Nanny vs Nursery final decision thoughts and experiences ?!

[Annie105]

Hi all I posted a couple of months ago at the start of my childcare search journey and need some help trying to make a final decision!

I've just finished wrapping up the last nanny/childminder interviews this weekend and have narrowed it down to one really great and experienced nanny and one childminder who is available to come to my home to do the morning routine (on her own with no charges) and also the nursery drop off. I was going to try and extend my Mat leave as the nursery didn't have a place available in time but this week they emailed to say they had a drop out of the baby room and could offer a place when I need it. And then of course we had already interviewed this nanny who we both really liked and the decision turmoil commenced!

So dilemma is now what the hell do we do?

I'm trying to follow my gut instinct but it's all churned up with the emotion of leaving my baby at all but I must return to work at least for a year for financial reasons.

The nursery is really sweet and I have a friend whose baby daughter is there and she seems happy but she is a much more outgoing baby than mine. Mine tends to go very quiet in larger social settings and gets quite timid. Even at a young age you can sort of identify traits. However she did say her key worker has changed already and she does find her daughter is so exhausted from a full day there (she finds it hard to nap in the nursery and keeps getting colds) that her sleeping at night has got worse over time. The childminder pick up would help alleviate the stress of getting to work in the morning on time without rushing him to nursery 5 minutes before it opens but again it's a long day there at the nursery from 8-6.30. The childminder could come to mine in morning get him ready slowly and have him at nursery for 9.30.

The nanny is fabulous, but it's obviously so very expensive. We are trying to keep cost out of the equation on the childcare front as we will make sacrifices elsewhere to afford what's right for him. So I suppose my only reservation about nanny is becoming an employer and what that entails and I also have worries about what would happen if she didn't work out as we would never get him back to the nursery this year due to their waiting lists.

All three have their advantages and disadvantages.

I could never find a suitable childminder in our area - all of them seemed to have many of the disadvantages of the nurseries we were looking at but none of the bits of the relationship which feel more like dealing with a nanny. However, childminders were the cheapest of the three options by far. I would say if you can find a great one, it's probably gold dust though. We were, I think, just a bit unlucky.

Overall, being a nanny employer brought us a lot more stress than the nursery relationships we had. The cost, the management element, and the admin outweighed the benefits, in our case, of having the children looked after at home. Our last nanny, who was after school only, was fabulous but we had two others who were very challenging, for different reasons. All of my friends have had some turnover with nannies and it is something you need to bear in mind. I am not persuaded the aggro is worth it for one child, unless you baby is very young (under one month) and you are really unhappy with the nursery options.

Sorry I meant to say under six months....

I would say nanny, particularly as you've found one you like.

If ou can afford it, a nanny. For all the reasons nuffsaidsam gave in the first reply.
After leaving school, I worked in a nursery, then as a nanny, followed by a childminder when I had my own dc.

My preference for my own dc would have been nanny, childminder, nursery. So much of what a nanny does is of benefit to th whole family, doing the children's laundry, changing their beds, can pick up any shopping, stop in for the Tesco delivery, be around to let the plumber in, feed the cat, empty the dishwasher, make grandma a birthday card, etc. It is the Most expensive option, but if you get a good one, they will be worth their weight in gold.

In my view, babies and small children don't need to be surrounded by lots of children all the time to become sociable children. A good childminder or nanny will be able to add in a couple of toddler groups/play dates with other children and their carers.
Don't forget to add on a couple of groups/classes on to your calculations. Nanny may well suggest taking baby to a couple of these and they could work out to add a lot onto the total. (Round here, baby sensory type group is £5, do something similar twice a week and it's £500 a year added on to the bill).
Hope whatever you choose works out for you.

Thanks folks! Big discussions this afternoon with hubby. Went to the nursery but the nursery manager wasn't available so I had to make do with the accounting person! She said the baby room is always full (quiet ish until March due to lots of babies reaching the next age/room over Christmas) and they do have some babies who struggle with the busyness but that the nursery team always get them to settle ... Eventually. When I was leaving and used the loo I heard two girls (one who was in the baby room) who work there outside talking about two other girls leaving and how it was going to be agency again not in a bitchy way just as in a sort of sad way and how all the babies in the baby room had a puking bug.. That kind of nailed it for me there is a fair bit of change going on behind the scenes which they aren't discussing it seems...offer letter to nanny has been printed. Thanks for all your advice. Was all very valid and I re read it all many times!

I think you've made the right decision, I hope it all works out for you.

If the cost is likely to be a problem long term, you might want to consider a nanny share at some point. It would be good to mention that as a possibility to the nanny at this early stage and see what she thinks. Better than bringing it up out of the blue later on. A nanny share usually costs about 60% of having a nanny to yourself. Most nannies are open to a share, it's very common now.

I work in a nursery and am very pro-nursery in general, but I wouldn't send my own under 2s to one.

i've had all types of childcare, if you can afford it, I'd always go for a nanny for under 3 - we had to stop when ours was 2 as it was over double the cost of nursery. It's more expensive for a good reason, there is no comparison.

Neither decision is bad. I chose nursery because of the 51 weeks per year opening.
Nannies are good too but I have seen too many sat on their smart phones in parks and heard too many off sick stories to take the plunge.