Let down by a childminder after 3 days

[Redanza]

Hi mums,
So I'm totally floored after finding the perfect minder for my baby, we had our bedding down week and I was going back to work this week on a part time easy week. I was quite ill so had extended maternity leave into illness period and am not due back to work untill Dec but in an attempt to get us both back working earlier I took 3 half days this week. The childminder agreed. So had agreed to drop baby off on Monday with her. All wasn't ideal on the first morning she was taking her own child to a class so I had to drop my child to a local community centre (who would be taking care of the baby if she's participating in a class with her own toddler) then on one of the pick up days I text her to say my other child school had called to say my other child was sick and if it was ok with her I would collect her first making me late for baby's 3pm pick up, this really annoyed her. So much so she has now said she will not be continuing to mind my baby. I now cannot return to work as planned, had planned our family holiday around her holidays and am left in the lurch. All paid for this week including hours she hadn't got my baby. Then she sends me text messages about me that were obviously meant for her husband when I text her to reconsider. She got annoyed I didn't fit around her own child schedule and hadn't the patience or the kindness to stick with me while I attempt to return to work after a long illness . Just zero compassion after 3 days just "this isn't working" and no real reason given ? How can I not take it personally.

The parent met the childminder at the community centre where they were attending a class. My parents meet me out and about all the time if they want to drop off later in the day- I’d never go out otherwise.

For a secondary school teacher you’re not too swift!

Aaah...! Ok! My mistake 😁

I have a trial period in all my contracts that’s says either party can give notice in first 4 weeks and finish immediately. If a parent is running late they meet me where I am I will not wait around for them as unfair on the other children. All new families have to fit in with the current children I care for and setting sessions are done at time’s convenient for me . This is usually done in my home unless it’s at a time we usually go to a group then the new one comes along too. Parents being late is really annoying and in the pasted I have had a parent who thought he could just rock up when he wanted too, to collect his kid. They paid until 4.30 but thought 6/7 pm was fine to collect .I gave notice in the end and will never be put in that position again , parent would be given a warning and if it continued noticed served. ( I don’t mind the odd occasion running late but repeat offends just puts your back up especially when they then don’t want to pay you for working later)

"...annoyed I didn’t fit around her own child schedule..."

It’s not clear from the OP, but this community centre drop-off was either a permanent arrangement or just something to accommodate you starting earlier than planned. Either way, you agreed it with the childminder. It is highly disingenuous to agree something then use it to accuse the childminder of favouriting her own child.

Besides, it’s perfectly normal to have a new client 'fit around' existing children. Most CMs I know will accept odd drop off times, if they’ll meet at toddler group, classes, etc.

I think that if who’s looking after your baby while the childminder attends classes is an issue for you, then a childminder isn’t the form of childcare you want anyway.

However, given it was the baby’s first day she could have stayed home that day so you’re not being totally unreasonable.

As for compassion, a few too many parents see compassion as a one-way street. They expect childcare providers to make allowances for them but give nothing back in return. If a childminder made you late for work by not being ready in time, I doubt you’d have compassionately sucked it up: more likely it’d be another thread accusing them of being 'unprofessional'.

There is a current of thought on MN that childminders just have to suck up lateness that wouldn’t be acceptable in any other business. If you’re late for the cinema/theatre they don compassionately wait for you. If I’m late for a dental appointment they cancel the treatment and charge me. In my area, group childcare settings such as nursery or preschool charge £20 the moment you’re late, plus £1 a minute until you arrive, no matter what the reason.

Oh yes, the lateness thing. It's the bane of any childminder's life. Mainly due to the small number of parents who think we have nothing to do after 6p.m..

Haha

My day starts again when my charges go home. I tidy up/clean the toilet and sink/ put away craft materials etc. /cook for my family/ drop off or pick up my teenagers from their activities/oh maybe have a rest after a 10 hour day.

Lateness is one of our biggest bugbears

If I took on a family who changed hours on day one then again on day 2 I'd probably run as if you cant keep to contract in the first week it's down hill all the way. Yes things happen and some flexibility but at the very start is a worry if you rang with half hours notice in thoese circumstances I doubt if she felt she could say no and it probably made her school run an issue.
My contracts have a 4 week settling clause for both sides walking away. I'd try to give some time for alternatives to be found if I ever had to use it, but maybe the changes and attitude were just too much to handle.
It's a duty to meet the needs of all children in our care, as childrens centre classes are open to all children the baby would attend and take part as much as possible there not sat watching or left with anybody else.
The baby bag....most cms have their own bag that takes all childrens stuff for outings as you dropped at the centre her forgetting it is not that big a deal it's a human oversite to forget something brought by someone else that you wouldn't normally take in the first place. Shes unlikely to ever take it out so wouldn't forget it again.

What do you mean by all paid for this week even hours and didn't have my baby? Is this hours after she ended the contract or hours that were contracted hours which you decided not to use?

Perhaps she hasn't looked after an actual baby before and has realised it's harder than she thought.

"Perhaps she hasn’t looked after an actual baby before and has realised it’s harder than she thought."

Perhaps read the thread. It’s clear the childminder has a child of her own, so it’s a reasonable assumption she’s looked after one baby at the very least.

Far more likely that she....took on a full time contract with a start date that should have already began, accepted a push back and reduced income due to maternal health so losing income, accepted a further change of start date and reduced hours, asked to change daily drop off, grumpy mum about accommodating existing routine becouse mum thought her childs needs should be the only consideration, last minute(yep 30 minutes is last minute) I'm going to be late suck it up notice of pick up, attitude of your paid so put up with all changes rather than an I know it's an inconvenience....all before the full hours have even started...

itsaboojum Perhaps think that I was referring to her job, not her personal life? Having your own baby (singular) is very different to minding a baby along with your toddler - it is acknowledged as different, the ratios for minding are different for example. If she had the chance of children to mind who were of a similar age to her own, that would be an easier option.
I can see my post was open to two interpretations but it's interesting how you went straight for the snide remark.

@hopelesssuitcase

At best, your point was entirely conjecture. @jannier's explanation makes far more sense.

Interesting how some MNers go straight for blaming the childminder in these sort of threads, and are over-eager to defend a mum with a one-sided story.