What to do when....

[Butterscotch2405]

I was wondering, if I was to set up as a childminder, but I need to feed my 4 month old daughter to sleep upstairs, what do I do with the minded child?

I have had a Mum say to me she is very keen to start childcare with me, and that her wee girl is used to being popped in a cot in a dark quiet room and she puts herself off to sleep for her naps.

So would I be able to pop the minded child in a travel cot downstairs, watch her on the baby monitor upstairs and nip up to feed my daughter to sleep for 15 mins and then return downstairs again?

I have told the Mum this is what I would have to do and she is fine with this, what do you all think?

Obviously, the ideal scenario would be where my daughter puts herself to sleep also, and I will be working on this, but in the meantime whilst I am still feeding to sleep, would you be happy with this scenario if I was your childminder?

Which ever way I do it, one child will be watched on the monitor and I will be in the room with the other, so either it’s my own daughter on the monitor or the minded child.

Both babies in the same room won’t work as they will distract each other and won’t go off to sleep.

Any thoughts welcome.

Thank you.

A bit confused I’ll admit...

‘If you were to set up as a childminder...’

Yet you’ve already met a potential client?

Honestly, as a cm I don’t think it’s ok to leave a child for that long whilst you are upstairs.

Is the other child going to sleep? Surely your 4 month old naps more than once a day?

What will you do when you get more mindees?

Yes I have been speaking to a Mum about her being my first client when I set up.

Yes the girl my daughter would have one nap in cots together at the same time, then both nap together in a pushchair when we are out later.
I would time activities to ensure we are out for a walk when they needed to go down for their second nap.

Because my girl and the minded child are both quite young, I would only have those two just now; I would Not take on any others until they were much older and not napping anymore.

Thank you for your advice.

I wouldn’t use you and tbh I wouldn’t use a cm who had their own baby there anyway because I think their baby would always, understandably, be their priority. However, others would undoubtedly be fine with it, especially if you lowered your rates.

How old is the other child?

And don’t underestimate how long it takes to get registered. 13months for me!

The other child is 13 months.

Thank you for your advice, so you would recommend that I get my wee one self settling ASAP then?
I know I need to do it anyway, this will just spur me on!

It will take along time to get registered by which time you child will be older and who knows what her routine will be then.
Likewise the 13 month old will also be older and in a different routine.

Having had 3 kids quite close together the odds of the kids sleeping at the same time is next to none!! Even in a buggy etc, I think you are being very optimist that they will fall in line with your imposed routine!!

Some days I have 3 kids under 3 (all over 1) . I manage to get them all to nap at the same time. The lie up on my couch with pillows and blankets. I sit on the floor and they go to sleep. They love it! So it is possible.

A cm I knew looked after triplets who from young pulled a cushion onto the floor and went to sleep all in a line!

brieandchilli I have three of my own children and have been a childminder for 12 years. I get the children who need naps to go down together for their naps (in separate rooms) pretty much every day, just as I did when my own dc were small.

I don’t see the problem with the other child though? She is used to being put in the cot and going to sleep by herself. She doesn’t need watching continuously while going to sleep and I don’t know any parents who would expect me to do this. Ofsted require you to be within sight or hearing of the child, so in the case of a child in a cot going to sleep, hearing is fine in my view.

By the time you are registered things will have changed anyway and your baby may well not be feeding to sleep. I know you say you won’t look for other children, but once you are working, you might not be able to say no. Partly because only looking after one child is not very financially viabl, by the time you have taken of all your outgoings.

Thank you everyone.

See, my logic was that if I had two of my own kids, I would be fine with putting one in a cot and watching them on the monitor whilst I was with the other.

I have told the potential Mum that this is what I will be doing and she said this is fine.

Regulations require a CM to be within sight and hearing of children at all times. This can be done using a monitor, so long as you conduct regular physical checks. I believe inspectors expect checks every 10-15 minutes, so you’re on the limit of this in the situation you describe.

As mentioned, the whole situation will have changed in the time it takes to register. I think a more pertinent question is, how long is your prospective client prepared to wait for that?

Starting small and building up can be a good thing, but can you manage financially? CMs do a lot of unpaid hours on paperwork and planning. About 1/3 of income is lost on running expenses: this proportion rise so to as much as 1/2 if you have fewer paying children. Your own child is counted within your allowed adult-child ratio, so you’d be limited to two paying preschoolers for a few years.

Don’t worry overmuch about people who wouldn’t send their child because you have one of your own. They’re entitled to their view, and will probably just use a nursery anyway.

The OP read like the other child wouldn’t be sleeping but that you’d put them in a confined area whilst you dealt with your own baby. And that’s what I wouldn’t be ok with.

You do seem to be quite ahead of yourself considering you aren’t even registered yet.

Just to clarify the child in the travel cot would be there to sleep. Probably falling asleep within 10 minutes. And my daughter would feed to sleep upstairs within 15 minutes. Then I could pop up and down to check on both.

Sounds fine to me.

I would ensure the minded child is asleep then attend to your own.

I would also start your DRB check ASAP, in tandem with your course as it takes forever. Then it's a wait to get OFSTED round. By that time your daughter will be ready for pre-school.

Just joking. 😊

It’s good that you’re thinking ahead. Being organised and ready for things beats crisis management in my book.

But take care not to over-organise: aim to build in some flexibility. I wouldn’t rely on dictating when children sleep, because they may have other ideas. Many parents choose a CM because they want someone who I should understand so children and responds to their individual needs. If they wanted the adult-centred regimentation of 'sleep time', 'song time', 'god knows what else-time', all run to a strict timetable, they’d probably be looking for a group setting instead.

I don't get why you cant get 2 to sleep in the same room, 25 years and always got children to sleep downstairs in the same room with non sleepers having quiet time or playing quietly up the other end. Even if I've had a play date we get 3 or 4 to sleep in the front room.
13 month old may well be changing nap times soon as they transition to one longer afternoon nap.
Often babies that need total silence and darkness in one place don't need it in another.

By the time you get registered your baby might be self settling anyway. When I first started, I looked after a little boy who was happy to go to his cot and sleep. This left me free to sort out my sleep resistor. A monitor is fine for 10 mins. If you ever do over night care, a monitor is fine for all night.

As others have said, don't worry about details like this at the moment. It could take 6-12 months for you to be fully registered by which point both children will have very different routines to the ones they have now. You are getting way ahead of yourself!

You are writing as though this arrangement would start straight away. But in reality by the time you have gone through the registration process your child and the potential mindee will be older and probably both will be in completely different routines.

As a parent, I wouldn't be up for this, having had 2x 4 month olds, they don't just feed to sleep in 15mins, they are little hell raisers who need almost constant soothing and certainly wouldn't be up for coordinating their nap time needs with a toddler. Having had 2xtoddlers, they certainly wouldn't have tolerated being left in a cot a few times a day whilst a 4 month old was settled in a different room. As a parent I wouldn't concider this safe for my child. Pram naps would be a safer solution imo.

As a parent who has 2 children with a childminder I would have no concerns whatsoever. It's no different from my childminder leaving her other 2 children (one of whom is my son) whilst she puts my daughter to sleep upstairs. She doesn't have a monitor for them but it doesn't normally take too long.