Nannies -- I need advice please!

[OurLittlePumpkin]

Hello lovely nannies (and Mums with nannies - feel free to throw in any advice, too!!)

I am a full-time live-out nanny to three wonderful children. I am pregnant and my employer has informed me that they are planning on sending the eldest back to school in a couple of weeks. I'm slightly confused for a number of reasons.
They both work full-time from home and therefore I look after the kids for them so they don't have to. As far as I am aware the schools are mostly opening for a place to send the kids who don't have childcare so parents can get back to work and start boosting up the economy again. Everyone I know is keeping their kids at home until at least September as they don't feel comfortable and its almost summer.
I think it's a needless added risk as I am currently home schooling perfectly fine. They also get enough exercise. Also, if they go back at the end of June it'll only be for a few weeks as they'll break for summer holidays shortly after. I just really don't see the point. With me being pregnant and my husband still working from home, and because they are not our children and I can't risk my family getting poorly I think I should say something about how uncomfortable it makes me feel. I guess I'm just looking for advice? Am I being totally unreasonable or are my concerns valid. I haven't seen my family since Xmas and am trying to do the right thing by isolating as long as poss. They haven't been isolating I know that much. Which is another thing that makes my blood boil. Anyway this could turn into a mega rant so I'll leave it there. Hope it makes sense. Frantically typing as been meaning to send this post for ages and keep getting distracted 😂😂
Oh and also they haven't even asked how I'm feeling about having people in the house like cleaners, delivery men and engineers. Is that odd? Am I expecting too much to be considered as this is where I work? I've had no risk assessments at all. They haven't asked if I'm OK about the child going back to school. Just feel a bit walked over.
OK I'm done!!!!!!!
Thanks in advance 😊 xx

@GeriGeranium thank you. I think as my employer pays a company to sort out my pay, tax, contracts, holiday etc that they also get access to legal advice and risk assessment advice, especially with covid 19, there has to be something accessible to them. They've probably not even thought about it to be fair, but it makes it extremely tough on me as their employee.
I get it is your family and I wouldn't overstep but you have to understand when you have a nanny working in your home you have a duty to respect them and treat them fairly. You don't need approval but you have to think of stuff from their perspective as well sometimes, after all they are looking after your babes. You don't have to run everything past them but just be considerate. Especially at a time like this.

Completely agree and I will take this into consideration when speaking with them - really not my intention to offend anyone - thank you for your help xx

@NannyR I'm so glad your employers brought you into the discussion and included you. That's how it's done. I feel like because I haven't been involved it's now looming over me to have to say something. I will speak up and express my concerns.

I'm newly pregnant and will be sending my toddler to pre school in September - I don't have to but I think she needs it. I am not worried about me or my child as the statistics show that pregnant women are still extremely low risk (unless other factors such as obesity/asthma etc).

I employ a nanny and have discussed what we are doing at every stage with our nanny. But we are lucky that she is reasonable. Our cleaners come when our nanny is out and use gloves and masks, so as to minimise her risk. But I took my daughter to her Playball class this morning (which they were running in a socially distanced way) - if it is permitted within the rules I will do the thing I think is best for my child. And you have to accept that.

But by the way I would probably leave my children being home schooled by you if I were them, sounds ace! Do you think that their daughter is missing her friends and has actually asked to go back to school though?!

Also you must be quite early in pregnancy to be asking this question as you would be entitled to maternity pay if employed by them at 6months (ish) I think?

The only pregnant women who have had issues have been in their last trimester if that is any comfort?

Also, quite low risk of transmission from small children.

They should discuss with you a risk assessment though - eg they pick up daughter and take responsibility for changing her clothes after school and washing her hands before you take over. That is very reasonable.

I think that the social interaction with school friends is very important for Y1 and much more so that the curriculum right now. However, maybe your employers thought they were doing you a favour and making things easier for you due to your pregnancy.

You need to ask for a risk assessment and by all means bring up your concerns about the contact you are having with others because of their other employees in the house, but it’s not something you have a say in and I would urge you to change the way you phrase things so as not to annoy your employers.

I am quite surprised by some of the responses here. I think people forget that being a nanny is not the same as casual babysitting, we are employed by the family and the parents, as employers, have a duty of care to their employers. I work for a few families and all of them have been great every step of the way. One of the children goes to nursery some days but the parents have included me in decisions about when to send her back. It is courtesy. My sister is pregnant and due at the end of the year, she is a teacher and her school have been amazing. She will not return for the rest of her pregnancy and will be given tasks at home instead (her head decided this before she even had to discuss anything with them)
OP I can see why you are worried and agree they should be mentioning if they are having tradespeople in (and having them in on your days off)
You say they aren't socially distancing either, I'd be really upset at this. I've struggled mentally over the last 3 months. I haven't seen a single family member for 4 months. It is hard. I am being extra careful outside of work to stay away from people and I expect the same respect in return.

employers have a duty of care to their employees *

In what sense included you in discussions? I’d inform of our nanny of our plans, but I wouldn’t expect her to have a say in them, I think that’s unusual.

