth, you should be in your pjs cuddling your baby on the sofa.

I have used Hello Mums and Bubble to find childcare help in London when my babies were small – often I ended up having sitters who were very qualified (night nurses or people who worked in nurseries or with children with special needs). With Hello Mums I could definitely book a sitter for a place that wasn't my house – I had to be in central London for an event and they came to me, and while I was at the event I found a room for them to use (and they ended up going for a walk around the square, etc). This was during the day, to be clear, but I would imagine you would be able to find someone qualified and with newborn experience to help. (It also sounds like if you were going to stay overnight, you would have a room for them to stay with your baby while you were at the event, which might make it easier). Good luck!

I’d take the baby in a sling in the evening - will most likely sleep with you swaying / moving around and will make you stand out from the crowd / be a great talking point if a networking event

Coming at this from a slightly different angle, but have you considered covid? We currently have quite a few staff off at my firm with Covid. This is following industry events such as networking, awards nights etc. It seems that Covid cases are rising again and a big networking event would be perfect for spreading.

I'm not usually a big worrier about it, but I think if I had a 3 week old baby I would definitely be taking it into consideration.

One trip as opposed to multiple. Which is also not unsustainable imo. Some people with children have to travel for work. Some women with children have to work.

Wld a friend not go with you to mind the baby?

I think this would be my preference. Then baby won't be left alone with a stranger.

Do either of you have an older niece, sister, cousin who you could bring with you to London to stay with the baby in the hotel room and dh stays at home with the older kids?

Could you take your baby with you to the event? I know it would be unconventional but if one of my suppliers did this I would be perfectly ok with it. You could breastfeed whenever needed and put him in a sling to get to sleep.

Can you take baby and a minder for the baby (sister, friend, paid babysitter) to the conference with you?

I did a lot of this sort of thing, with 3 young kids. I would probably take the baby to the event in a carrier on my front, let it feed and sleep and fit in to the occasion (this worked with our newborns at various different sorts of events). I would have the other two and dh in a hotel for the evening and night, or possibly drive through the night after the event with everyone sleeping in the car.

People tend to think this sort of life is crazy and unworkable, but that is what we did. It was actually fun for our family.

I have PM'd you OP.

It’s easy to forget how intense newborns are at night. You could easily have a collicy one that screams until 10/11 while you’re at your event.

I’d either leave 3 with DH and see if he can get some extra help in so he can concentrate on the newborn and do the travel as quick as possible or see if you could make a longer break out of it and hire a cottage/airb&b so you’re not dragging the little ones 3 hours away for nothing. Unless you could get a good friend to come with you, I just don’t think I’d be comfortable handing a newborn over to an unknown babysitter.

Wow. Stop guilt tripping a working mum

being self employed is very different and @busymamaof2 needs to keep business contacts

and makes far much more sense to meet all in one go rather then do several 3hr trips later on

obv you would have just given birth so need to take care of self as well

if the original plan was for dh to have baby at home then stick with that

yes he will have his 4&6yr as well.

its 24hrs

obviously make sure baby takes the bottle as well as bf so he or mn can feed baby

dont take baby to event. Will look unprofessional and May be an easy baby feed and sleep. But May be a crier as well

you don’t need the added stress

now whether you feel more comfortable having a mn at hotel near by or An extra pair of hands for dh at home having 3 tho he should be able to look after his own 3 children for 24hrs

I would offer myself as I’m a maternity nurse but I’m booked up for July

you could contact an agency and prob pay £25/30 to find a mn plus then the mn rate on top which could be £20ph +