Expectations

[CarrieDS]

We've had a new Au Pair or the last 7 weeks. She's nice, friendly and doing pretty well on the important things... she is calm and patient with the children, and they are safe in her care. Couple of issue's I'm wondering if anyone has advise on:-

1. She does zero tidying up. It's in her contract that she isn't expected the clean the house, but just to tidy up after herself and the kids. I don't know if she has misunderstood! Currently she leaves toys/ clothes (coats etc) out all over the place, and bits of half eaten kids meals/ plates all over the kitchen. She doesn't load/ unload the dishwasher ever. I wish I has said something week1 but I didn't, and now I feel awkward about it. We have 3 kids, but 2 are in full time/ part-time school/ pre-school and we give top end pocket money I believe (£150pw).
2. She isn't great at structuring activities and asks them what they want to do too much. I did explain this to her a few times, kids need direction and structure. It's manageable during term time, but this got a bit out of control over Easter holidays and now I am thinking ahead to summer holidays. Any advise/ success stories?
3. She knows nobody in the UK (we're in London) and I'm sure she must be lonely, although she doesn't show it. I have tried to help by suggesting places to go, how to meet similar people (facebook) but I worry she spends a lot of time at home/ in her room, which I think makes me feel more guilty than I would if she were off living her best life over here. Makes it harder to 'pick holes' about the cleaning etc.

Any thoughts appreciated.

Carrie.

I couldn't be stopped, there are 10s of thousands of au pairs in the UK and not 10s of thousands of childcare alternatives for school age children.

It just needs to be regulated. Most au pairs have a fabulous time and get to experience life outside their home country in a safe, affordable way, before starting their real lives.

I think the au pair situation can be fab when it works so I don't think it should be ended. But I wish it could be regulated somehow. I think New Zealand are going to impose minimum qualifications for all home childcare. I don't think an inexperienced young person should be in sole charge of a pre schooler.

I think it should be stopped.

@Iamnottheusurper - why have you ever been, had or met an au pair before?

£150 a week for 40+ hour?

The au-pair scheme is completely fine, but OP you are completely exploiting that poor girl.

As far as AP and money is concerned, the minimum rate for 20-25 hours is ~£80 but people usually do give more, especially in London. Then if the AP works more hours (some might be perfectly happy to, especially if she is Australian and doesn’t need to take English lessons), she should be paid those additional hours at the normal “baby sitting” rate, ie around £12/hour (as the reduced rate due to your offering a room and full board only works for about 25 hours, ie once she has been paid this low rate for 25 hours, she has “paid” for her room and full board, so any additional hours should be paid the normally live out baby sitter rate, not sure if I am clear).
So for 40 hours, I would give £80 for the first 20-25 hours and then 15-20 hours at £12/h so around £300 sounds good (and yes you do need to pay tax).

Now my children are older and at school FT with after school clubs, 20-24h per week will be the maximum hours work our AP need to do, and they get paid £160 pw.
Just to be clear we don’t see our AP as a nanny on the cheap. We could afford a FT nanny (we actually have a FT housekeeper) but we find it much more enriching for the children (most of them are teenagers) to spend time with a young adult, learn about different cultures (we’ve had a lot of different nationalities from all over the world), talk about what’s happening in the world, debate about anything, learn a new language sometimes, receive great quality help with their homework when needed...