Nanny and playgroups

[Sp1983]

Can i get some thoughts about nannies and playgroups?
We have been looking for a nanny for 2 days a week for my 2 and 5 year old. My 5 year old is at school so mainly it's the 2 year old at home all day. My LO has lunch at 11.30am, then sleeps from 12 until about 2.30-2.45pm. This is the time they would have to leave from home to pick up the older one. This means that after school drop off there is only about 2.5hrs of one-to-one time that the nanny has with the 2yr old before lunch, nap and pick up. And this is only 2 days a week.
We've been interviewing for nannies and they all seem unhappy that we've said we're not that keen for playgroups. They've said it's good for his social interaction and that they need some adult conversation.
My issues with this are- he gets plenty of social interaction the other 3days and are the playgroups for the benefit of the child or the nanny?
The nanny only really has to fill 2.5hrs of time in the day with him and I'd like that in that time he gets her full attention as once the older one gets home he has to share attention again.
I understand that nannying is a long day, but surely that is just the job. They all knew that most of their time would be with kids not having adult conversation. I also work in a job where there is not much adult conversation but my employer would never be happy for me to meet up with my friends and chat while i am at work. I would be asked to find a job where i could have social interaction with adults or do it in my own time.
I also feel that i am paying a nanny to do creative and educational things for my child. Playgroups are a way of outsourcing this so that the nanny can take a break and let someone else do what they are many to be doing. I can understand if it's a group that can't be done at home eg forest school, but singing and dancing can be done at home.
And it's only two days a week. Would understand more if it was 5 days and the nanny needed some variety.
Can i have your thoughts please.
Thanks

Whilst i dont think you're completely unreasonable in what youre asking...

Your attitude and tone of posts suggest to me that you are very controlling and wont be easy or enjoyable to work for. As someone said above.. you do your job and let the nanny do theirs.

Gottalovesummer - Of course you support them with activities if needed but you don't follow them like a shadow, ideally to support school transition you network with other minders and split the room so that they seek support from other familiar adults as per EYFS.
2 to 3 is young but with many now starting school nursery with a ratio of 13 to 1 at this age they do need to be able to start to sort out disputes like I had that toy, with an adult stepping in when it isn't resolved. Many of these children will be in school for 30 hours in September, not something I agree with but something many parents are taking up as its easier, as such early years providers are having to step up transition to school support which involves helping children resolve problems and deal with social issues. As a childminder they get plenty of 1 to 1 support with craft, fine motor skills, reading, puzzles for 9 hours a day so 2 hours at a group should have a main focus on separating from main carer similarly for Nannies.

Isohungry i don't think I'm controlling at all. We had a nanny for a year and she pretty much did whatever she wanted to do and we never said no to any of her suggestions. We had her for 3 days a week, and she planned everything and just let us know what she was doing. We didn't even tell her not to take them to lots of groups, but she thought herself that at a young age they should be getting 1:1 attention most of the time. So i don't feel that i dictate what the nanny does. With the exception of "I'm not keen on playgroups", nanny can do whatever she wants- as our previous nanny did

For 2 days a week I'm with you on this. I attend a couple of playgroups which the same childminder turns up with 10+ kids (she has a helper) and then pretty much ignores them for an hour while she has a chat. There's been a few times children have been injured by fighting or climbing on things they shouldn't. I get the nanny might want to get out and its good for your ds to socialise with other children but he also needs that one to one time too.

Sits firmly on fence

Yes it’s good for children to get out and socialise - which you say you are happy for. As long as no playgroups

Children learn to share and play nicely at M&T. With diff toys and may have craft play

My own 2yr goes stir crazy if in house all day. We do a variety of M&T - care home - music - animals each week

In the end yes you are the boss and nanny does what you want BUT it’s also not good to micromanage nanny

Can you book in a class like music tumbletots etc

Or can she have a similar ages friend round for a play

As weather gets nicer it’s nice to go to park farm walks etc

For the sake of 2 days a week, I completely agree with you. I was a SAHM for 5 years. No way would I do a group every day. I did some groups, some 1-1.

Some playgroups are amazing. Some really aren't. Unless you're lucky I can't imagine you're surrounding by such wonderful playgroups that they simply must be visited to the exclusion of the park/mooching about the house/1-1 crafts etc.

Im a nanny and yes i agree with the OP.
I care for a two year old as she has started day nursery on the days i dont care for her. I purposely stopped mum and toddler group and decided to do walks, farm, park , music group instead. I felt she was spending enough time indoors/group situations in the week.
We do however meet up.with other nannies and or village mums and toddlers. Either meeting for walks, park, or for coffee. For example last week a nanny friend and helped the toddlers to make mothers day cards.
I would also say that at our local groups its definately the nannies who keep a closer eye on their charges. We have had children fall off chairs, escape out of the building and all have been with their mums.
When i meet up with nannies their is very little personal chat. We usually prepare activities, read books, play games with the children. Dont forget we are nannies because we enjoy being with children.

there

Find this interesting as my 11 month old has just started with a childminder who takes him to a group every day. He’s her only charge at this point in the day so I guess I could ask her not to do it every day (4 days per week). He does also have time playing in the house in the afternoon. I had thought that the groups might be good for the socialisation aspect, but now worried she’s just dumping him there and having a chat 🙁

Harriet what time do you collect your dc? If they still have a good few hours post nap of 1-1 quieter time then I wouldn't overly mind a group every day. I think in the OPs case the problem is that the morning is the only time the child would get that.

Harriet I really wouldn't worry.

You can't dump/ignore an 11 month old. They need constant interaction/playing with/reading too/cuddling with. Most aren't even walking at that age.

And as mentioned above, and I'll confirm this as a cm, it's the cm and nannies that interact the most at playgroups. This is our job after all, not our social time. Of course we talk to other cm's/mum's, but please be assured our focus is on your children.

Having said that, I only do groups x2 a week as like to take the children to the library/park/beach etc and do plenty at home too.

Thanks for the reassuring responses (and sorry to derail slightly). Yes, he’s not walking (though standing by himself and a speedy crawler so a total liability). She has an 18 month old in the afternoons so does play with them both then.

It’s nice to get out in the morning. Then play at home after sleep

As always there are good Nannies. And mum. And bad :ignore their charges /children Nannies and mums

If you use a cm Harriet you can’t tell her where to do / what to do - she’s she and dictates - if you aren’t happy with her services then you need a nanny

Which going back to this thread - op - you can say to nanny no M&T but reassure her that you are happy with parks farms walks playdates etc

I'm with the op here. I'm a nanny and although we do go to playgroups occasionally, it is usually only on days where I'm feeling a bit tired/ run down/ pouring down with rain and don't want to walk too far. But other than that, I much prefer taking the kids outdoors. They learn so much from being outdoors. There's playgroups I've been to where other nannies and a big group of childminders completely ignore and are (in my opinion) not very warm towards the children. It breaks my heart. I find it difficult to watch and so we try to avoid it. We usually go to farms, zoo, woods, parks, library, local shops to pick up bits for their house (milk bread etc...) and of course plenty of playing and reading at home. Nannies are a luxury, they aren't cheap. And I feel that parents often choose a nanny over nursery for the fact that they want their children getting out and about. I think everything in balance is how it should be.