We had a chat with our nanny about sending our child back to school at the beginning of June. We didn't need it for childcare but it has been enormously beneficial for her to be around children her own age. Around 2/3 of her class went back, which is in line with the statistics I have seen on a national level, so I'm surprised you don't know anyone sending their child back - they are in the minority. I'm not sure what we would have done if she had strongly objected. Possibly found another nanny as we would have wanted to prioritise what we felt was in our child's best interests.

@KingofDinobots at every stage of the pandemic, I have been included in discussions to make sure i feel comfortable. I'd have been happy for them to send the child whenever they felt it necessary but they have decided July, which to be honest made me feel relieved. Im part of a large whatsapp group of local nannies and all have had similar so i dont think i am in the minority 🤷‍♀️

Why be snipy and say no wonder I don't comment on here. You've had some great input, a range of viewpoints and no one has been downright rude. You must know that advice on here can be forthright sometimes but you can't expect everyone to simply be in your corner.

Thank you for your replies guys. I've since spoken to my employers and all is sorted. Appreciate all your help. Did not appreciate the woman who implied my employment should be questioned over this (did someone say compassion issues.....).

@Barkingfuckingdogs you are a prime reason I don't comment on here and therefore this will be my last post.
You haven't contributed to this thread other than to troll. You've literally contributed zero. Do you just sit at home scanning mumsnet to make useless unwanted comments? I urge you to do something more productive with your life x

So how was it resolved?

Interested to know what was decided too!

What I said isn't trolling.

Op I think you’re being unreasonable tbh. You’re a live out nanny so you don’t get any say what happens in the household. It is up to you alone how serious you want to take shielding/social distancing and you have made the decision to go back to work. Cleaners, engineers and delivery men have just as much right to go back to work as you, and risk assessment or not, your employers are not breaking any laws by issuing them. And you must realise that sending children to school is about more than just schooling and exercise, I’ll be sending mine back ASAP and I’m a stay at home parent who could keep them home all the time. I’d think you extremely cheeky to even mention to them that you want their children kept at home, and you want them to sack all their employees apart from you because you say so

@abanon (it won't tag) it is highly unlikely that they employ the cleaner and certainly don't employ the delivery drivers! I can see exactly why the op was concerned. And i don't think she was asking them not to have deliveries etc...?

I spoke to our nanny about dd going back to school to check she was comfortable with the heightened risk for herself (not pregnant or vulnerable). For all intents and purposes we have effectively combined households and what we do affects her and her husband so it seemed only right to give her a chance to speak up if she wasnt comfortable with that risk.

@hugglespuffed I think it is highly likely they employ the cleaner. That’s kind of how it works. And they’re presumably employing the engineer to fix something. As for the delivery drivers, are they meant to refuse their parcels because of the nanny?

@ Abadon34 - cleaners and engineers visiting houses are self-employed, or employed by another company. They’re not employed by the parents who are the employers of the nanny. So the legal rights and responsibilities are different.

@Abadon34 cleaners are self employed so no, i doubt the family have employed the cleaner. Maybe in some super big houses where they have cleaners in all the time but generally no. And actually if you read my post I was just saying that delivery drivers are not employees but also the op never said not to have deliveries?!

Sure you would get smp if shielding /on furlough

Yes your employers have to do risk assessments but they are basically saying that children aren’t carries so little /no risk to kids being back

Tho I get your point - but it’s not just schooling it’s mental and Enron am health as well for the kids

In the end it is their right to send their kids back to school

And tbh most children I know have gone back if in the age ranges allowed

Just going to pipe in here as a family employing a nanny who genuinely does take into account what our nanny feels comfortable with! Just because it's in your own home, doesn't mean you shouldn't still be a good employer! Your nanny family should discuss decisions about bringing cleaners etc. back into their home and certainly about sending their kids back to school! Our nanny was not comfortable with our cleaner returning so we've postponed it, to discuss again our city starts to reopen more. We have also discussed vacation plans and outings we were each considering to make sure both sides were comfortable. It would be fully within their right to find someone else if you couldn't both come to agreement about what was acceptable, just as you are within your rights to find another job if you don't like what they are doing. As I would expect with any boss, you should be able to have an open and respectful conversion about this issue. If you were working in an office and didn't feel comfortable taking the tube every day and exposing yourself because you were pregnant, an employer would not likely refuse that!