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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

So have all the aupairs returned after Christmas

84 replies

mishmash · 06/01/2008 22:16

Mine arrived back on Friday and has been pampered since her entrance.

And I am here just thinking "oh no - back to square 1" - really enjoyed the time here without her.

We decided we still need her till Mid June cos we can't sort out childcare till then and I finish work.

BTW for those of you who don't know me my kids are all school going so she only has them 2-3 hours a day.

Had hoped my mum would be able to take them but she is getting on in years and is in lots of pain from arthritis.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

eleusis · 08/01/2008 15:36

What is her childcare experience? (even if nurseries before coming to you)

Is your job her first live-in position? How long has she been there?

nortynamechanger · 08/01/2008 18:08

I am needing an AP+ from March....

I live in Kent, 45 mins train to London.

I'll back Ingles warning (Happy New Year btw 'tis Alycat) ...BEWARE the French!!!

Quattrocento · 08/01/2008 18:23

I have a perfectly lovely french au-pair. Absolutely first class. I have to fight to stop him buying food with his money, he does creative stuff (baking, building stuff) etc all the time he has them. He is fab.

What's wrong with your french au-pair?

QuintessentialShadow · 08/01/2008 18:24

She is 20. She has been babysitting (and could put to bed 3 children between 1 and 7) and worked in a summer holiday camp before she came to me. With me she has sole charge of my 2 1/2 year old 3 afternoons per week, and take both of them to school and nursery, and she is just generally around from 3 pm whether I am there or not taking care of one or two of them. She is very popular in the area babysitting for other families when I dont need her in the evenings.

ingles2 · 08/01/2008 18:57

Happy New Year Alycat/Norty...like the new name! Surely it can't be time for your AP to leave already?
Aaah Quattro that's because your French AP is Male and we all know they are charming and seductive, you lucky lucky lady. The girls though are just stroppy

eleusis · 08/01/2008 20:38

I think actually she would have to have a bit more experience for my marathon sole charge days. So I'll let the rest of you fight over her.

Thanks, anyway.

laura032004 · 08/01/2008 20:56

My French ap isn't at all stroppy. She does admit to being very sensitive, and apparently takes things to heart easily, but we've had no problems at all - this is her talking about issues between her and her dad. But as this is my first ap, I'll bow to all of your superior knowledge, and tread carefully next time

nortynamechanger · 09/01/2008 12:43

What is wrong with my French AP? How long have you got???

She is highly critical of everything I do, what I feed my children, how I look after my pets etc

A conversation early in our relationship....

AP 'You really need to make DS eat more things, fruit and vegetables, or he will end up like DD'

(DS has special needs and is a very fussy/texture sensitive eater - sees a Paed, dietitian etc for this)

Me 'erm, DD eats a wide variety of things she loves fruit and veg'

AP 'But how did she get to be like that, is she ill or did she just eat too much food.'

nortynamechanger · 09/01/2008 13:41

She is also completely unable to put socks into pairs or decide who they belong to, she is only responsible for sorting and putting away the childrens clean laundry - I do all the washing including hers.

My DD has to have black socks for school, they are size 1 adult, over the knee and have her name sewn into them. They are constantly in my DH's bqasket. My DS has tiny feet, size 7 childrens he ends up with any of DD's socks that aren't pink.

It really irritated me, so when she returned to work I explained that any socks should go in the luandry room in the new basket labelled 'socks' and I would be responsible for all sock pairing and putting away. Mon afternoon I went through DS' wardrobe to remove outgrown items, resort into nursery/play and smart clothes. There were 2 pairs of DD's socks in there that the AP had put in since I asked her not to. One pair were pink and white and the other blue with sparkly starts on.

The children were very pleased to have her back and she does seem to be making more effort with them and generally.

Ingles yes she was due to stay longer but she isn't a 'natural' AP, finds it (me?) hard and looked for a new family after her fist week back in Oct! She obviously didn't get a better offer, tbh I'm surprised she agreed to come back after Christmas.

ingles2 · 09/01/2008 17:56

Oh No Norty! God AP's can be a pain in the arse can't they.
What a cheeky mare you've got! I wouldn't of let her comeback after Xmas
Fingers crossed, I haven't got any problems with mine this week, and I've just asked her to ask round her friends if she knows of any AP's looking for a new family. I know you're not very far from me, so I'll keep you posted

MrsRecycle · 10/01/2008 20:05

Well my AP turned up on time and it's nice to have her back. ds (16 months) was the one that missed her the most - I've never seen him run to anyone like her.

The dds wanted to stay up and see her so that's nice. And my house is clean and tidy (although I'm not there away on Business at moment).

