Am I alone with my nightmare nanny experiences?

[lilylove]

So far I have had eight nannies - and in my experience dealing with childcarers has been the most difficult thing about having kids. One was a compulsive liar who it turned out pushed my daughter round the local shopping centre with her friends every day while telling me she was at baby groups, one kept calling in sick because she was "depressed" over her love life, two went off because they got pregnant....etc etc.
Have I been unlucky - is it me? - or are there are other mums out there who have racked up as many as I have? Is my experience common?

all of 'my' families have had me until the youngest child in the family starts school! (4 years, and 2 years so far, hope to be in my currnet for a total of (at least) 4 years )

And i have every intention of being with my current family until the youngest starts school which isnt for another 3 years.... unless another one comes along before then

I admit I have gotten lost going to an interview even after printing off a map from google, I apologized profusly and the mum agreed it was a harder address to find. However, telling you she walked out on a previous job for any reason beyond serious badness from the family (serious overworking, taking stuff from her room etc) is no good. Id take it as a warning sign and if you did employ her, you would have yourself to blame if she did a runner.

MrsW, the agency in my view does not need to give a nanny instructions on finding a place, though a phone number is another matter.
Getting lost, to me, indicates a lack of planning... which is not a good sign. I am surprised she managed to get the phone number from 118118, as many people these days are not listed. It does show some initiative, but what if you were unlisted? Would have been better in my view if she had gone to a local shop and asked there for guidance, and possibly even a map if they sold maps.

The nursery job would need to explored further, as a trainee she certainly should not have been left with a group of 5 year olds. However, did she leave at the end of that day, end of that week, or did the leave the children immediately leaving them uncared for by anyone? Has the nursery given her a reference? Using words like "walked out" I feel isn't a major thing, especially if she is young. She probably doesn't realise that it could mean she "walked out" and left the children on their own, whereas she may have actually "walked out"/resigned at the end of the day.

With older children, I would wonder if a young nanny would cope... is the age gap sufficient for the nanny to have 'control' over the children, or will they run circles around her? However a young nanny with a lot of experience with older age group (such as from helping with Brownines/Guides, Beavers/Scouts) may well be able cope with older children.
If you need a reason to get someone with more experience, then do you need a driver? Someone aged 21+ is going to be cheaper to insure on a car, than someone younger!

elusis,

your comment

'went on to a more rewarding career than being a nanny.'

shows a real lack of knowledge of my wonderful career and a down right rudeness and insult to all nannies who love their jobs on here.

for those of you who have had trouble with your nannies, I feel waful for you as there are so many wonderful nannies out their that are proffesional and brilliant at what they do.

The interview proccess is so important, dont just settle for one interview, have two or three for you shortlisted few. Have a weeks trial with each, this way you are less likely to employ people calling themselves 'nannies' who are obviously unqualified, inexperienced people wanting to earn good money by claiming to be something they are not.

As for pregnant nannies- so what! I cant believe some of you are so insensitive! Could you imagine YOUR employers talking about YOU like this?! Blimey! I'm shocked!

p.s- and as for knowing more than you, sorry ladies but this IS often the case!

A qualified proffesional nanny is trained and knows ALL childhood developments from 0-16 years, diet and health knowledge, and so much more. Those with experience ( more than the ages of your children) will MOST certainly know more than you. Thats why you employ someone who knows what they are talking about, or whats the point in employing a nanny? What you need is an Aupair.

I'm just airing my views, as this is what this wonderful MN is for. I dont mean to offend anyone, but if I have then I do apologise, however, I will always stick up for my career, and my Proffessional Nanny friends.

i work as a nanny and i admit i am not qualified but i do have 3yrs experience as well as 8yrs experience of being a mother of 2.
i have found being a nanny is not the career i would like to stick at, i am only doing it as a stop-gap to earn cash, so i will be one of those moving on to something more (academically) fulfilling!

sorry fifilou!!!

Eight in five years is a lot I'd say.

I never looked after a child I knew more about than its parents.

Having a broad spectrum of experience and knowledge is all well and good, but it's putting it to good practice that makes a good childcarer imo.

And not being an unsufferable know it all when you go about it

Anchovy - your post was a Good Thing

Agree with allgonebellyup - not everyone finds their job rewarding forever. I don't nanny any more but I still work with children. I didn't find eleusis's remark insulting.

I don't count nursery experience in the same way as nannying. It's a different sort of job. Sorry, somebody asked about a nanny who grumbled about a previous nursery job but I forgot the name.

Fifi,
She went on to a creer that was more rewarding to her. Not everyone considers nannying to be the ideal career.

She had three degrees which she worked very hard for in Estonia when it was under soviet occupation. One in veterinary medicine, one in nutrition, and I can't remember the tird off the top of my head. So things like laundry and working for someone about 20 years her younger were not things she liked... understandably.

Your post is ... well.. a tad mellow dramatic.

As a career nanny i have come to realise that there are several types of nanny, from people like myself who have been doing the job as a career and others who see it as a stepping stone to other things or just a stop gap measure providing money/accomodation while waiting for the next thing to come about.

I wasn't offended by the comment made.

I wouldnt say I was being mellow dramatic, I would say I was merely putting my views down on a discussion page.

Allgonebellyup, as for 'acaedemic' as you put it, you obviously dont do the same position as I do. I am paid to provide a proffesional service which is exactly what I do, and I'm damn proud of it. (It is of course alot more to it than that, I care very much for my charges and we are very close.)

Nannying is what you make it, yes there are many numb skulls who think a trip to the park followed by a visit to the coffee shop is adaquate care for what you they are paid, however, I think very differently.

all nannying positions are different, part of mine is alot to do with supporting primary education. I find my job both rewarding and challenging, and having worked as a nursery nurse in a hospital, a Nursery teacher in a nursery, a nursery nurse in a school setting, and also as a primary school assistant, I can honestly say that this job by far is my most enjoyable and interesting job.

I love what I do and I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by like minded proffesionals in my working area of london.

As for know it alls- yes there are many of them, but I only ever give advice to my employers who do with it what they wish. I would never force a parent to do something I believe is right, my god, they are not MY children after all.

Am loving "mellow dramatic".

Tee hee

It is something of an oxymoron.

Great nickname, TheWoman!

Thank you.

Is it just me, or would mellow dramatic be a good name for a band? No? just me... Oh dear Ive had some sugar...

This lady seems to be making a habit of using MN for her "research"

look here

Not read all posts.... just original!

I know loads and loads of nannies (all but 2 that i have ever met i would willingly leave my own babies / children with, without even a second thought!)

In my experiance there are a LOT more bad employers wanting nannies than there are bad nannies

also as a nanny i dont think i would consider working for someone who has had 8 nannies... unless she was happy for me to speak to all / most of them 1st

Yes you may be unlucky and it sounds like you genuinely are unlucky, but in most (though probably not absolutely all cases) people who have loads of nannies have loads of nannies want to to leave for a reason...

(in the same way i have always remained with all my families until the youngest child starts full time school, and i know lots of great nannies that do the same... hence dont become avaliable for new work very often) )

After reading that article I think it's obvious why she's had 8 nannies - I wouldn't want to work for her by the sounds of it either!

sniggers a bit

My cousin posted a reply to that....she was FUMING. 8 nannies is excessive. As a child over my siblings and I only had 3 nannies over a total of 14 years. Then there were a string of disastrous au pairs for the next 3 years but that's another story.

hey fifilou, yes your job may be professional but it doesnt help you to spell any better does it?
So i take it you dont have to do any written work..

(sorry, being a biatch now)

Oh, I know of the OP. She's married to one of DP's colleagues. I'll get him to have a word.