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Aupair dilemma - anyone give some practical advice

30 replies

mishmash · 14/08/2007 19:23

New AP arrived 3 weeks. I had been in quite a bit of contact with her before her arrival so I suppose we knew each other before meeting.

She is a lovely girl but very forward. Her parents are coming to visit in October - we are away at the same time and I think she automatically assumed she would have my car and they could stay here. We need car ourselves for going to the airport and she offered to drive us there and leave the car at the airport on our return as she is going home with her parents for a few weeks.

I am half thinking of obliging her but I don't know her family and not sure I would be happy with them staying here when we are out of the country and it would mean having to put the dad on my insurance but then the other half of me feels that she is being a bit too cheeky.

Any thoughts

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penny50 · 18/08/2007 18:10

a complete cheek, they aren't your problem would you ask your employer to put you and your family up in their house? your nanny is your employee and there has to be a line between being friendly as she is looking after your children and letting her get away with something like that,because if you say yes this time what might be taken for granted next time?! who knows she may only be working for you so as her family get a cheap holiday then may decide to disappear! BLAA BLAA BLAA. sorry!

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Buffybye · 20/08/2007 13:16

You are absolutely right. Stand your ground because if you don't start as you mean to go on, she will take advantage.

I said my new summer au pair could have a friend to stay with her when we were on holiday so that she wasnt in the house all by herself for 3 weeks.
After pressing her for who was coming and when, she announced that SIX friends were coming. 3 couples.
She looked at me slightly agog when I said 'ER NO!'.
I agreed to the girls staying here (though wasnt happy at all, but I have 2 dogs and needed her to stay to look after them) and the boys camping an a local site.
Then, when I said I had cancelled the juice and fizzy water and reduced the milk from 2 pints to 1 pint per day whilst we were away she said 'but my friends might like to drink it'. Yes it seems she genuinely expected me to provide food for all of her friends! So I had to break the news that I would fill the fridge and pantry with enough food for HER and only her and that her friends could sort themselves out.
I also said that I would have the girls in my house BUT ABSOLUTELY NOT the boys!
But frankly, I have NO IDEA what actually happened whilst we were away - but cleaning of any type certainly didnt!
If only the dogs could talk!

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goldenoldie · 20/08/2007 17:46

as a comprimise you could say that you are prepared to consider it after she has been with you for a year and you have got to know her.

some au-pairs do seem to think free accomodation extends to friends and family, still, you can put her right!

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mishmash · 12/09/2007 23:35

Just a little update - there was a bit of friction between AP and myself at the beginning - wasn't used to such directness and as I put it to her being too "pushy" - we had a chat (as some other things cropped up after my last post) and we are getting on fantastically since.

I guess it was just a case of her being a teenager away from home - slight conflict of cultures and us getting used to having a different girl with a different personality living with us.

I can now say that I think I have a little gem!!

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eleusis · 13/09/2007 08:37

That's great, Mishmash.

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