How do you feel about relatives collecting?

[Doglikeafox]

I'd love some opinions from other childminders, and maybe parents on this please. Yesterday a child was due to be collected at 6:00pm. All of my other mindees went home at 5:00pm so it was just me and her. At 5:15pm the mindee's mum rang and asked if it was okay if the child's grandma came to pick the child up instead of her. I said of course, that was fine. I have met the grandma before ( a while ago) but the mindee is old enough to recognise whoever is at the door anyway.
It might also be worth noting that this child has recently expressed quite a bit of anxiety over who is going to collect her at home time. She is fine once I can assure her who is coming, but if I am ambigous (often I don't know if its mum or dad until they get here) she can get quite anxious.
Anyway, 5 minutes later grandma arrives. 40 minutes before child is due to be collected. I opened the door a tad surprised, but said it was fine (It was) and apologised that the child hadn't had their dinner yet and I'd just get her coat. Grandma says 'oh please could she have her dinner here then?' so, again a bit surprised, I said yes but that it wasn't ready yet. I invited her in and her (teenage) granddaughter who was also with her. After 10 mins of awkward convo dinner was ready, I served it up, child ate it (another 10 mins or so) and then I said goodbye and they left. DP and my tea was ready at the same time but I didn't feel like I could eat with them there so our dinner went cold.
As soon as they left the house I felt like my home had been invaded. I feel like the children and parents that come into my home quickly become friends, but this was a lady (and child) I barely know and I wasn't actually prepared for guests. The dining room is at the back of my house so they had to walk all the way through to it, which is an area I don't usually have parents never mind about unknown relatives. My washing was out, I hadn't tidied up from arts and crafts this afternoon etc and I just felt uncomfortable with the whole situation. I think it's already difficult to feel at home in a house primarily used for work and things like this make it even more difficult. This is my home and I don't want strangers traipsing through, commenting on my setting.
Am I being really unreasonable? I know there's not really anything I could do differently next time but I'm still thinking about the situation now.

Gm had teenager with them so presumably she was going to feed her.
She arrived 40 minutes early. Dinner was nearly ready so it's not like op was shovelling food down the child 10 minutes before pick up time. Many minded kids eat with the family but it isn't a spectator sport for random relatives.

Gm should have either taken child or came back at proper time.

Next time op make it clear you are just about to sit down with your family for tea and they can come back later.

I wouldn't feed tea to a child before 5.30 as no way would they last until the morning and parents would need to feed again. I also think family should eat together so if possible should go home. This g ame 40 minutes early.

If it happens again tell her to come back in half an hour if she wants the child to eat first.

Guess depends on the child and what they are used to

I've fed as a nanny tea at 430 and sometimes may have snack of fruit /rice cake at 6/7

Others nothing and my friends children eat at 630 but another friends child bang on the dot of 4pm

I just meant if mindee was leaving at 6 usually then tea at 530 seems late as they may have to rush it then cm tidy up

School children are used to having half an hour to eat often less at school (ours is 20 mins) the cm will tidy up after, we pretty often are still working tidying and doing paperwork until 7 or 8, but generally most tidy toys away before tea and then have story and quiet time like drawing when they finish.

Older children generally eat later the old idea of tea at 4 really doesn't suit many school children as a last meal in my experience and its much better to eat as a family and share the day so when many children leave at 5 to 5.30 no reason why they wouldn't have dinner at home (slow cookers and batch cooking is great for this).

I think half an hour to eat tea is plenty.

The cm isnt going to be tidying up until the child goes home so thats not going to have any bearing on the minded child eating. (some tidying up will be done with the kids before tea)

If the gm and her gd were not there the whole family would have sat down to tea with the minded child, as it was they didnt want to be watched while eating so everyones tea was late except the minded child.