Anyone had a demi-pair/room in exchange for help set up?

[EdenX]

We currently have a traditional au pair, however I will be going on mat leave soon with 3rd child so won't actually need any childcare. I feel like what I will need is some help with cleaning and a night of babysitting a week would be great, plus we will miss having an extra pair of hands in an emergency (for eg I recently had to take a DC to hospital and au pair was on hand to babysit the other one).

We have a spare room. In the past we have hosted language students on a basis of providing a room, Internet and laundry facilities and breakfast and dinner, for £100 a week. I was thinking about offering a similar set up in exchange for 3 hours cleaning a week and some babysitting. Anyone successfully done similar?

I don't see the issue EdenX myself -the government might allow you to deduct £42 per week or whatever it is but this is potentially worth a lot more to a person happy to do the hours you suggest at minimum wage to live somewhere different for the summer.

Most people get paying jobs if they want spending money. If they want to earn pocket money by doing another 20 hours childcare, then there are hundreds of au pair jobs to choose from.

Oh dear Trifle

So many moons ago I did Camp America and got paid a measly $80 a week to do all sorts of hours looking after children after paying several hundred pounds to register and go through the visa process.

I took my own underwear and spent a bit of money on food, toiletries, etc. The rest of the money plus some of my savings I spent on having an amazing time with people from all over the world. I worked hard and learnt a lot - experiences I had there I still use now as a basis for how to deal with difficult situations in my professional life.

At no point did I ever consider myself to be 'a slave'. You can't put a value on giving young people opportunities and what OP is suggesting is not unreasonable.

I did exactly this arrangement for a summer holiday at university.
I wanted to stay in my university town to work, but didn't want to live on my own in a student house.

So got a free room in a house in exchange for babysitting a couple of nights a week and doing a bit of cleaning.

I had money, because I was working during the day, presumably as anyone living with OP under this arrangement would be able to do.

When I left them, I introduced them to my friend who ended up living with them for the rest of the academic year under the same arrangement.

Didn't occur to me that it was remotely exploitative. I'm still friends with them all on facebook, 15 years later

Most people get paying jobs if they want spending money.

Babysitting and cleaning ARE paying jobs. You just don't want to pay for them.

chickenjalfrezi:

I didn't say 'slave'. I do think this is exploitative. You don't have to agree.

Trifle, genuinely do you think it would be better to offer room only, pay £15, but not provide any meals or include them in any family activities?

No, I think you need to do both. Provide room and board and 'pocket money', as you would for an au pair. Stop fooling yourself that this is 'cultural exchange' or whatever. If this person is working for you in the home, you should be offering room and board, and giving them sufficient cash to make sure they can socialise and buy essentials. Stop being so tight.

It would be exploitative if OP was suggesting someone working FT for her with the proposed deal. I'd love to work effectively two half days a week and have my living costs covered! Then the rest of the week I could work for extra money/study/socialise.

Not everyone wants to work 25-30 hours as an au pair though Trifle - they might want to study, work in another job or just have more free time. Do you disagree with any kind of accommodation offset/accommodation forming part of a wage then?

I don't disagree with it entirely. I disagree it with on the sort of exploitative basis where the worker gets nothing but room and board. The guidelines for an au pair arrangement are c.25 hours a week in return for room, board and around £80-100 weekly as 'pocket money'. That is a nominal £3-4 an hour on top of what it costs to provide room and board. So even on that basis you should be offering £30 a week on top of, not instead of, room and board.

And that is if you genuinely won't be requiring ANY light duties around the house on top of 3 hours cleaning and an evening of childcare. Which I doubt will be the case.

As a foreign student, finding accommodation and work, stumping up a months' deposit, paying all rent and bills is both difficult and expensive.

Being paid for what - 6 hours' work by being given accommodation, food, heat, electricity, laundry facilities, internet etc doesn't strike me as exploitative.

If the op didn't stick to the deal and kept asking for ad hoc childcare, it would be different. But that's not how it sounds to me.

Lapinlapin:

Since when did we reach a consensus that it is okay to negotiate someone's pay based on how hard it is for them to do X, Y and Z? If I wanted to employ someone, could I go out and find the person who is struggling the most to feed/house themselves and pay them what I felt like, or am I meant to pay a reasonable wage to whoever I ask to work for me?

You're certainly entitled to your opinion Trifle. I have no doubt that the young women who have contacted me so far could easily find a full time au pair job if that was what they wanted.

Hmm. So now I have actually given some numbers, I am 'entitled to my opinion'? No comment on why you intend to pay so little, other than 'their choice after all'?

Or whether you will require them to be more flexible and provide ad hoc childcare?

Minimum wage for an under 25 year old is 7.05 (as of next week). The OP can entirely legally offer a room in return for 6 hours work - I'd suggest 2 hours cleaning (someone living in could do it in 4 half hour stints throughout the week) and 4 hours babysitting. As long as the OP in no way takes the piss in exceeding this arrangement, this leaves the lodger free for full time work or study and I honestly can't see why it's exploitative. Much less open to dodgy practice than au pairing actually. Assuming you don't live in the arse end of nowhere I think a lot of students would jump at the idea.

Why is an au pair arrangement vile?

I was an au-pair aged 18. I learnt a new language and although I only had just enough money to cover my social life it was a great experience. I put in a lot more hours "working" than I was asked to because I enjoyed spending time with the children. It was a great experience for me.

I can see being/having a demi au pair working well if you're near a uni. A student could save themselves a shed load of money in rent, as well as having the experience of living with a family.

In your position OP, I'd still have a full au-pair, and get them to do all the house work.

I do understand where you're coming from Trifle. And there are sadly loads of people who exploit others.

However, in this case I personally don't view it as exploitation. You clearly do, so we'll have to agree to differ.

The difficulties I mentioned earlier (i.e price of rent, bills etc)_ were merely to illustrate that in my opinion it makes what the op is suggesting a reasonable wage.

Look at it another way. If she were to pay £15 an hour for 6 hours ' work, I'd say that was pretty good. Then in return she could charge the student £90 a week for board and lodging (also pretty good).

ActuallyThatsSUPREMECommander:

She isn't capping it at 6 hours though. I have asked repeatedly.

I know Trifle, but if she did it would be fine. If she doesn't cap it at 6 hours then it's not fine, and indeed illegal.

Lapinlapin:

Okay, but if you look at the standard package for an au pair, it is more generous than what she is offering, but even that would be cheaper than hiring proper childcare and a cleaner. So it's a case of judgement, I suppose. Mine is that she should at least match room/board/pocket money, even if the pocket money is halved to reflect the hours she anticipates requiring from the au pair.

ActuallyThatsSUPREMECommander:

Well, let's give her a chance to say she will.

Hmm.

Funnily enough I have done this. Ex nanny was stuck between flats and wanted somewhere to live for 6 weeks so she stayed in our loft conversion in return for one night's babysitting a week. Worked absolutely fine - although she was working and socialising so hard that the advantages of having another adult around the house that I anticipated were nil.