Don’t know if I can afford childcare

[Aaliah1234]

Hello all,

I’ve returned to work for 2 days a week (I’m a teacher) whilst hubby looks after baby. He’s also working part time as he’s doing a PhD. We’re eligible for tax credits and housing benefit too. It’s a shame it’s come down to us relying on help but hopefully in the next two years we should be in a better position

My dilemma right now is that up until Christmas hubby will be looking after DS whilst I work. After that he may need to travel abroad for his research. I would obviously need to arrange childcare.

There’s a nursery near the school I work at which costs roughly £650 a month. I’m not sure how I will pay this if I continue to work.

I know I can’t claim the childcare vouchers before the deadline as DS doesn’t need to go to nursery until December.

If I claim the tax free childcare I become ineligible for tax credits which means I won’t be able to pay my other bills.

Is there a way round this? I don’t want to quit my job and rely just on benefits.

DS will be 2 in July 2019. Would he be eligible for the free childcare scheme for 2 year olds?

Would you then be eligible for the childcare element of tax credits?

Have you done the online calculator?

Op tax credits will pay up to 70% of your childcare costs. Much more generous than childcare vouchers .

It’s not a luxury again. We are both working

Totally your choice how you live your lives, but of course it is a luxury to

a) have a small child (most expensive in terms of costs
b) you only work 2 days a week
c)pay for course costs for the PhD
d)your dh work part time only around his studies.
e) Have a baby so early in to your career

In terms of financial planning all of these are things most people need to either be on a good family income to afford as you go along or to have saved up a lot, in advance to subsidise them.
You can't possibly argue that doing all 5 at once is not a luxury.

That's not a criticism of your choices - we all know there are outside factors in all the decisions we make in our lives. However, most families on a budget would have to choose to postpone at least one, and maybe two or even 3 of those to be able to afford their living costs. You (as a couple) choosing not to, puts things into the 'luxury' definition.

OP the figures don't stack up. £65 a day is £130 a week - even if you pay for 52 weeks (most nurseries charge for 50 as they close over Christmas / Easter weekend) that's £6760 per year which works out about £565 a month.

That to me then is judgemental as you have no idea about the circumstances leading up to these decisions. DH was earning £50k a year when these choices were made. Due to certain circumstances he had to leave his job. Now that’s too much detail to add to this thread and not necessary as that’s not the purpose of this thread

And about my job, due to DHs salary, it was never necessary for me to work. Working for me at the time was luxury as it gave me a break from home.

I agree it is a choice but not a luxury

Once you find a nursery you can tell tax credits how much it is costing and they pay an additional amount towards the childcare, I thinks it's up to 70%. Even at 65 a day it would only cost you £19.50. This would obviously depend on your household earnings.

Childcare is extremely expensive, there's no cheap way to do it unfortuantly unless you have relatives to help.

I live in a very expensive part of the country but I have found nurseries at £50 a day.

You just have to struggle through until they are school age I'm afraid. I earn a good wage but even so there's not enough left to

It's worth looking at childminders. Their daily cost is likely to be less than £65 and you may be able to find one who will do term time only (or just charge a retainer over the holiday). They often have more flexible start and finish times which may be useful if you need to make a very early start. Plus once your child starts school they may do wraparound.

We found a really good childminder (up north) after looking around

£30 a day for full days
Local nurseries were between £40-£50 a day.

Obviously it's your choice re childminder vs nursery, but if you have discounted then because you like the more formal and educational aspect to nurseries, could you switch later?
So child minder till LO is 3yrs, then nursery from 3 till starting reception?

My LO has just started reception this year and is one of the youngest.
He absolutely thrived at the childminders, but if he was not quite old enough for reception this year I would have considered nursery to bridge the gap

Claim vouchers now and keep them. I claimed them from when my daughter was one month old and I had enough to pay the first couple of months when I went back.

