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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

What do I say to my c/m about her cat ... advice please, all you lovely c/ms!

26 replies

funnypeculiar · 04/02/2007 19:29

C/m has a house cat. When we first started with her, it was rarely around/she kept it in her room, but lately, it's always out around the house. It is a very nice cat. BUT, last week, when I picked up ds (nearly 3) & dd (10 mths), she mentioned hearing ds giggle and coming into the room to find him pulling the cats tail. Makes me nervous ...

I was planning to talk to her when I next drop dd off, and say I don't mind cat being loose, but only if she (c/m) is in the same room as the kids to supervise. Am I Being Uunreasonable?!?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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monkeymonkeymoomoo · 04/02/2007 19:34

Its a bit hard to supervise cats in the same way as dogs, I'd say that you might be making more of it than necessary Do you have pets at all? Why does it make you nervous?

northerner · 04/02/2007 19:36

Yes you are being unreasonable, unless it's a bengal tiger

It's impossible to supervise cats 24/7, plus they are not a danger to babies/young children. They are very clean animals, and at worst ds or dd will get a little scratch if they are bothering it.

Cat will probably give the kids a wide berth tbh.

Original poster

funnypeculiar · 04/02/2007 19:37

Have no pets atm, but as a child had dogs, cats, rabbits, hamsters, snakes, birds, fish etc etc etc!! So, no, am very much an animals person ... although, tbh, more a dog girl than a cat girl, so that may be influencing me - and good point, monkeymonkey, perhaps I am asking the impossible...

Part of the reason I'm nervous is that I have seen the cat 'swipe' at ds once before (he was giggling at her, not wopping her with a brick).

OP posts:

monkeymonkeymoomoo · 04/02/2007 19:40

I've got two cats and two dogs and tend to find that they give DD (11mths) a wide berth or bat her with their paws (no claws). I do get concerned about swiping her eyes and try and discourage her from harassing the cat but I figure that is unlikely and if she gets 'told off' then she will respect the cat!

Original poster

funnypeculiar · 04/02/2007 19:41

ho hum, maybe I need to chill out then ...

OP posts:

northerner · 04/02/2007 19:43

You only saw your ds giggling at the cat, but before you turned up the cat has probably endured hours of being chased, 'hugged', patted, hidden under cushions and had lego men climb on her head. If your ds is anything like mine

My cats life is miserable when ds is around

Original poster

funnypeculiar · 04/02/2007 19:49

northener, yes that is possible...

OP posts:

ladyoflincoln · 04/02/2007 20:35

maybe not what you want to hear, but as a child i was bitten & scratched by a cat and i still have the scars on my arms and legs.. it was not a bengal tiger somehow i feel a bit embarrassed at having been attacked by a cat! maybe i should tell people it was a big dog that did it?

the cat belonged to a family friend, and had never done anything like it before. i am still wary of cats - when angry they are a fury ball of teeth and claws that freaks me out!

i am not suggesting that this cat would attack anybody, only that as a parent you have a legitimate right to express your concerns to your cm. maybe she will put your mind at rest..

hth. xx

Original poster

funnypeculiar · 04/02/2007 20:41

thanks ladyoflincoln ... good to know everyone doesn't think I'm paranoid

OP posts:

mykidzrmyworld · 04/02/2007 20:47

well personally I cant stand cats and how sad to say but scared of them.
My dh had a cat when I meet him and I put up with it for a whilebut it was then me or cat situation.
I am a dog lover too but I have control over my dog as to where they are when my mindee's are here.
Someone said cats are not dangerous to babies = but what about it being well known for cats sleeping on babies faces when they are asleep. Cats go upstairs and could be sleeping on babies cots/beds and that would be a big no no from me.
In my experience cats scratch (in play) a lot and I would certainly think twice about my kids being around cats everyday at CM

BY the way this is IMO

hana · 04/02/2007 20:50

I think if you're not comfortable with the cat, you have to find a new childminder

we found a perfect childminder a few years ago - she didnt mention that she had cats and I didn't think to ask - saw them on my way out and was v disappointed as dh absurdly allergic to cats

nooka · 04/02/2007 20:52

I don't think that you can stipulate that the cat is supervised - to me that would sound a very odd request (that might just be me of course), but I do think that it would be entirely reasonable to say that you are a bit worried that maybe ds might be teasing the cat (even if you think he hasn't) and maybe the cat might lash out, and that perhaps she could keep an eye out for your ds. that way you can chat about your concern and alert her to the possibility that there is a problem without sounding a little shall we say extreme? When we have had children over, and their parents have said they are worried we have been able to tell them how passive our cat is (think "My cat just sleeps", and then we have kept the cat out of the way. But I suspect that the childminder has kept the cat out of the way because of your dd rather than your ds.

nooka · 04/02/2007 20:54

Oh, and the cat's sleeping on babies faces is supposed to be a bit of an urban myth, although some cats do like sleeping near babies (cots are so cosy, I guess) and that obviously would be bad. My cats were offended by babies and kept well out of their way, but of course they do vary a lot (for example we are still waiting to have a cat that plays at all!)

fizzbuzz · 04/02/2007 21:11

I also got attacked by a cat and still have scars to prove it. It was a cat I knew and I bent down to stroke it, and it clawed my face..I was 9 years old and there was blood everywhere.

