Ok so I know some children are slow eaters, but............

[star1976]

......it has just taken my DD (8) over 45 minutes to eat 2 Turkey Dinosaurs and about 10 oven chips. (Nutritional disaster I know but honestly trying to get her to eat anything is a nightmare).

She is driving me insane. I try not to make an issue of food, just give her what I know that she does like and hope that she eats it. She does know that if she doesn't eat her dinner there is no pudding or treat of any kind afterwards.

When have older mindees here try to get her to try the meals that they have (which I stress are always healthy, no Turkey Dinosaurs for them) but with no joy!!!!

She would live on peanut butter sandwiches given the choice!

Suggestions please????

DS1 was like this.

We took all the stress away and had carpet picnics on a blanket in the living room for a while - with food such as chicken drumsticks, carrot sticks, dips, soup from a flask etc.

Another thing that worked well was offering everything in serving dishes when we all ate at the table, so he could serve himself whatever amount he liked.

He is now 11, and eats without any problems - although he still eats very sloooooowwwlllyyy.

All she will eat is...

Peanut Butter Sandwiches
Jam sandwiches
Butter sandwiches
Jacket Potato with butter, taken out of skin and mashed
Oven chips and turkey dinosaurs
Pasta/spagetti but only if plain
Mashed potato, yorkshire puddings and a sausage
Pizza base (home made) but with no toppings
Plain fried rice from chinese takeaway
Shreddies, cocopops, toast

Doesn't really like sweets as such, but does like chocolate, crisps and cakes. Obviously not allowed them if not eaten what has been offered.

Star,
I feel for you. My DD (now 4) is a miserable eater. DS (now 2) will eat most anything.

For DD, we sometimes have to:
1- Put down the food (it is what it is, and "I don't like that!" spoken is a repeated miserable winy voice will land her on the naughty step).
2- Set the timer for a resonable time (say 20 minutes)
3- When the imer goes off if she has eaten every last bite, she can have a treat. If she hasn't (and I do mean EVERY last bite) then she is excused from the table. She is not in trouble of she doesn't eat, and I do not beg or negotiate deals. I am not a short order cook, and I expect my children to eat what they are served.

Incidentally, I do make her eat vegetables. The diet you describe is not at all up to my standards. I don't mean to be hard on you, I'm sure you are at your wits end as I sometimes am. But, I do thing children will eat if they are hungry enough. And I also don't really subscribe to the view that eating junk is better than eating nothing.

Does she like pizza? I sometimes do things like shred a carrot (or chop spinach), mis it in with grated mazarella and then spread it on the pizza. Or, of course, many vegetables can be pureed and mixed in with mashed potatoes.

star - is your DD malnourished/thin?

With all our children (two stepsons, 9 and 12, daughter, 2.6) I just provide one meal, same as the one the adults are eating. Obviously I don't serve up things they all really hate, though sometimes I do serve something one of them doesn't like much. The meals are always nutritious and balanced and my partner and I always eat a serving of everything - I think children need a good nutritional role model.

If the children don't want to eat, so be it. There are always mozzarella, ham, cherry tomatoes, bread, bananas etc around for a nutritious snack for those who don't want to eat the meal I serve. The one thing I get very cross about is children whining that they don't like the food - they can refuse what is served politely, and politely ask for something else.

I never buy any form of junk/fast food, so don't have to contend with that issue. Very occasionally the children have an organic, chargrilled hamburger for lunch - they love them, and they have weaned them off McDonald's which they now find too greasy.

Must say I agree with you on this one, Anna.

i am the same with dd lately, one day(normally sat morn) shell eat 3 or four things for breakfast, the next week, like this weekend, she either winges about her food or takes that long its stone cold and awful..she loves pizz, so on friday night i cooked her pizza and oven chips.........it took her 1 and a half hours JUST to eat the pizaa..i made her leave the chips as they were cold and greasy, next night she was the same, she does gets lots of snacks or sweet/sugary treats..but the amount of time is ridiculous!, im setting a max of 1hr for next few weeks (even that is long time for her portion) then ill take it away, she can eat at a more reasonable speed, but jsut sometimes likes to drag things out

would she drink a smoothie? Just feel at the age of 8 she should be having more fruit and veg than that ie none. You could either make your own or you can buy 100's of different flavours.

LOL, that should have said she doesnt get lots of snacks or suagry treats!LOL

eleusis -

Peanut butter sandwich sounds better to me than turkey thing and chips.