Thank you all for your responses. I will have a look at around to see if there are any nurseries that will be cheaper. Or I could take him to my mums for one day and nursery for the other day. That would be 50% cheaper lol

I know I can’t claim the childcare vouchers before the deadline as DS doesn’t need to go to nursery until December.

^Yes you can- I did this and had a nice stash when my DS started nursery

Are you both free on the weekend? It sounds like it. I think for the next while he needs to use the weekend to study, 2 days working while you’re off and then there’s three days he can mind baby. So no childcare costs.

Working 2 days a week is a luxury and having a DH who only works part time is also a luxury!

You will get people on here asking why you are expecting more government help when you aren’t both working as much as you can first!

I’m a teacher, I use a childminder as it’s cheaper because I pay term time only. I only work 3 days, but I do this because we can afford for me to do so as my DH works full time and we saved enough to cover it.

I have plans to do my PHD and need it for my career progression (Ed Psyc) but it’s a luxury I can’t afford while I’m needing childcare.

You will earn more teaching than you pay in childcare if you look for a term time only option. You could also do some exam marking in June/July and look into some private tuition, you can easily earn £25 a hour for some subject.

Doing a self-funded PhD when you can’t afford to is a luxury. It’s different if you’re being funded. As you say it’s in a non-science area, it’s not like he’s going to be walking into an academic/research post afterwards, given how competitive jobs are for those who have funded PhD and tonnes of experience.
Both DP and I have put our PhD plans on hold for now as we earn more working FT than we would whilst studying funded PhDs. Childcare costs will ease up once your son gets to school in a couple of years - it is a struggle for now, but it does get better!

Two things impress me with this thread.

First, it hasn’t (yet) degenerated into the usual ignorant attacks on childcare providers for daring to charge fees that barely keep them in business.

The second is that so many decent NMers are patiently offering good advice and perfectly reasonable views in the face of such "me, me, me" petulance from the OP.

There is nothing wrong with people making judgments. It’s what defines a mature, thinking adult. If you put something out on the World Wide Web then you should expect it.

Intelligent debate amongst free-thinking adults is not the same as dealing with a class full of disempowered children who can be told to sit down, shut up and soak up everything they are told according to your curriculum agenda.

If you only want people’s opinions when they coincide with yours, then you need to take your financial 'difficulties' to a sympathetic and obsequious friendship group. On a public’s message board, it’s best to be a bit less touchy.

Having spoken to many parents who where adverse to childminders and in view that you don't wish to say what it is you don't like im going to add some comments.
We are all registered by the same Ofsted teams as private and school nurseries and judged against the same criteria (EYFS) so an outstanding or good school, nursery and childminder should be offering equally good care. This includes things like socialisation and school readiness, education and welfare.
Childminders are usually now qualified to the same level as a nursery manager and many have degrees as well as the same senco and specialised training to meet the needs of each child (Ecat, ELKAN, Autism support, Behavioural management, Allergy training, WOrking together to safeguard etc).
Chidlminders do not always work alone and can have co-minders and assistants up to 4 adults working together before they become childcare on domestic premises. Those that work alone typically network with others to allow separation from main carer, group circle times socialisation opportunities and back up cover.
Child-minders are typically cheaper than nurseries and more flexible allowing for term time only contracts and overtime like for parents meetings and courses.
Although school runs are very educational as are visits to shops and libraries local woods, parks and farms you can always find one who doesn't do these things as some parents prefer the idea of children being confined to one property.
Safeguarding wise all adults over 16 in a property including any regular workers have to be suitability checked just like school and it is as safe an environment as a nursery.
Some parents worry about baby bonding with another adult and baby being confused by who is mummy, this never happens baby always knows who their parents are and going to a cm is like going to aunties and happy welcoming environment but never as good as mummy and daddy cuddles, but you do know exactly who is looking after your child.
Sickness and holidays - many have back up cover and typically have few days off with holidays tending to be in school holidays if they have their own child or with up to a years notice and you can always look for one who works with others.

