CM Club - Advice about poorly baby please....................

[looneytune]

Morning

I have 2 sisters 3 days a week, baby started at 7 weeks, now 4 and half months. The older sister is nearly 2 years old and started at 6 months. The parents of this family always send their children in when poorly and 'try it on' a lot with 'oh, they are better today' and then go to work. Well, I don't mind having snotty kids, lets face it, they're always snotty aren't they! LOL BUT, I'm getting really fed up with them bringing them in when it's clear they should be at home!!!

Now I have other families and they are not my only mindees those days, I feel I can start being tougher about all this. Last week baby was dropped off with cold (no problem) but soon became clear that baby had conjunctivitis so I INSISTED she does to the Dr asap to get drops and said I would NOT take baby with conjunctivitis. Sister came next day but baby didn't - just how it should be! Yesterday they were both dropped off as usual but then I get an email from the mum (au pair drops off) saying how she'd been ill and that her eyes were still gunky and the drops are at grandma's - WTF?!!?!! Anyway, I cleaned baby up as soon as we got back from school and kept an eye out - she was fine but if mum thought she wasn't - why did she send her Anyway, that gives you an idea about what the family are like. What would you do about this????............

Baby is so snotty at the moment she has a TERRIBLE cough and keeps being badly sick after feeds as just so clogged up in her chest (and my poor sofa is a right state!) If the sickness was down to a bug, I'd definitely send home BUT I know this is because of the cold so it's not covered in my policies as a 'send home' illness. HOWEVER, baby is needing a LOT more attention, I have to keep a much closer eye on her as if she has a coughing fit, she's likely to be sick and need holding/tilting forward (don't want her choking on it!). Would you send home? I have 3 under 5's turning into 4 under 5's from 2.45pm - seems so unfair to leave the other children because of baby needing so much attention, especially as my 3 year old mindee only started on thursday.

Please advice, I really need people to stop taking the micky because I'm too soft. If you all tell me baby is too poorly to be here, I'll feel better about sending home!

TIA

I would send home.

Time to get tough!

I know it's hard but I think you have to on this occasion, particularly as it is clear the parents are trying ir on tbh....

hi!

I think you need to sit down with them and have a chat to stop this from happening over and over again.

Children are often ill, and you could find yourself faced with this problem with other parents if they think you are ok with this family doing it to you.

Be firm but fair, say you understand their situation, but an infectious or very poorly child needs to stay home until they are better.

Tell them that this is the policy for all nurseries, day care centers and chilminders.

hope this helps!

The way I approach parents is to say that other parents expect and Ofsted require me to provide a healthy environment for the minded children.

You can explain that Standard 7.12 requires childminders to have a "procedure for contacting parents or another adult designated by the parent if a child becomes ill whilst in the childminder's care".

Vomit is vomit. I send them home regardless of whether I think they've caught a bug or vomit was caused by something else. I called a mum once when a child was sick - I was sure it was because of the 5 bowls of custard he had at home for breakfast before he arrived. But I'm no doctor - supposing I hadn't called mum and he was really quite ill?

Will reply properly later as got to rush and make lunch but just wanted to do a 'VIRTUAL SCREAM' ARRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Mum phones me on school run - 'she was fine last night' and I said 'well as soon as she was dropped off this morning, I could hear her breathing from upstairs - it was like a train' and mum says 'oh dear, well au pair finishes at 4.30 and is going to try and leave early to collect her' ARRRGGGHHHHHHHH .

Will definitely be doing something about this. No more Mrs Nice Looneytune!!!!

I keep trying to get on here to reply to you all and ask a few questions but baby has been sick AGAIN so can't stay - run out of clothes now Mum is TRYING to get au pair here for 3pm, how she can not rush home from work (own boss!) to collect her poorly baby i do not know!!

I'm having lots of thoughts about policy changes, newsletters etc. so will be back later when the madness has gone!!!

Ayla99 - going to be starting a thread about the 'vomit' side of procedures. For now though, can you tell me how you deal with small babies though as they can quite often bring up some milk after feeds - just interested as I like the sound of this but not sure how i'd deal with this baby as she's sick quite a lot anyway

I think she is really out of order. I think I would give notice tbh if it were me as she seems to do this quite a lot and have no regard for you or the other children in your care.....

