Trying to find a nanny for weird/irregular hours- WWYD?

[Huishnish]

Hi all,
Just wondered if anyone had any experience of this? We had a brilliant nanny who could accommodate my weird requirements (DH and I both musicians) but recently moved to berkhamsted, Herts and I just cannot find someone. Have been looking for 5 months! I've tried offering a minimum number of hours per month, and have tried agencies and childcare.co.uk. Surely I'm not the only person on the world who doesn't work mon-fri 9-5?
TIA

We had a slightly different problem in that we work shifts starting as early as 430am and finishing as late as 2am. And those shifts aren't regular, sometimes we don't get those shifts until Thursday of the week before. It was impossible to find childcare. Even offering above average wages/ a decent amount of minimum hours we found it impossible. I ended up switching to part time and my husband moved to a different work location and we now work opposite shifts. There are very few options available if you work outside the 9-5. You have my sympathies.

I do sympathise. It must be hard. But very few people are going to want those hours, especially if not fixed and full time. That's just the reality of it.

Thanks shoes and mole. Sorry you're having trouble too though. Artandco I see where you're coming from but unfortunately us freelance musicians and reliant on people hiring us (orchestras, recording studios etc) and can't choose which days we work.

Venus I don't know where your hostility comes from. Yes I'm unwilling to compromise on having some qualified or at least experienced. My boys are tiny, and the most precious things in the whole world to me. I'd rather not leave them at all than leave them with someone who I'm not 100% sure about. And yes I'd prefer it it was the same person each time - see above. I've explained already how someone might be able to work another job while helping me. I'm not bemused, I know it's a big ask. I was only asking for advice.

I think I'll retire now before I get any more grief. Thanks to all who offered v constructive and helpful advice

Wow OP. Some helpful even though it seems to be not what you want to hear.
London (you haven't clarified but I'm guessing) is a bloody expensive place to live and work! You say someone 'might' be able to fit in other work. Unless they were in a fortunate enough position to be able to work part time/flexible/short notice hours, they'd HAVE to have another job.

You're not getting grief. I'm sorry that I didn't tut and say "what's the world coming to when experienced nannies can pick and choose jobs with better pay and regular hours." That's clearly what you were expecting.

So, if you have your MIL two days a week, you are essentially asking someone to keep five days a week free (if you include weekends), but only offering to guarantee them 12.5 hours a week - nanny days are usually long, often 10 hours, so you want to reserve five days a week but possibly only pay them for 1.2 days a week.

The ways I could see this working are:

1. you pay so vastly over the going rate that they don't mind the uncertainty
2. you find someone who has their own movable commitments - maybe a student doing a course with not many fixed teaching commitments where they need time to study but it doesn't need to be at fixed times
3. can't think of a third

You are very unlikely to find a qualified nanny who will do this and an agency won't be interested in putting too much effort into it - at 50 hours/month their fee (which is usually a multiple of weekly salary) won't be worth the effort.

I'd suggest that you look for several people and each week you'll have to check who is free to cover the hours you need. Don't expect them to be qualified nannies - I would go for experience rather than qualifications.

Thank you wicker. Will definitely bear in mind that advice. I'm not really asking someone to keep all the time free, I've made it clear with people I've met that there's no obligation for one person to cover absolutely everything I ask for.

Whatever Venus. I was not expecting that, I was asking for advice from other people in a similar situation. I'm out of this now. I've got two tiny kids that I struggle to look after day in day out on my own, I don't need to get some horrible attitude from you.

What about trying to find a Nanny with own child who might be up for ad hoc days and then a couple of regular evening babysitters.
Do you have any other local musician friends that you could perhaps share a Nanny with for 3 fixed days a week or something thus reducing the cost for each of you but having the back up?
I think this is the kind of scenario where you really need to think outside of the box a bit.

You could try;

nanny share - this can work. I've done a nanny share before where one half was a consistent, regular job and the other half was an ad-hoc arrangement. I've also known other nannies do this. The arrangement I had was that the regular family paid slightly under market rates with the agreement that I was free to pick up ad-hoc work to top up my salary. I did cover evenings/weekends as well, but only if I was free I didn't promise that. You'd need a babysitter/other carer/MIL available to cover times when the nanny is busy.

A local parent - It could work for a local parent who is at home with their own child. They probably won't be a qualified nanny, but will have parenting experience.

Two nannies - Finding one person to do this is very tricky and I understand why you don't want a constant stream of people, but you could look for two or even three nannies who would between them be able to cover all the hours. Your children will be fine getting used to two or three people, it's just like in a nursery where there are three+ members of staff in each room.

You will not find a qualified and experienced nanny to do all of these hours for a normal, or even slightly higher wage. You will have to compromise somewhere.

I think it would suit someone whose children have grown up and don't need them around in the evening/weekend. I know someone this would suit, but they are nowhere near you...keep looking and advertising; the right person must be there somewhere!

Thanks so much. I almost didn't look back here but glad I did for really helpful advice, very much appreciated. I'm a bit at the end of my tether with it all. I hate leaving my boys and want to make sure that everything is fine for them but at the same time I do need to work financially. Anyway thanks for all the help

I'm looking for a small amount of childcare after school 1 day (though it is fixed) and I was surprised that I didn't get much response from gumtree or childcare.com but posting on the local mums group on Facebook has yielded some results and I'm meeting someone next week I'm cautiously optimistic about.

