Is it offensive to offer more

hellosunshineagainx · 2022-03-30T22:23:41+00:00

Been with our childminder for a year and we pay £4.50 an hour. This is the rate of all childminders in the area. I have just had a pay rise and I am very very happy with my childminder, how can I offer to pay £5 an hour without offending her? I still think £5 is such a good rate for how good she is. I just don't want to offend her

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MatchaTea · 30/03/2022 23:51

I would just give her an envelope with some money for some anniversary (child has been 1 year with her), or her birthday, the holidays or Christmas... a token of your appreciation. It think it would be complicated for her to have two sets of rates, one for you, one for the other parents, especially if she is using some software for billing and it might make things awkward.

Pumpfive · 31/03/2022 07:20

That is so kind and your childminder will be SO grateful. I'd say 'I'd like to up the hourly rate I pay you, would you like it in bonus form or are you able to amend my invoices'

I work in childcare and saw a post the other day where a childminder was putting her rates up from April by about 50p an hour I think. A parent came to her and said she's decided to back date it from January and went back and worked out all the extra. Such a lovely gesture.

Pumpfive · 31/03/2022 07:21

I find our jobs are often massively undervalued. I love my job as a nanny but sometimes people are so unappreciative of us.

GeneLovesJezebel · 31/03/2022 07:22

You could give her a monthly cash bonus for the difference.

ChickenSkinny · 31/03/2022 07:25

Why would it offend her? Just say that you’re really pleased with her service and ask her to adjust the rate.

PutinIsAWarCriminal · 31/03/2022 07:25

I would just tell her you've decided to increase the rate you pay her to £5. You don't need to feel awkward about it and I'm sure she'll be very happy.

saraclara · 31/03/2022 07:31

The only problem with raising the rate, is that then it might make her think she could raise it for everyone else too. And then parents for whom that extra money could be unaffordable (especially now, with energy costs and NI going up) are penalised for your generosity.

I'd just give her a cash bonus on occasion. This won't potentially affect others. Her rate is the going rate in your area. Don't do anything that risks a rise in costs for all her clients. You can afford it, maybe they can't.

MarchingOnTogether · 31/03/2022 18:41

Maybe ask if she's planning to up her rates as you believe she deserves it.
If she says no, save the difference somewhere and get some nice vouchers for Xmas instead.

jannier · 01/04/2022 17:42

Most childminders are scared of increasing fees and worry if parents can afford it so often earn less than minimum wage......talk to her she won't be offended

NuffSaidSam · 01/04/2022 21:14

I'd give it to her as a cash bonus at the end of the year.

Or do as pp suggested and ask of she's planning on putting her rates up as she deserves it (although you then run the risk of her putting them up by more than 50p).

YankeeDad · 01/04/2022 21:22

If you are happy to pay the higher rate indefinitely, which I assume you are, I would tell her "cost of living has obviously gone up a lot and you do an excellent job, so we think it would be fair to increase your pay rate to £5 / hour." I imagine she will feel appreciated, not offended.

areallthenamesusedup · 01/04/2022 22:01

If they are doing a good job and you want to keep her, raise her wages.

Do what is right for you and her.

Ask her if she would prefer it as a raised hourly rate or as a bonus.

(TBH: I am totally astounded at some of the comments on here.....eg don't raise her wages in case her other clients can't. I can not imagine someone at Apple saying...."oh, we can not raise the wages of a great product developer in case the poor people at IBM can't match it. Your child minder is doing a job, she is not a charity....this is her job and livelihood).

saraclara · 01/04/2022 22:32

@areallthenamesusedup

If they are doing a good job and you want to keep her, raise her wages.

Do what is right for you and her.

Ask her if she would prefer it as a raised hourly rate or as a bonus.

(TBH: I am totally astounded at some of the comments on here.....eg don't raise her wages in case her other clients can't. I can not imagine someone at Apple saying...."oh, we can not raise the wages of a great product developer in case the poor people at IBM can't match it. Your child minder is doing a job, she is not a charity....this is her job and livelihood).

OP is not her employer. OP doesn't put up her rates, the self-employed childminder does.

If OP wants to give the CM a cash bonus, that's absolutely fine. Any excuse to do so (birthday, Christmas, start date anniversary) is good. But single handedly putting up a rate that the CM (and other CMs in the area) are happy with and that her other clients (not bosses) have been able to afford, is unfair to those other people for whom an extra £25 a week expense might be catastrophic.

drpet49 · 01/04/2022 22:34

* I'd give it to her as a cash bonus at the end of the year.*

^This

NuffSaidSam · 01/04/2022 22:36

@areallthenamesusedup

If they are doing a good job and you want to keep her, raise her wages.