Childcare is expensive. I was reminded of this when I was reading a report on BabyCenter on childcare fees from state to state-

community.babycenter.com/post/a69207068

I’ve often relied on my partner for childcare since I have to go to work outside the flat. We did look at the cost of daycare providers for our area. Sometimes I wonder what other people do for childcare. Have you looked at childminders?

They’re a financially viable option? Also what about the free childcare
scheme for 2 year olds? It’s worth looking into. Can you afford nursery or not? It’s part of why I essentially wanted to be a freelance childcare provider for the travel industry.

Thanks all for the detailed info and advice. I’m not going to address the people cristicing me for my choices here as that defeats the purpose of this thread.

I’ve looked at Childminder’s and even spoke to one. They charge about £40 a day. I would prefer him to go to nursery as he is home alone and although I take him to baby groups he’s still a little awkward around other kids.

Also, I’m still a little apprehensive about him being around someone that I don’t know. I know people send their children and most probably he will be fine but I just need to get to terms with it. The fact that he can’t speak yet and won’t be able to tell me if there is anything wrong. But Maybe that’s just me being a little bit over the top with how I feel

Well he can’t tell you what’s wrong at nursery either then can he? There have been far far more reports of seriously abusive and neglectful behaviour by nurseries than childminders btw. (Actual childminders, not babysitters or nannies incorrectly reported as childminders). And I don’t get your point about him being on his own at home and still getting used to other children...

Regardless, this seems a pointless thread. You asked for advice, have poo pooed every single suggestion given by several posters. Not sure what you were expecting to be honest, probably for everyone to tell you to give up work altogether.

Excellently put Itsaboojum

Aaliah That to me then is judgemental as you have no idea about the circumstances leading up to these decisions.

.......which is why I put That's not a criticism of your choices - we all know there are outside factors in all the decisions we make in our lives.

But - each of us has to look at the circumstances in our lives, at the time we make choices. Then, as adults, we review those choices as circumstances change. So, if your dh was lucky enough to be in a £50K job, then the choices worked for you at that time. Then, you say he had to leave that job, so the circumstances have changed. Now it is your turn to step up and bring the family money in for a while. You can't genuninely think it is reasonable for the public purse to fund your childcare, because your 'don't want to' work more than two days a week, when you have the skills and qualification to be able to? Or your husband wants to be able to study further, but hadn't saved enough out of his very high salary as he went along, to fund this period of study ?
As everyone keeps trying to explain to you - you (as a family) have chosen to do several things at the same time that are a drain on the family budget. The way to afford to live, is not to do all those things at the same time.

Your DH could choose to defer for a year?

Childminder is still great to get your DC used to other children and certainly cheaper with a term time only contract.

Having one parent studying and one working only 2 days per week can only mean zero luxuries and most likely getting into debt

A childminder is £25 a day cheaper and you won't consider it? That is ridiculous, and you are being judgemental about childminders.

I've used childminders and nurseries and both have been good. The first childcare I ever used, as a teacher on m3 incidentally, was absolutely fantastic. She hung out with another childminder every day to do activities so there would be anything from 4-8 kids being together. The social side was excellent and my Dd flourished.

In my opinion, and in your shoes, I would be working a bit more (or perhaps your dh can work part time job at weekends?) and seeking out cheaper childcare in the form of an ofsted registered childminder.

True this has become a pointless thread despite everything I’m getting attacked for my life choices when no one knows how we’ve come to be in a position that we are. We had saved our money to get us through this but DHs family asked for it to be spent. This is a whole different story and I really don’t want to get into it.

@georgiethegorgeousgoat I haven’t pooed over peoples responses over here. You can expect me to make up my mind in 2 seconds. I did say I will look at other childcare providers and childminders and did say that’s it’s probably me just being over the top when it comes to Childminders.

Have you actually looked at childcare choices? Checked if youre eligable for 2 year funding? Checked how much your tax credits will go up by when dc is in nursery?

Sometimes i dont know why i bother!