Norty - I must admit whilst my AP lacks initiative, she certainly makes up in for in comprehension - I only have to say things once and she does it. It's wonderful. I am at implying your dd is fat. It's funny my dd2 is a skinny thing and is so pleased that she's getting a belly so she can be like dd1 - its made her year.

ingles2 · 10/01/2008 21:17

please can I do a little hijack....
AP know's we go away for most of August. She has to stay here and look after animals etc. I've told her to invite her parents over for a holiday which she was pleased with but she also wants to invite 3 girlfriends. What do you reckon?

laura032004 · 11/01/2008 06:50

Would they be there at the same time as her parents? If you're away for almost a month, then even if the parents come for a fortnight, there's still another 2 weeks ish that she'll be alone. 3 seems a lot, but then, at least she's been upfront and honest about numbers. Would you be paying her normal rate whilst you're away? Presumably you wouldn't have to pay for the food for all these girls? How would she buy her own food during this time? Would you leave a kitty?

Original poster

mishmash · 11/01/2008 09:35

Thats it - I have had enough!!!! Can't take it anymore - she has to go

Plain and simple really

OP posts:

bucksmum · 11/01/2008 09:51

Our new french au pair arrives on Sunday I can't wait! The last we had was fantatsic but had to go back to uni early. So fingers crossed we have picked well this time

laura032004 · 11/01/2008 10:50

Oh no mishmash. What was the last straw?

Bucksmum - good luck

ingles2 · 11/01/2008 11:16

Laura...I was going to pay her £100 a week and then leave £150 for food and petrol. It's actually 3 weeks and 1 day. Her mum and dad are coming for 2 weeks. Thing is she's quite a party animal, so I was thinking of saying 1 girlfriend at a time...not sure if I like the idea of 4 of them partying in my house. What do you think?
Mish Mash...Is it the socks?
Good luck Bucksmum..

feelingfedup · 11/01/2008 11:33

laura - is she joking? Would you really feel comfortable having 3 unknown girls in your house? Parents, OK, hopfully mature respectful people, but a group of unknown, unsupervised girls?

btw - check with your house insurers. You may find you invalidate your insurance by inviting a group of complete strangers to live in your home while you are not there.

ingles2 · 11/01/2008 11:37

Thanks FFU...I think you're probably right

Original poster

mishmash · 11/01/2008 15:28

Actually girls before I had a chance to tell her she came to me and said she wanted to leave. Not to go into too much detail but she is very unhappy and very homesick. It has been like walking on eggshells around since last November so I'm glad that she decided to leave of her own accord before we told her to go. It is best for all of us.

But the final straw with me yesterday was the famous shopping list which she made out without being asked and you've guessed it it was mostly what she wanted.

Anyway time to move on and put it down to experience.

Won't be getting another AP or childminder.

My work hours are now flexible so they will have to put up me instead

OP posts:

nortynamechanger · 11/01/2008 15:43

MM I'm glad that has sorted itself out and you won't be left needing childcare due to flexi hours.

Ingles, is she kidding??? Unless parents and girls at the same time, they'll be having a wild party at your expense methinks.

Perhaps if you wish to appease her you could say they are welcome BUT only when you are there. (God I am mad??) As I would be concerned that she will have them over when you aren't there and hope you won't notice....

Mine hasn't got on my nerves as much this week, perhaps she as improved or I am just glad of the extra help at any cost - DH away and DCs ill!

I have given her a £15 bonus this week for a few extra hours helping, actually she has had an extra day off too - I'm going soft.

ingles2 · 11/01/2008 17:26

Ooohh definitely soft Norty....mind you a couple of little bonuses do seem to keep them happy....
Sorry things didn't work out MishMash but what a relief that she's going..even better you're now flexible.
Well, I might have managed to sort AP and August. She applied for Uni (portsmouth) for Sept and found out she was accepted today which is great. I've spent the afternoon encouraging her to get a job in our local town during August to help pay her fees...I think it might be working!

bigshopper · 12/01/2008 09:15

Quint, Why don't you take her, to help you move house and look after kids while you get organised?

laura032004 · 12/01/2008 09:40

ingles - Hmm, it's difficult if she's a bit of a party animal. TBH, I'd let my ap have a friend or two to stay whilst I was away, but I'd be hoping they'd be like her, and she is absolutely fine. Perhaps with 3 extra, things could get a little out of hand. Definitely push the job idea. Or perhaps somebody else locally might be glad of a live out ap during August with the school holidays?

mishmash - glad things worked out in the end. Much better that she has decided to go rather than the other way around.

ingles2 · 12/01/2008 11:00

Oh Good idea Laura,...now why didn't I think of that! We could put an advert on Gumtree. Even better as she's hoping to Nanny whilst at Uni, so the more experience the better.

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