Oh knickers, b*ll*cks - I'm in deep poo and I need to rant (could do with some happy ending stories of finding perfect nanny at extremely short notice, too....)

[Gizmo]

This serves me right - I was so smugly certain that I would find the perfect childcare option before I had to go back to work after DS2. I mean, all it needed was a bit of organisation and proper planning, right? And I'd started thinking about it in August (yes August) last year. So what could go wrong?

Weeeeelllll, it seems that plenty can go wrong. Firstly I spent until December looking for a nanny share family. No joy. So I asked around among friends re a nanny share. Some friends said yes, then they said no - January. Another friend said yes, her husband then got cold feet and decided he'd prefer an au pair. Mid February.

I redo our sums. We can afford (if we live on beans and I tolerate much sulking from DH) a nanny salary which isn't generous but is just about adequate. I start interviewing on this basis and we find....a wonderful woman. She's Canadian, well educated, experienced, caring, reliable, organised and available to start asap. Her references are hagiographic. I'm in nanny heaven.

And this morning she has emailed me to say she can't take the job . AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I am committed to go back to work on the 19th March. After the first nanny share friend backed out I did reserve a back up nursery place for DS2 and DS1 can go to an afterschool club. But I'm not totally comfortable with either institution and the logistics are going to be a nightmare.

Oh whinge, whine, whingetty whinge. Anyone have any experience of finding a perfect nanny for a minimal salary with one week's notice?

Anyway, thank you all for listening - I feel better now....

Gizmo, here's my nanny on short notice story:

Sunday evening before half-term, DH and I looking forward to a week of heavy meetings, it's 6pm and I pop upstairs to see if our nanny is still OK to babysit for DH's birthday dinner later that night. I find her prostrate in bed with what is clearly a particularly nasty dose of flu.

By 7pm I've got onto our local Gumtree site, tracked down a recently arrived South African primary school teacher, living nearby, doing supply teaching and looking for work during half term.

By Monday lunch time she's making lunch for the DDs and organising an afternoon of painting and play-doh. She worked for us for the rest of the week and was fabulous.

I suggest that you accept that you may have to live with someone who is an interim solution with the possibility that she may ultimately morph into a permanent nanny. Try Gumtree, nannyjob, TNT and your local agencies. If you're going for Gumtree, advertise yourself (£18) as you get a much better response.

Where are you?

I'm in Cambridge, Eleusis.

Thanks Issymum, it's nice to know it can be done. I have great faith in Gumtree (wondernanny came from my original advert there) but I am only offering £250/week net for a live out job, so the range of applicants is always going to be limited.

I've just called the nursery and booked DS2's settling visits for next week. I only hope it goes well - I'm all out of options now so I'll just have to grin and bear it if it doesn't

I wish you lots of luck, £250 is a very low live-out wage...You may have more luck finding a permanent Nanny once the college term ends.

You may be lucky enough to find a temporary Nanny however who's looking for work for a month or so.

Gizmo, have you tried pinching some staff from a local nursery (not neessarily the one you use)? What about an ad at the local college/uni? You might even find two part timers to cover all the days you need.

Live-out must be much tougher to fill than live in. I feel for you.

I too am embarking on the nanny hunt (for an 02 July start). I so wish I could just offer £400 net per week and then I could have the pick of the crop. But, sadly, by budget is limited and it makes hunting a much bigger chore. But, there is light at the end of the tunnel as I thinkI can drop down to an au pair / childminder combination in SEpt. 2008 and finally save a tiny little bit of money.

on that wage you may have to look for a childminder. Have you got the list of vacancies from your local council?

I know, I know . It is a low wage, but I'm hoping for a new job this year and should be able to pay more then.

Still, I'm happy to take someone who is still training (their attitude is more important than qualifications for me) and I've had a number of applications from people who want to move out of nursery work. For which it would be a fair wage, I'm told.

Anyway, I've just recontacted a lot of the ladies who got in touch on the strength of the original Gumtree ad, so hopefully the nursery/afterschool care will only be a temporary measure.

Gizmo,
Have you tried searching gumtree ads for families looking for nannies, and maybe contacting them to see if they are interested in a share?

Oh sorry, quietmouse. Yes, I did go through the childminder route, and at the time I was looking (early February) I couldn't find one in Cambridge with space for DS1 and DS2.

Hey ho. Am feeling more resigned now, in a stressed out kinda way. Doesn't help that DS2 woke up at 5.15am this morning

You will find someone Gizmo. Sending positive vibes your way...

Have you tried putting up an ad in the local tesco?

I'm liking your style Eleusis - why do I get the feeling you've been there and done that?

Actually I've just opened my email to find a message from a very experienced nanny who is looking for a job to which she can bring her own baby. So options are appearing, which is great - I'm starting to feel more perky already , although no better rested.

Also, Gizmo, do spread the word out in any sort of childminder circles you can - not necesssarily the council lists; if there's an NCMA chilminding network it's worth getting in touch. Sometimes the very fabulous childminders, the ones who never need to advertise, suddenly find themselves with a whole group of vacancies if a family leaves abruptly. Happened with mine.

Gizmo given the low salary a nanny with her own baby might be a good idea - because it is in effect a nanny share isn't it?

Gizmo, when my nanny went on 6 month maternity leave last month I still didn't have a replacement. I had first advertised in December, not a good time!!

Anyway used gumtree and took out an advert on the nannyjob site here in February and got loads and of responses.

