Boss ignoring my (entirely reasonable) holiday requests

[MadHattersWineParty]

I'm a nanny- worked for same family (single working mum, one child) three years in March, so have been pretty loyal and committed I think it's fair to say. Can count on my hand the number of sick days I've taken in that time. I'm punctual, flexible, work extra hours, cover overnights when boss is abroad etc etc.

My charge goes away in August and again at Christmas so I tend to take a large chunk of my holiday then. It's easier for my boss but not always totally ideal for me because they're both expensive months to go away anywhere, but I tend to suck it up, and take the odd three days leave here and there at other times.

Here's the rub.

On the 14th November LAST YEAR I mentioned that I'd like to go and visit my friend who's currently living in Barcelona. I suggested January (flights were cheap, I don't care about nice weather, just want to see my friend) boss says end of Jan might work but she'll have to confirm.

She didn't confirm. She just dodged it until the flights were too expensive and I just accepted it wasn't happening.

She then announces she's going on holiday with my charge in half term week- could I go then? No good for me- flights are pricey, my friend too busy that week so wouldn't see her much.

I've now suggested late March/early April. That's plenty of notice. Email gone unanswered. Whattsap message ignored. Will try and pin her down later but I'm pretty annoyed. I'm asking for about three days leave depending on the flights. I am not asking for the moon on a stick.

So my question is, how can I broach this with her (need to calm down a bit as I'm quite pissed off but I want to be assertive too) I don't think she's being fair- I don't think I should take my holiday only when it's most convenient for her- (it should be 50/50 I think but I'd settle for 30/70 as she has no partner or family in this country as back/up if I'm not there)

Any advice please- from parents and nannies- I'd appreciate it!

Since your contract doesn't specify I would choose a date, give a months notice if date and state unless you hear otherwise within the next week you will assume the dates are fine. We employed a nanny for two years and her contract was drawn up to allow two weeks of her choice and two weeks of our choice. We always have her extra days too work d out between us! You sounds like you have been flexible, maybe it's now her turn!

If the job ends in September how many days have you left to take before then? At this rate I expect she's rather not let you take them and pay you off!

I know RandomMess! I've only taken one day off so far so there'll be plenty left to take!

Well perhaps just email and state the obvious - I have xx days leave to take by mid September, presumably y days in August whilst charge is away.

When would it be agreeable for me to take the others days? If she has no intention of letting you take any others at least you'll know and guess your weekend away will be as soon as your contract ends!

I think you are perfectly reasonable. Maybe arrange a time to talk when children aren't around. Explain as you have explained here. A reasonable employer would see your perspective and good nannies are worth appeasing.

I have been a nanny employer for 9 years and I think your boss is being completely unreasonable. It should be in your contract that you each nominate 50% of your holiday days, but even if it isn't, that's just the etiquette when you have a nanny! Mostly she is being unreasonable not to respond to your messages or communicate properly with you, and to avoid the topic as it doesn't suit her. She isn't respectful that you have a life outside your work, and I think that's just awful. I really hope you get it sorted!

Unless have in contract 50:50 then she can give you all holiday dates

If she owes you 3 days then when you see her in the evening talk to her

Say the dates you want. Then if she says no ask her what dates she can suggest ?

Email is good once you have confirmed details so have hard copy of it but easier to talk face to face while negotiating

Very unreasonable behaviour on the part of the employer. Unless you've picked a date where she's travelling etc or there is some other exceptional situation I can't see what her beef is on this occasion. But more broadly - that's just how it goes, of course you have to give your nanny flexibility on holidays and/or agree at the time of employment if you have serious limitations. Two teachers, for example, are likely to want holidays in school holidays only but you would expect them to state that when they took you on. You can then say yay or nay, this works for me or it doesn't. I think it's crap and mean.

crap and mean not to be flexible with you, that is.

what happened OP?