Childcare For 7 Children

[MyUserNameIsGreat]

Hi, I'm a new member although I've lurked on and off for years. I'm now in a position where I need some advice from you lovely people.

I'm mum of 4 boys ages 8 (9 in May), 7 (just turned last month), 3 (4 in a couple of weeks) and almost 11 months.

For the past 4 months, my husband and I have been caring for his sisters three children whilst she has been unwell. This was supposed to have been for just a couple of weeks but unfortunately she is still not well enough to care for her children (she is a single mum, widowed). The children are 7, 5 and 3 (4 in May).

I have to go back to work after Easter. I am a primary school teacher. I was supposed to return after Christmas but took an extra term off unpaid. I now need to return to work. I will be working at minimum 8:30 til 4pm but prefer to stay at school an extra hour or two to set up for the next day and to do any marking rather than taking it home with me.

My husband is manager of a retail store working 12 hour shifts plus 45 minutes travel time each way. He has used all his annual leave and we can't afford for him to take time off.

There is no family to help. My husband and his sister grew up in foster care and only have each other. My own parents are elderly and I don't have any siblings.

So we need to look at paying for childcare.

At the moment we have the two 3 year olds in nursery for 5 mornings a week.

We need somebody to have the baby all day (8am to 6pm), drop the children at school and nursery (nursery attached to school), pick up the nursery children, go back again to pick up the school children and then look after them until 6pm.

Or something like that, anyway.

What do you think would be the best childcare for us? A full time nanny (if we could find somebody to have 7 children!!), one full and one part time nanny, childminders??

I don't think that is legal. The cm will be responsible for them while walking to school and would make her over her numbers

They will be in her care

The 8yr will be ok as can have over 8's / the 6 is under 8

But the two 7yrs will tip her over

If she is willing to do this and break the rules then makes me think what else would she do .....

I knew it wouldn't be legal. I was so excited that we had a solution (apart from after school). Back to square one. I'm getting so stressed about all this.

How about baby, 3yos and 5yo with childminder.

Then see if you can find a babysitter (we have a lovely local 17yo who is doing a childcare course at college 9-3) to take the 7yos and 8yo to and from school.

I think we're going to have to put the older ones into breakfast club, which I can take them to, and then childminder for them after school and a nanny for the younger ones. Will a nanny do light household work such a vacuuming, sorting the dishwasher and putting clothes in washer then dryer? No ironing.

A nanny is per family not per child. So if you have nanny for younger ones you might as well use for older ones also as same cost

Cm charge per child and likely to be least £5 area depending so if have the eldest 4 going to be £20ph so £60ish if use 3/6 each dAy

Yes a nanny will usually do light duties and children's washing etc - but rem there are 7 children so lots to do around the house with just their stuff

If I were you I think I would contact SS. I think it would be extremely unlikely they would remove the children from you unless you have some reason for them not to be with you other than just numbers. I know this is always a risk though. In my dream world they should bend over backwards to help you with the children. I really think you should contact the charity I linked to earlier, they might be able to give you some proper advice and a realistic idea of what might happen if you do ask SS for help.

Whereabouts in the UK are you OP?

One option is to advertise somewhere like www.childcare.co.uk and see if you have any applicants for a FT nanny role?
Then in tandem you can look for alternatives.

Before you dismiss it as an idea, go back to the childminder you met and discuss it properly. A CM plus afterschool babysitter/nanny might be a very workable solution and leaves you with a permanent solution [minus the afterschool sitter] to your own childcare needs should your SIL return to health.

Please talk to the child minder probably. As she can put her numbers up legally or get an assistant /Appendice quite cheapy.

Also talk to charity.
And I think you going to have legal custody of SIL kids to get any kind of legal childcare. As childminder or nanny will need for their insurance. They have to have contact with the parent.

Aupair for the 5 eldest and nursery for the 2 youngest. Aupair does drop offs and pick ups for big ones and some jobs around the house. You drop and pick up the 2 little ones from nursery. It's all legal and the most cost effective solution.

Hi I just wanted to update as you've all been so kind trying to help me.

I had a long phone call with the head teacher yesterday evening.

I asked her if it was possible to delay coming back to work until September, how would it affect them staffing wise. She knows the situation. She has said that I can take the time off upaid if I want to and to go back in September. We will lose more money this way but it is less stressful for the children and also it means that the class I would be going to teach don't have to suddenly get used to a new teacher for one term. It also works out cheaper for the school as the teacher taking "my" class at the moment is a NQT so her pay is lower than mine.

Come September, if we still have all of the children, then I will only have one child needing day-time care, and he will go to nursery.

Many thanks to you all. I do feel extremely guilty not going back to work but I do have to put my family first and the head teacher is understanding. She will keep my job open for me until September. I need to let her know by the end of this term whether I will definitely be going back in September (which I will).

Social services won't remove the children. But they do have a legal obligation to support you.

If the childminder is willing to take the younger children, would you be able to stretch to an au pair as well? S/he could walk the older ones to school, you could pick them up from an after school club, and you'd have her assistance in the school holidays too where I can imagine a second pair of hands for days out and housekeeping might be seriously handy.

Wow op. That's a great result from your headteacher.

I'm really impressed by the way you are proactive about sorting everything out. As difficult as it may be, try to make sure you also get some respite from it all too. Easier said than done though.

I hope everything works out for the best for all concerned.

And happy Mothering Sunday!

Just been reading this and you're amazing. Glad you have found a solution, these children will always value your sacrifice.

I do think this for the best as all your kids need you.
I would think contact as would be the way to go as SIL is going to need help when she is ready to go back to her kids . And if she is on the books al ready then you can get things in place quicker especially if things go pear shape again.

Phew! I've read all the amazing suggestions but I think you have hit the nail on the head.
You being at home must make life that bit easier for the foreseeable future!
You are doing an amazing job and one all 7 children will be incredibly grateful for as they grow, knowing you did everything you could for all of them.
Good luck with the next few months.

Your SIL is a lucky, lucky woman.

I hope she gets well soon and all goes well for you over the summer.

On the upside, looking after 3 when she is well again will feel like a piece of cake

I think that sounds fine - presuming you think the children who are walking alongside them are mature enough not to muck about. 8 and 7 should be old enough to walk to school anyway (although I understand with 2 busy roads why you don't want them walking alone yet - I think I would feel the same).