It's that old nanny or nursery dilemma

[NorthLondonmum83]

Would love some thoughts from those with experience of this...We both work five days a week, I have some flexibility and not very long days and live central London with a short commute. 9 month old and 2 year old. Going back to work and the 2 year old already in nursery. Baby can join, the baby room is nice enough. Cost of the two in nursery is massive, it's the same pound for pound as a nanny so I'm in the nice position of being able to choose the best option rather than worry about cost - (well, I do have to worry, it's a bloody fortune, but I mean there's no difference so...) I'm keen on a nanny...about to interview someone who looks amazing. Love the idea of kids at home, no pick ups and calls when they're sick. Question really is my 2 and a half year old - he does like nursery but I'm sure he'll adapt. However can he be socialised and get enough interaction with other kids? I'm sure yes but I don't have any friends who have gone down this route to ask....

We’ve got twins and I go back to work soon. Paying a nanny, her pension, Ofsted registration fees and the admin costs of PAYE etc is comparable to 2 x nursery fees that my friends are paying for their 1 year olds. It’s crazy money, we are also in London.

I’m feeling a bit more relaxed about going back to work as I don’t have the nursery settling in or the mountain of dreaded sick days to start with. Just have to hope that the Nanny is as good as we think she is!

Longer term I’ve thought that Nanny & Pre school would work well. Although I understand that this will be slightly more expensive as nursery fees go down at age 3 but obviously Nanny costs won’t. I haven’t looked in detail at the economics but I can imagine the convenience and good for the kids will out weigh the cost saving.

Nanny every time! I’ve done both but a good Nanny is brilliant. It is so much less stressful as you don’t need to get them out in the morning, no worries if the children are under the weather and can’t go to nursery. Dc were much happier at home and going to groups than long days at nursery too

Cactus round here a nursery is £86/90 a day for one year old. Gross Nanny cost is c£16 an hour plus pension.

Extras depend on how frugal your nanny is. We had a nanny who was very conscientious with our money and generally went to library, park and playgroups (£2 a time) rather than £10 a time classes. Although we chose to pay for some like swimming lessons. She always took packed lunches for the DC and barely ate lunch herself (we offered to buy her food so many times!!) I have heard of nannies who think £12 on softplay is a normal morning and expect salmon fillets and organic veg for their lunch... Checking references is key (call up and have a good chat).

Cactus not nosy at all I should probably have said - I'm looking at slightly over 3k per month for either option, not including nanny extras.

Nanny, no question.

Sick days alone make it worthwhile. Plus nannies usually have (or quickly develop) brilliant networks and your ex-nursery child will love the play dates and one-on-one attention

Oh my goodness - extras are nothing with most nannies round here, a pound or two here and there for a bus and a playgroup. Mine is brilliant at making the most of museums and other things that are free.

My kids had a nanny and only started nursery once they got free hours. In no way has this held them back socially - they spent time with other kids at groups and out and about at playgrounds, but not much, but it didn’t make difference. They are both confident and friendly with other kids, as well as unusually mature and thoughtful. They are both hugely ahead in speech, language and literacy too.

I think the 1-1 nurturing of a nanny is so much more valuable than socialization of nursery. If you are in the fortunate position to do it, I strongly recommend.

Could you split it- nanny 3 days and nursery 2, so when the free hours kick in it gives you some saving, they get the social factor etc?
My friend has just gone from FT nursery to pt nanny and pt cm to balance costs and flex
I have 2 kids one at nursery and one wrap around school. I plan on using a housekeeper/ nanny /au pair when second is at school to be able to do more life stuff with them
I love our nursery but feel they don't get as much just playing at home and in puddles etc as I'd invisaged my kids having!!
Nanny for convenience would win if level costs and it was 100% time at one option

Also whoever said it’s worth it for not having to stress about sick days alone is spot on. I have friends who used every day of holidays for two years covering sick days off nursery.

You could maybe check out local childminders too- can be a happy medium between nanny and nursery. CMs can create a home like atmosphere and have daily trips out but not taking place in your actual home so less admin and stocking up in advance for you than with a nanny based in your home.

Also CMs can have some of the advantages of a nursery if they have other children at the childminder, so good socialising opportunities with similar age DC but on a smaller, more family sized scale.

Nanny, hands down. Your life will be so much easier with a good nanny. Kids willl be more relaxed, days can be planned around how they're feeling at that time, you can decide how to feed them, nanny will wash their clothes and bedding so you get more quality time with them.