I would be fuming

Not a childminder but as a parent you drop everything when a child is ill. Myy dd had D+V at nursery once and they rang me said she needs picking up now

I would phone her and say you WILL pick up now. Had amum like that child fell and hit head on door, I took him straight to A&E as had a HUGE egg, phoned mum to meet us there, she didnt turn up so phoned when got home 2 hours later,@Well I thought as you were taking him I didnt need to come back' was her reasoning, I said he has to be watched for 24 hours I have 4 other children You WILL come and get him, Like you this mum was always dropping off sickchildren, once he was sick jusy after she went, phoned her and she said he had been sick as they got into the car, so she had changed him as she needed to go to work and knew I woulndt take him!!!

Yes, I'm fuming mad!!! Au pair is fuming mad too (she's been emailing me). How dare the poor babies mum try and get au pair to finish college early but not leave early herself!!!!

I don't want to give notice as I love these kids to bits and also, 2 children also means lots of money lost. I may well bring in a rule about so many strikes and then you're out type thing. Anyone else do this? I know others do but not sure how it works?

Right, all 3 shouting for me now. Bets go

I am shocked, really shocked. What is wrong with this woman? I would come get her like a shot.

I would tell her she will come get her, NOW. Not a request or you will be calling her emergency contacts.

This is way out of line! Poor you , and that poor baby!

as a nanny and nursery nurse I am not at all suprised by this womans behaviour.

Fortunatly the family I work for now are brilliant and vey caring. They have me to take care of the boys at all times, especially when they are sick, however when I worked as a nursery supervisor, lots of parents brought in sick children pretending they were fine, and this was because they couldnt leave work.

It is unnacceptable but it happens. Unfortunatley you are going to have to be firm or it will keep happening.

In the nursery we called the parents the minute we noticed the child was ill (we had cases of chicken pox, conjunctivitis and even dia. so bad the childs pants were soaked and they had still been brought in!) The parents were always so cross, stating they had a very important job etc, and that thats what they paid the nurserty for- to care for their children, WRONG. To care for their well children.

when a child is ill it needs to be at home, cuddled up- dont we all?

it is not fair on you, or the other children in your care- what do your other parents think of this?

like I said before, have a sit down with them, tell them you need to have a chat, and explain to them you have to put the other childrens needs in your care into consideration.

Right, i have about 15 mins before I need to get toddler up and get 3 kids shoes on, in car etc for school run. I've decided to come and moan on here some more rather than have lunch - I'm too angry to eat tbh!

fifilou - all parents have tried it on with me apart from 1! I would have got tougher earlier if it wasn't for circumstances like only having mindees from that family etc making it feel less easy to send them home. Well, I've been childminding 2 years in July and I've HAD ENOUGH of being messed about like this and I really DO intend to get tough! Certainly with this family - most who saw the thread about their au pair will know how bad they are FULL STOP! Plus, I'm sure she's pregnant again!!! - why???!!!

I've spoken to my dh and he agrees about not giving notice (I was almost in tears when I was telling him I couldn't understand why mum would not rush home to baby ). I do however need to have some kind of system where they get a strike when xyz and so many strikes = notice. I just don't know how to work this?

ayla99 - thanks so much for the great idea for wording I'm still interested about this no vomit thing

Shoshable - I'd love to say the 'pick up NOW' thing but it's difficult as parents office is in London so would take at least an hour to get to me. Not that she was ever planning to leave early though - her business is far more important than her au pairs college course, sod the fact the au pair has exams coming up in the next couple of weeks!! So, how would I deal with it WHEN mum says 'errrrr, well, i'll see if errr..........' How long would you give them to collect before calling emergency contacts?

What gets me more about all this (and please don't think I'm angry with poor baby - no way!) is that I washed all the baby toys, the cover to my bouncy chair thing, playgym, playmats etc at the weekend, took ages to dry and straight away ruined again I put sheets under her wherever I put her plus a muzzy under her head and the sick goes right through it. I have a baby on Thursday's and Friday's and no way can these be washed and dried in time for tomorrow morning

So much for my happy post on Friday! lol

Right, my time is nearly up and baby has done a big 'baby' poo so best go and check the damage then it's school run and hopefully au pair will be here just after we get back.

Looney, that ,much sick is not normal nor must it just be down to cold/cattargh...i know you never expected this mum to come out, he just doesnt have the track record does she, its alsways someone else running round caring for her LO's which is very sad, but keeps you in work and at least when theyre with you, you know they are safe and happy.you may have to re jig your policies to state sickness of any kind-do not bring in, sickness of any kind when there- immediate collection..i have also let this slide when i knew it was more to do with cough than bug, but ATEOTD you cant keep all of them safe and happy when this poor little one obv needs one to one care

Looney tune, you need to tell the parent that the child needs to be picked up NOW, she has to leave work NOW, not when she can get au pair to get her, if it takes a hour for her to get to you what about the father, I would tell her that she has the time it takes her to get to you or you will phone her emergency contacts.