Can you try introducing some veggies at lunch time? Salad veggies are possibly less "threatening" than cooked dinner veg.

My ds loves slices of cucumber, wedges of tomato, pieces of pepper, a spoonful of sweetcorn, etc. He even loves olives, which I thought would be too much for a 3 year old. He does eat VERRRRY slowly though.

With your DD being that much older, you have probably got into a set pattern of eating, and she has become comfortable only with what she likes the most.

I think you need to be strong and start serving up more balanced meals. Don't offer any snacks between meals for a little while and see how you get on. Don't pressurise or get angry, just serve it up and leave her to it. A bit of encouragement may help. Or get her to help you prepare the food. Or make funny faces out of mashed potato by adding a few peas or carrots or something.

A balanced meal should be half a plate of vegetables, then for the other half a plate, two thirds of it should be carbs (pasta, rice, potatoes, cous cous, etc), and the final third of that half should be protein (meat, fish, cheese, tofu, etc).

I think you are the key to this, and at the moment she can really only eat what you serve up. If you let this continue, when she's older she'll be going to the chip shop after school and refusing your meals completely. If you can get her into good eating habits now, then I think you can avoid that later.

(Sorry if my views upset - I am a bit fanatical about this though - dh calls me the food police!)

She is 8 . Missed that the first time I read the OP.

If my DD acts like this when she is 8, I'm sending her to military school.

I gave each of my own children a day of the week each to choose the dinner. (gave them days that I didn't have to cook for mindies so it didn't matter if the dish they chose wasn't entirely suitable). They had to do all the work - writing the shopping list, coming with me to make sure I bought everything they needed and cook it themselves (with supervision!).

Both have their own favourites and choose the same each week but it seems to have helped. I guess they felt it was fairer to make an effort to eat other peoples choice of meal when everyone else has eaten their choice.

Franny I think the OP probably thinks she could start her dd on turkey dinos and chips in the hope that she might turn to chicken and fishfingers in the future.

If she only eats peanut butter sandwiches she wont get used to eating a more challenging meal with meat and veg.

No I don't aspire to Chicken and FishFingers and resent the implication! Upto the age of two she would eat anything that was put in front of her, and it all went down hill from there!

My mindee's are provided with a healthy nutritiously balanced diet, as is my DS (15 months). Obviously I encourage her to eat these same meals with them but she won't.

I hoped that when I started childminding the embarrasment of younger children eating better than her would have some effect but no luck.

I don't generally cook different meals for DD, but if we are having curry or chilli I know that there is no element of that meal she will eat.

She has peanut butter sandwiches most days for lunch so clearly I don't want her to have them for dinner too. I have taken her shopping with me and let her pick out ingredients for her own meals and she wouldn't them once we had cooked them.

I have tried the 'five bites' test with new foods and she nibbles off the most tiny amount first and then refuses another taste.

I have taken her to the doctor several times, who said that health wise there is nothing wrong with her, and not to worry. But obviously I do!

As for putting food in front of her and if she is hungry she will eat it???? If i do that she refuses her dinner, I say (and she knows) that therefore she can't have anything else (except fruit if she will eat it but all she likes is apples and banana's anyway).

Then what has happened before is that she has come downstairs in the morning feeling ill and shaking cause she is so hungry!

If I give her toast or a sandwich before bed to stop this then surely I am giving in and she knows she doesn't have to eat her dinner?

I really sympathise star, my ds (aged 2)is also a fussy eater and would also eat anything put in front of him (til 18months), he then entered the toddler eating stage and also has a small list of things he will eat (mostly things he can feed himself). I too have dubiously tried starving him into admission I too had the same result. A very hungry, upset, stomach pained toddler.

Within reason I leave a plate of food ds has eaten out til he eats it. Luckily he will eat a good mix of fruit and dairy, wholemeal/grain bread, some meat, some veg hidden but it is damn hard and please don't feel bad. I too would give her a timer, no pressure I think, and less stress for you. I feel I should share that my sister's dd has always been a picky eater with the appetite of a sparrow, and had a smaller list than your dd, health visitor with plenty of experience told my sister not to worry, give her food you are both happy with her eating and try not let it be a battle. She is much better now than she used to be, so there is hope. hth
Kay

8years old that is being bit picky, too picky at her age. I ave a 2 year old who I look after and wen I started she apparently was picky with her food and wud eat only a small bowl, mean really small amounts. I started doing a stciker chart 8year old mb too big for that, but that has worked quite well. She still bit slow,i have started counting numbers as she tends to worm her way out of things lol.Giving her too much of what n only she likes thats all she will live on, cuz she knows u will give it to her, she dnt make a fuss. If i had a child where this happened, well it's eat it or get nothing.harsh i know but they gotta learn, or id wanna least them see try. I wud start not giving her evrything she ;likes tho. I dunno everyone has differ opinions on these sort of things

I wasnt being fascetious!!

