Is this the right approach? Help

[Drunkenmonkey]

I really need some advice about an approach to settling in.

My first baby took ages to settle and now I've started with the second and it is very similar. I have chosen a childminder who seems great, comes personally recommended and loads of experience.
I've tried to follow her advice and we did one session at her house with me staying. DD cried when we arrived and wouldn't really leave my lap, but eventually got down to play.
She then suggested the second session she stay alone for an hour. I assumed I would come in for a bit but at the door she suggested to drop and go as she said it would be easier than her getting used to me being there (she was very kind about this, not pushy but confident).
Anyway I left and she cried non stop for 40 minutes and then I came back and she was sobbing and catching her breath, she was distraught.
What do I do now? She has suggested doing another drop and go next week and gradually building up the time. I feel like I should have gone in today and feel devaststed that I abandoned her like that when she wasn't ready.
I am so upset about this. I now think that she will have such bad associations with the place and we should have done a gentler approach.
Im thinking of suggesting next time I come in for a while but will that just confuse her??

What would you do?

Thanks

She is in good hands. This is really hard and most children have tough days at the start or more challenging later in leaving mum. As others have said quick cheery handover. Turn get out of sight and like many a mum have tears and coffee and share what you are going through with a trusted friendly colleague. I am lucky work with high portion of working mum's who knew well what going back was like so a little support was always offered. My turn now to have the coffee and tissues when our admin support returns next week. Before you know it she will run to the CM and you will like every mum be equally horrified and grateful. Big hugs

@mummyof287 it took ages for her to settle. In fact I'd say she has only stopped crying at drop off and been happy to go in over the last 3 weeks.
Not long ago I started a thread under a different username wondering if I should change settings as she was screaming relentlessly at drop off and in the car.
Anyway she is now 2 and she has started talking (was a late starter) and its really helped, she now goes in happily each day and mentions her friends names etc. I think the CM is great and I don't regret using her, I just dont think my baby was ready to be left at that age and is only really benefitting now she is a bit older.

Childminder of 28 years here ad Mum of 5.
Same as others have said. Your childminder is right. Don't think an hr is long enough though. I've 1 of 12 months settling in right now. 1st time couple of hrs then couple of half days. At that age they will suffer separation anxiety, but with a good child carer supporting them should soon settle. Definitely think you staying around would make it worse. Leave a little comfort blanket, perhaps piece of an old dressing gown of yours with your smell on it to cuddle. X

Was going to say a zombie thread

But fab you came back and updated @Drunkenmonkey

With covid and less interaction and seeing people some babies /toddlers are taking longer

Glad she has finally settled

Maybe she picked up on your fears

And yes far better to drop and go

My dd was the same at pre school. Always happy and confident with me but when started as was covid so no settling in sessions - had never been inside , had to leave at door etx

She cried. I cried

I’ve been in childcare for over 30yrs - 20 as a nanny and 12yrs as a maternity nurse

I know it’s better to dump and run

Nothing worse than a flaffing parent

My nanny head told me this

My mum heart knew I had to

But was hard

We had tears for maybe a month going 3 days a week but she settled by half term easily