I would then give her a written warning about children being brought to childcare in what is obviously not a fit state. On the letter you could put the Standard about keeping children heal;thy, and that 3 written warnings will result in termination of contract.

only prob is tho, i think the emergency contact IS the au pair???

Well, baby has gone at last - au pair arrived at 3.30pm. I will be doing a policy change, newsletter & letter direct to that family. I have got emergency contacts so the poor au pair isn't used again - this is a really important time for her at college! I don't feel I can do a written warning this time but will say i will in new policy and will follow that procedure WHEN they do this to me again!!

Pinkchick - I definitely think this sick IS due to her chest as it's as a result of a coughing fit and ds used to produce loads like this - full of mucus yuck!! HOWEVER, I've been talking to mum about my concerns on her bringing up milk after feeds as it's been worse recently and not just since her cold. I mentioned Reflux and the Dr mentioned that too but mum decided she thought it wasn't?!?!!!! . I'm bringing this up again but also want to have something in my policies about vomit, just not sure what?

Thanks everyone for helping me through this, I've got a stinking headache (probably not helped by lack of lunch) but at least I'm down to just the 3 under 5's now - a lot easier to deal with without a baby needing constant attention

p.s. au pair said baby was NOT ok before she came. She was so bad that she wouldn't feed well at all and mum told au pair to run baby a hot bath. Sooooooooooo, mummy's telling porkies again - surprise surprise!!!

I need advice again. Baby is stil very chesty and snotty so still having coughing fits followed by bringing milk up, not as bad SO FAR but we'll see.

She has been like this for just over 2 weeks now but I haven't been given any medicine or anything to help. Do you think I should be? Or because she's so young (5 months today) it's best not to?

I just feel so bad for her as it's really making her miserable at times, she's not feeding as well and is bringing up milk with coughing fits so taking even less feed.

PLUS.........I've now caught it so have suffered the bad chesty cough and now have a lovely streaming nose and eye

Any advice as my head is all foggy today.

TIA

In case anyone suggests she visits a Dr, please first read the update on this thread (see message on Sat 12th May)

do you have consent form to say you can seek medical attention in their absence?, then if so 8you8 should take baby and ring them on way, say you were too concerned to ahng around as its has gone on too long now.

But surely I need to speak to parents first and give them another chance to go to the Dr's? Couldn't I get into trouble for interring? As it's not like an emergency situation is it?

I suppose I'm wanting to say something like if she doesn't go to the Dr I will no longer care for her like this? i don't know, just trying to be careful and tbh, I can't think straight today as feel so rough

Be back after nursery run, thanks PinkChick

5 months, you can't give anything other than Calpol, I think it's even under 2 years. You suspected reflux didn't you?

No, LT you can't really can you, but I do think the "have her seen or I won't take her". I just worry about the parents being upset and not wanting to bring them, but you are fed up anyway, aren't you?

Crace - they give her Medised and cough mixtures at home which I suppose is why I was annoyed about getting nothing. I've checked and Medised IS ok from 3 months but Tixilix (which I was told they'd given her) is from 1 yr old - I didn't know that! I've never given baby ANY medicine myself.

As for the Reflux - yes, I suspected it and even Dr at one point did (but mum is more qualified of course! ) but it's really hard to monitor atm due to the cold she's had all this time. Also, some points from the info I've read about what Reflux can cause.....respiratory problems; pneumonia, bronchitis, wheezing, asthma, nighttime cough, apnea, aspiration, noisy or labored breathing, constantly running nose; sinus infections.....so I want this cold looking at in case it's linked as they can help with Reflux but it won't just go away on it's own.

I'm just so fed up with being told she's ok when she's not. I just wish they'd go to the Dr's! I've been late for picking ds from nursery a few times due to her having a coughing fit and being sick just before I'm due to leave and of course I get her changed etc - can't leave her like that

Off to make lunch as need to get mindee down for nap asap so has enough sleep before the next school run.

Thanks for the advice, keep it coming

OMG - I was rushing off for lunch as everything is tight now I have new pre-school mindee and guess what............her lovely dad has just emailed me to say as he's at home, he'll pick her up to give me a breather AND 'I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON' That is SOOOOO lovely isn't it. That means we can stay indoors the rest of the day And it also means I won't be having 4 under 5's for 3 hours later (normally don't mind but I really feel like cr*p today )