Would not send dd to a childminder that had a cat.

Original poster

funnypeculiar · 04/02/2007 21:15

oh blimey, now I feel like I'm not paranoid enough . Bugger, what do I do now. Will talk to cm & see what she suggests to reassure me...
(Cats not allowed in bedroom, so not worried about that one, urban myth or not!)

OP posts:

fizzbuzz · 04/02/2007 21:30

Sorry didn't want to make you paranoid, just go with your own instinct.

I do not like cats and dp refers to them as cooking fats.........do like dogs though

ThePrisoner · 04/02/2007 21:32

I have cats, and always ensure that parents know this before they ask me to be their CM. One of them tends to stay out of the way of small children, the other likes being around them.

I would never ever leave any small child asleep with a cat around, urban myth or not!

Children need to learn that animals are not toys, and my cats have to learn the same thing about children. Whilst my cats have never been aggressive, I still wouldn't trust them not to scratch if provoked, but I do not regard them to be on the same level of "danger" as dogs. If the cats look a bit too frisky, they get ousted to the garden.

Perhaps you could just say that you know you're being a paranoid parent (in the nicest possible way!), but that you are worried about her cat and your children - maybe she will happily keep the cat away.

Original poster

funnypeculiar · 04/02/2007 21:42

Thanks ThePrisoner - and yes, in general I agree and am keen that ds & dd learn to repect animals - hence I went with a cm with a cat. I'm just concerned that if they (either the kids of the cats!!) are frisky (& lets face it 3 yos aren't always perfectly behaved, and once dd is crawling, she'll be worse...), she may miss a potential situation.
I think she'll be sympathetic - she did say when we started with her that cat would be kept out of kids space at all times, and I said not to bother ....

OP posts:

smeeinit · 04/02/2007 22:17

i feel sorry for the cat?!!!

Aloha · 04/02/2007 22:19

I have a miserable bugger of a cat and two children. The kids have had the odd very mild scratch if they have pestered her too much, but still absolutely adore the sour old fleabag
I don't think you have anything to worry about.

LaaLaaPosh · 04/02/2007 22:20

I have put in all my ads that I have 2 cats.
TBH, the cats are the ones that tend to stay away from the kids!!
My own DS2 is at the lets-terrorise-the-cat" stage! So they hide in my room, or in thegarden all day!

He has had a scratch from one, which he poked whilst he was sleeping (and let's be honest, who wouldn't scratch someone that poked you whilst sleeping) but he's learnt not to do it again!!

Perhaps say to CM, that you're worried about the cat being terrorised, sort of turn it round-then slip in that the cat might get p*ssed off and retaliate one day!!

Isyhan · 05/02/2007 14:58

I can understand your concern . Im a cm with a cat and he tries desperately to keep out of childrens way. He hides under kitchen table but they follow him. I think all animals like people have different personalities. I try to talk to the children about respecting him and treating him gently and I think the 3 year old girl who was frightened of him when she arrived quite likes him now. So its a two way thing. I know that through having my own daughters how he behaves when he has had his tail pulled (he walks away) but other maybe younger cats may not react like that.

Ripeberry · 05/02/2007 17:52

Hi, i've got 2 dd aged 5 and 2 and we have a lovely cat.
Actually he is a Bengal Tiger!
He looks wild but is very soft with the kids.
They lie on him, pick him up and pull his tail and he is so good.
It's just that if he's had a bad day with
the kids he'll take it out on me and my DH
If i was a childminder i would keep him locked in the side hall if i had any yound mindees under 6yrs old.
At least a cat can't maul you to death.
AB

cece · 05/02/2007 18:05

OUr cat sleeps with my dc some nights. Have done since they were 18 months old. Before that I used to keep the bedroom door shut to stop the cat getting in to their rooms.

star1976 · 05/02/2007 21:06

I'm a childminder and I have two cats and an 11 mnth DS!

My DS has on two ocassions been scratched (tiny scratches) by one cat, because he has cornered him at the back door, but still doesn't seem to have learnt his lesson and given the chance will follow said cat.

The other cat can be sitting at back door waiting to go out with DS litterally pulling at her fur and she just sits there meowing waiting desperately for me to let her out.

Not so tolerant cat is kept well out the way when I am childminding, which is how he likes it! Nice cat is available for stroking and play, but mindee's are told (no matter how old they are) that when she sleeping she needs to be left alone!

All cats, like all dogs, are different! Some can be trusted and some can't.

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