How to manage over Christmas

[SSpuds]

Please be kind!! I had to take an admin job this year. It's been fine we have managed alongside my husbands shifts with the ambulance service with a combination of a friend and an elderly relative ( we haven't had to use them yet).
I have had a term time job up until now. My childcare help are away over Christmas, so 24th until 29th and I have been told because everyone wants those dates I won't get them.
My husband is on shift all over Christmas and CAN NOT take leave - obviously the service can not close.
What the hell do I do?
What is your experience?

Ah ok, they can just watch a film while your husband gets a few hours kip then can't they? It'll be fine!

NigelSlatersXmasTaters

I worked years in offices before having dcs and always worked between Christnas and New Year. The problem is that childcare is closed and I have no one to mind dcs. I would have thought that we could all work 1 day and cover, but there is a large proportion of people who want 1 or 2 weeks off at Christmas and are prepared to fight to get this. A share of them don't have young dcs. They have teens but will still take their time no matter what.

9 and 12 isn't too bad. I often have to leave mine from time to time, as I have to work some days Christmas and Easter. It was worse when they were toddlers.

Surely at 9 and 12 they will be absolutely fine to be at home with your DH after his night shift? They are old enough to amuse themselves for a few hours while he sleeps.

Yeah, it definitely makes it fairer if you share the load. That said, we've always had to work Christmas Day itself and all sorts of other unsociable shifts so I find it a bit strange that colleagues would fight and fall out over the 28th December. So silly and petty.

OP - your husband can get a few hours in the afternoon and then you'll be home for the next 4 days! That's quite good compared to many shift working families! And next year you get the pick when your husband might be on day shifts. At least he'll be at home, you don't need childcare.

There isn't a solution. As long as your husband is around (even if asleep) they'll have to manage.

In the long term though, one of you probably needs a job where you don't need to work over Christmas.

"In the long term though, one of you probably needs a job where you don't need to work over Christmas."

Why? The OP doesn't work over Christmas, just the days surrounding it. The kids will be 10 and 13 next year!

You ring an agency and prob pay double money for Xmas eve and get a nanny

Ask school friend for 29th

What hours do you ideally need

What time are you home

Unless there's going to be a drip feed about additional needs, older children are fine at home with a parent sleeping off a night shift.

Your DH could sleep for a few hours, get up at 12 and make & eat lunch with them, then go back to bed at 3 and you'll be home 5/6?

We are both working some days over the Christmas period and our usual evening babysitter is covering. Try Bubble, Sitters or Childcare as suggested above.

Ask on your local FB page if any local teenagers would like a babysitting job on those days? They'll all be on Xmas holidays from school/college/sixth form

9 and 12 is old enough to be u supervised if your husband is in the house. You can maybe keep phoning and checking on them.

At 9 and 12 I'd let them watch some films while your husband sleeps tbh!
But if you aren't happy with that, you can find a babysitter / nanny on childcare.co.uk
Or even ask for a local teenager/ student. Students may be home for Xmas and wanting a bit of extra cash. You'll only need about 6 hours probably!

@NigelSlatersXmasTaters

"In the long term though, one of you probably needs a job where you don't need to work over Christmas."

Why? The OP doesn't work over Christmas, just the days surrounding it. The kids will be 10 and 13 next year!

The OP says she needs childcare 24th til 29th.

Work out the exact days cover you need - I assume you dont work weekends.

Then ask friends, look up clubs and see what’s about. Some of it may be that the kids are home while DH sleeps and he just prepares lunch or something until you get home.

"The OP says she needs childcare 24th til 29th."

She says that the kids are 9 and 12 and that her husband will be at home too. She really doesn't need to get a different job!

I haven’t used them but have heard good things about the website www.sitters.co.uk

You can arrange daytime babysitters who are experienced and vetted.

Don't people understand that if you work shifts you can't always just swap shifts, especially at that time of year? Some people really do live in a bubble!

OP we're in a similar position, DH often has to take leave if I have to work (I'm the shift worker), but if he can't then we have to rely on friends as our normal childcare is closed and no family nearby. I always return the favour though as shiftwork often means I'm available for school pick ups when they're stuck, or other holidays when they have to work. Ask your kids friends parents, don't be embarrassed, they may be more than happy to help and would welcome the option of knowing they can ask you for a favour too if they're ever in need.

Only other option is unpaid parental leave, but your employer doesn't have to approve that at the exact time you ask for it, so it's not a fail safe back up plan.

"Don't people understand that if you work shifts you can't always just swap shifts, especially at that time of year? Some people really do live in a bubble!"

Both me and DH have been shift workers for decades. (Until last year when I changed) in 2 different emergency services. It's very rare that one of us couldn't swap a shift, even at Christmas. As long as everyone does their fair share you work it out.

Luckily the OPs husband will be at home so she doesn't need to ask anyone and the kids are old enough to entertain themselves.

Surely you didn't ask other school parents to watch your 9 and 12 year old on Xmas Eve while you slept? Practically everyone I know works or has worked shifts and I've never heard of anyone doing that!

Is it just the 2 working days? Or are you trying to cover the bank holidays too?
At 9 and 12, and Dad in the house sleeping, I'd leave them to it. It will likely be a full day of screens, but wont do them any harm. My 9 yr old has had to do similar - DH on back to back calls, me in the office. As a single day, he was fine. A week would probably be too much, but as an odd day they should be fine (SEN excluded).

Given their ages do you have the option to work from home or work half days over those days? Good luck op it's hard.

I would be leaving them at home with their dad in bed

Leave them at home, making it clear that they must be quiet because their dad is asleep. Leave snacks in the fridge so that the older one can sort out their lunch. Text periodically during the day. They’ll be fine!