For evening stuff/rehearsals (I do a fair bit of orchestra things) we have a young 'regular babysitter' rather than a nanny. Have just changed but the last person we had was 21, just back from Uni, not very experienced initially but lovely, very responsible and keen to learn. I think if your two are good sleepers then you can maybe treat the evening's differently and try to get a regular babysitter you can 'train up' rather than a nanny maybe? For concerts I always made sure there was a back up in case of a problem eg maybe mil in your case?

I do think you have to reduce the expectation of one person. I would be looking for at least three people, all of whom you guarantee say 10 hours a. I think, and then working from there. You need a mix of regular nannies you work part time and child minders/ nursery staff who are looking to pick up evening shifts to increase earnings. You will struggle to find someone who wants to have you as sole employer. But you sound like a great option for good people who just want a few extra shifts every month.

It's a pain to find multiple people. But I think it's by far your best option.

Also, look at childcare swaps with friends. We have arrangements with two families whereby we babysit for them and they for us. Obviously in our case it's more for dinner and movie night, but it works well. And quite often it lands up being last minute. Dh unexpectedly had to go to a funeral a few weeks ago but I had a work dinner. I rang our friends two days before and they arranged to cover. Because they knew it works the same for us when they unexpectedly need help.

Tanker - how do you find your babysitters and how much do you pay if you don't mind me asking?

Babysitters here seem to charge £10 an hour which is twice the local childminding rate. I struggle to get my head around this as the childminders are all well qualified and clearly invest in their development (Ofsted, First Aid, Childcare courses etc.)

Do you have any predictability at all for the hours? And what kind of notice do you usually get for gigs? I'm a music teacher and freelancer with a husband who works shifts so I am well versed in the pain in the arse that is irregular childcare requirements the way we do/did it is to pay for all daytime requirements and then use MIL for evenings and weekend where necessary. Some nurseries are flexible on days etc, so you can pay for core hours and then top up on other days when you need to. Also once they're in nursery you'll meet their keyworkers who usually live locally and are often happy to babysit. We still use DS's keyworker from his first nursery, even though he left there 2 years ago, she lives round the corner and charges £8 per hour I think for evenings. Your eldest will soon get his free hours anyway I think...

IMO I think building up a network of local people would be the way forward, that way you're not relying on one person to do all the awkward odds and ends.

What exact hours would you need the nanny :)

I would try advertising on all the usual places too. I know two artists who do a more ad-hoc type of childcare, and this is the sort of thing that might suit a post-grad art student or young artist. It also might suit an actor but the flexibility there has a major down-side when they get a role. You might also find if you could offer accompdation that would be easier.

Newshoes the first one we found through a friend of my Mum who knew her mum and knew she was back from Uni and needing stuff to do. The second one was through the local fb mum's group and I vaguely know her Mum. She's a bit younger than I'd like (15) but only does short periods til my husband gets home (always pay minimum 2 hours to make it worth her while.). Currently £7-7.50 seems to be going rate round here (hants/Surrey). For longer babysitting there's an older lady who advertised on the local fb group but she only does 3 hours minimum, but she's quite a 'pro' babysitter (also does it for sitters.co.uk) and very reliable & experienced. She runs a gift shop in the day but used to be a teacher I think. She also charges £7.50.

For the after school nanny I'm looking for 1 day I'm offering £10ph which seems average.

(Weirdly the going rate for a cleaner is more like £12!)

Oh yes, should say that in the past workers from nursery have been a great source of regular babysitters too.

Is it nearly all evening/weekend work? I'm thinking you could find someone who was doing their childcare qualifications - so not as highly qualified as you'd like but who would be working towards NVQ level 3.

I had a contract for 6 months where I had someone collect my DC from school 2-3 days a week after school and all day during the holidays. So some weeks it was 8 hours, some weeks it was 30. Because she was a student, she was massively flexible because my hours never overlapped with the ones she was at college. She still babysits for us 4 years on.

A couple more thoughts. You'll almost certainly end up mixing and matching more than one person, so you'll probably need the services of an emergency nanny agency every now and then. I have heard that this one is good though never used it myself www.nannytotherescue.co.uk/about-us/

Alternatively, as it sounds like you do ad hoc freelance work - could you and your husband not work around each other and each work 50% of the time? I do wonder if you'll make any money after childcare costs.

Bare in mind a childminder charges per child though, and nanny and babysitters per family. So with two child the costs will be the same, if not cheaper.

Also if you want evenings or weekends that's premium time, like any other job antisocial hours generally pay more.

Can you fix two slots a week with a nanny, then get the grandparents to cover the others, rather than getting grandparents to do two days and many covering extra?
If you had a nanny housekeeper, they could do nannying part the weeks you need, and more housekeeping like laundry the weeks you don't. Same costs

Venus there are Nannys out there who wi do what the OP is asking, it's just a case of finding her. I'm not sure why your attackign the OP this is a childcare help board.

OP what exactly are you talking about hours wize? A weekend/night nanny might be your best option.

Have you tried nanny agency's? I know some agency's are a bit snoot about non set hours though that said.

I didn't attack her, don't be melodramatic. I suggested she look at it from a nanny's point of view which she was not doing.

Plenty of other posters have also said she will have to compromise somewhere and she won't be able to have the same person for everything as she wanted. So you can wind your neck in.