OK some you wouldn't touch with a barge-pole, but I have now got a lovely nanny who started the next week!

BTW I pay similar to you.

Good luck!

Yes, Bozza, that's how I look at it. I've spoken to the nanny on the phone and she sounds extremely nice - she looks after the Tottenham WAGs and their kids every other Saturday - we might be a bit of come down on the grooming front, at least .

Plus I've got a couple of other ladies to talk to this evening.

On my own, I think I'd be confident of finding someone very soon. I do need to get DH's buy-in though, which will take a little longer. That's the downside of having a DH who cares about the kids, I guess...

Hey, Gizmo, I find if you make the choices really complicated DH gets overwhelmed with the options and says "whatever you say dear". And I get to choose.

I organise the childcare in our house. Sometimes that's a burden, and sometimes it's a priviledge.

Yes, I've been round and round the nanny merry-go-round a few times. I pay a little bit more than I used to. But still not up to mumsnet standards. I'm very honest about what's on offer from the get go. I just say something like "I'll be perfectly honest. You can find a family who will pay more in London. So if the money is really important, then this is probably not the job for you." Sometimes they scatter away. And sometimes they come back and say they appreciate the honesty and they are willing to work for less. I find that I generally end up with someone who needs a bit more experience before they can ask for what the agencies have been quoting (always an inflated figure). The downside is after they have been my nanny for a year or two they generally move on to a better paid job. So, I have to put up with some employee turnover. The up side is I can afford her (just).

I fear some people are going to come on here and give you a hard time about that £250 offering. If they do, ignore them and carry on.

I got my good one off gumtree at zero notice, and was happy with her. I interviewed loads and we clicked (the only one). Only problem with her was she only stayed 4 months then had family problems and returned to home country. Pay was average-minimum (£70 per day net, 3 d a week, to live in London) and wasn't the issue, I offered more to get her to stay. She's still in home country now so it was genuine.

I just put an ad on the local www.netmums.com childcare part of the site (free and very local unlike gumtree) for a morning school-run childminder, and also found a good babysitter (registered local childminder) on there. I think you can advertise in small ads for free in Families online but not sure that covers your area, have a look www.familiesonline.co.uk/forum/categorylist/.

Gizmo - what is it with Cambridge and childcare? I'm in Camb. too and have had endless issues since we've been here. We've been stood up by several nannies and au pairs. Have made several attempts to find part-time nannies, on my own, through agencies, with gumtree, and all have failed for one reason or another (though we did have a fab one for 9 months last year...then she went back to America ;-()

Am now looking for replacement au pair plus or part time nanny (but temp only, and ideally only for 3 days/week though I think we'd pay for 4 if we had to at this point...), as current au pair has proven hopeless and I'm hopefully starting a new PT job in April. Meanwhile fab nursery right down the street where DS2 goes twice a week has announced they're closing. Perfect.

Wish you lots of luck and if you have any rejects who seem great and would be willing to try part-time on a temp basis, please send them my way! We'd share too, but prob. only makes sense if you're near us (nr train station and botanical gdns...).

Mizzan, I agree. Bizarrely, there seems to be no problem in finding a nursery place (although you'd have to like Kids Unlimited - which I know some don't) but childminders are chockablock and I guess finding a nanny that clicks with your set up is a problem the world over.

It sounds like you live very close to where I used to live - have you had a look at Harvey Road nursery? DS1 was extremely happy there and they do have some half day vacancies at the moment. Actually I haven't given up on the nannyshare idea, but the fundamental problem seems to be sharing with anyone who has a school age child at any school other than Park Street (where DS 1 is presently) - the logistics just don't work.

Eleusis - yes I know what you mean about the questions over salary. But you know what? Screw 'em. I can only afford what I can afford and I refuse to be belittled because I can't afford any more. I am totally upfront about the amount of money on offer - it's all over my adverts and I start every conversation with it. I have reduced the hours and duties down to a skinny minimum to compensate. And if I bond well with someone I will be making sure they have first call on any pay rise I have. So all in all I don't feel I'm ripping anyone off.

DH is hard to confuse, unfortunately and does have a distinct preference for the more 'educational' style of nanny, whereas I'm happy with someone who is caring and reliable.

hey gizmo. give me an email if you are still looking. i used to work as a nanny before my dc and was a childminder until last week. just found out im pregnant and have taken the decision not to re turn to it. however i would be happy to help out for a week or 2, even if needed a month or so while you search for a new nanny. have been to meet ups etc so people can tell you i am who i say. also i am a sahm so would bring my dd. understand it is a big risk to you but if you wanted to email me if you are desperate with the times etc may be able to help. wont be offened if you dont accept by the way. jolly _ holly 22 @ hotmail . com hth if not hope you find someone suitable quickly for you. x

I'm finding this thread very refreshing and so agree with you Gizmo on " I can only afford what I can afford and I refuse to be belittled because I can't afford any more"

I wonder if the standard rates are much lower outside London than we realise, but nobody is admitting to it?

I agree, too, Red. Oh, and my nanny definately has more disposable income than I do.

I just set my sight on the day that both kids go to free school full time and I get to keep some of my money. The first thing I'm going to do is replace my manky old car! Can't wait!!

But I too had more disposable income when I had not children. And also more time to spend it.

You'd have to be in a very well paid job to have more disposable income than your live-in Nanny, after all we have no expenses!

Yes, Scottishthistle, I am very well aware of that.