Do what is right for you and her.

Ask her if she would prefer it as a raised hourly rate or as a bonus.

(TBH: I am totally astounded at some of the comments on here.....eg don't raise her wages in case her other clients can't. I can not imagine someone at Apple saying...."oh, we can not raise the wages of a great product developer in case the poor people at IBM can't match it. Your child minder is doing a job, she is not a charity....this is her job and livelihood).

I think you've misunderstood how childminders work.

They're not employees with wages for a start. They run a business and set their fees.

purpleme12 · 01/04/2022 22:39

Agree with the posts saying give it a bonus for whatever occasion instead

areallthenamesusedup · 01/04/2022 22:49

To be honest, I really struggle with this.

It tends to be women work, or work that is done in the home, or work that is done on a part time basis, or work not governed by employment contracts where such attitudes pervade.

Imagine this person is not a child minder but a shopworker...working at a shop through an agency. Should Sainsburys not pay that worker more because they are doing a great job and are valuable to them in case Morrisons can not pay the same?

I do not believe that "just" because someone is a child minder and self employed they are therefore different..because that is what women have been fighting for hundreds of years, equal pay, equal value, equal recognition.

People should be paid their worth. We can not have a situation where a child minder is treated differently specifically because they are a child minder. Your child minder is personally not responsible for the local market rate for child minders.

In any other area of work or service, you pay what it is worth to you, subject to minimum wage legislation.

I do not believe you should keep someone's wages down on purpose, because you fear other employers/people that are paying for a service can not also meet the same rate.

NuffSaidSam · 01/04/2022 22:57

In any other area of work or service, you pay what it is worth to you, subject to minimum wage legislation.

No. You pay what is asked for.

No-one has a plumber come round and pays them more than they ask for because they did a good job.

No-one goes to Sainsbury's and says 'these biscuits are only £1 but they're delicious so I'll be paying £2'.

No-one pays more than required for nursery fees because they love the setting etc.

The childminder can set her rates as she sees fit. It's disrespectful to her business to talk about her 'wages' or 'giving her a rise'. She is not an employee. Mention how great she is and how you feel she's worth more, but do it with respect for her business.

UsernameIsNotAvailableRightNow · 01/04/2022 22:58

I'd give it as a cash in hand lump sum bonus at the end of every month. Then she doesn't have to declare it if she doesn't want to.

CafeCremeMerci · 01/04/2022 22:59

I would just say to her that you've had a pay rise and that without her that wouldn't have happened so you'd like to share a bit to help with the increased cost of fuel & food etc would she like fuel/food vouchers, bank transfer or cash. Contributing to expenses rather than her invoice amount might be beneficial.

saraclara · 01/04/2022 23:00

I do not believe you should keep someone's wages down on purpose

Nobody is keeping anyone's wages down on purpose. The CM has her own business. She sets her rate like anyone else who provides a service - just like a plumber, a decorator or a mobile mechanic or hairdresser.

It's not up to one person to unilaterally pay a different rate which could risk other people's finacial security, especially now when the cost of living is about to rise sky high. And it could almost end up with that person's child somehow being treated differently to the children whose parents are not paying this 'enhanced' rate.

But just as you can tip your hairdresser, OP can 'tip' her CM and a couple of points in the year without risking the CM's other clients financial stability.

I think that it's quite patronising not to acknowledge that the CM has her own business and is her own boss. Some people on here seem to see CMs as employees instead.

gogohm · 01/04/2022 23:02

I suggest that it's better for you to offer a sim as an extra than it be part of the hourly rate

hm1610 · 01/04/2022 23:19

What a lovely gesture! Childminder will be over the moon. Your words are so kind.

frenchfancy81 · 01/04/2022 23:31

£100 cash at Christmas.

jannier · 01/04/2022 23:38

I dont think people understand how cms rates are determined. They can in theory set a rate but if they are in an area where there are lots of illegal childcare, where parents wages are low, where there was an influx of chain nurseries offering discounted rates to force out competition setting a higher rate means no work at all. I live in outer London where a three bed house is £1200 to rent but childminder rates are £4.50 in the North of my borough where accountants, company directors etc live its £8 an hour but if I decided to charge £5.50 I'd struggle even though I've been outstanding for the last 3 inspections.
Despite my degree and experience earning above minimum wage is not easy....yes some will say get another job but that means no parental choice, the loss to families with various needs including SEN of my extensive experience and me leaving a job I'm passionate about.
The rate would not go up for everyone why would it?