I was sticking up for you actually!!

What I was trying to say was that by not giving her a peanut butter sandwich you were not giving in to her and trying to give her a 'proper' meal in the hope that in the future she would eat something like fishfingers (which is not a junk food) or chicken or lamb or beef!

I am trying to do this with ds2 who is 2.6yrs. By giving him chicken nuggets I was hoping he would move on to chicken or lamb. He will now try and fishfinger but it is gradual.

dont be so huffy!

star, I have to say I agree with others on here. serve up a meal. if she refuses to eat it then she goes without.
If that then means she feels ill in the morning then that's her own fault. She is old enough to understand actions and consequences. (ie, if you don't eat you'll feel ill)
If she chooses to do that then so be it.
Offer her a healthy breakfast and so start the day.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a force-feeding type of person. I could not stand peas as a child, and as a result I would never force ds to eat something that he had tried and disliked. But if I serve something up that I know he eats then it's that or nothing.

Peanut butter sandwiches are fine....with a drink of milk/fruit juice and a piece of fruit.If you can make it with wholemeal bread then excellent then well and good...give her that x 3 times a day until she asks for something else,( unlike adults childre tend to like eating the same thing...), and then say ' what would you like ?'
Above all else stop worrying...and believe she WILL be fine.....Enjoy making nice meals for yourself and anyone else who wants to join in....soon she will be one of them

I can understand you being worried, Star but as long as your DD is growing normally, I can't see what you would gain by making mealtimes a huge battle.

My DD was really picky till she started kindergarten, then all of a sudden she started asking for green beens for tea. Complete change because until then she hadn't touched veg at all. The kindergarten has a policy, that we have adopted at home, she is not allowed to say "don't like it" unless she tries it.

It is important not to let it escalate into a powergame between her and you. Take the pressure off a bit, I bet you sit with your teeth clenched and one eye on her plate at all times. Try to relax and sneak something healthy in every so often, maybe she will surprise you.

I'd try offering her more variety on her sandwiches, egg mayo/cheese/ham & smoothies are a gret way to hide fruits plus you can also add yoghurt/seeds & nuts.

Will she eat soup?...Soup & bread for dipping is very popular with a lot of children.

Sorry PPP! Felt like everyone was ganging up on me! If I didn't think her eating such a limited diet wasn't a problem I wouldn't have posted!

Def going to try the timer. And I am always trying to think of new ways to get her to try things. Really seems like she has just closed her mind to trying new food. Have cherries and mango in this week (as well as the usual grapes, melon, apples, oranges, bananas, blueberries, blackberries, kiwi) and won't even try them! Got her to make a fruit salad once and all she wanted in it was apple and banana.

Tried explaining that if she never tries new things she will never find out what she really likes. Told her to imagine that she had never let herself try chocolate cake! She could be missing out on loads of other things that are just as yummy (but so much healthier).

i think the timer will put too much pressure on her. what is the actual problem with her eating very slowly? yes it is annoying, but apart from that?

can you offer the meal in the centre of the table for people to choose their amounts and let her take what she wants and leave her to it? if she's happy to sit there for 2 hours then so be it. so what? if she gets up and eats nothing then so what? she gets a poorly tummy, wakes up hungry and maybe eats some breakfast?

or go with the peanut butter every meal option. the see what happens. she likes it, she may go off it.

let her see that life goes on while she's mucking about with her food.

She always eats her breakfast, the one meal she is really good at! Cereal and toast every day.

How can she eat mashed potato that has been sat for an hour? Or pasta that has completely dried up?

Surely if she ate the meals when they were put in front of her they would taste better anyway?

It just drives me insane to be honest. Been having the same silent battle for years now and I really think that she is old enough to eat a proper meal like everyone else.

I don't expect her to suddenly love brocolli (sp) and cauliflower and sprouts (yuk), but I just want her to TRY new things.