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Would you think this was reasonable?

57 replies

Bluebear · 29/12/2006 20:08

I'm a bit upset with our nanny and trying to work out if I'm justified.

I work in a hospital and have to work between Xmas and new year (in fact also had to work at weekend this year but dh looked after kids). Dh also had to work (but from home as his job is computer based). Our nanny was aware that we needed her to work these 3 days months ago.
As well as having a lot of whinging from last week onwards (can't dh look after the children because he is in the house - I have found that for the last 2 days she has picked up my children from my house and simply driven them to her mother's house where they sat ' watching tv and eating lots' (quoted by 5 year old ds).
If she had asked about taking them home with her I might have said yes but I am really cross that she didn't ask - and yesterday when I asked where she and dd had been (since dh knew that they hadn't been at home) she was very evasive and didn't answer.
She also took dd and her ds to a soft play centre yesterday pm along with her dp who I know has a minor criminal record (she told me a while back).
To top it all, dd's hair smells of stale cigerette smoke which I guessing is from nanny's mum's house.

I can sort of see the - but it's christmas, kids should be watching tv and eating lots - but why not in their own house!

OP posts:
Bluebear · 03/01/2007 20:33

I was expecting to get slated for not paying the 400net that is advertised on agency boards round here - but that is for 7am-7pm and 2 babysits a week plus 'nursery duties' my nanny isn't interested in those jobs. Don't know many that actually pay that much round here, most of nannys friends seem to be on 200net and don't get their tax etc paid.
Also in my defence can I point out that although we share her - my ds is in school, both 3 year olds are in part-time nursery and so often she only has baby to care for..and in school hols I rotate my kids to the grandparents if share kids are here so that she doesn't have all 4 at once.

OP posts:
snowfunwhenyoureknackered · 03/01/2007 20:36

you couldn't do anymore..............

I think nanny has sussed this and knows she's getting away with murder

hope you get a new nanny soon

nannynick · 03/01/2007 21:55

From the sound of it your current nanny gets quite a lot Bluebear. Did some calculations and your nanny is on a little over £1 per hour more than me. For comparison purposes, I'm on the Surrey/Berkshire border - so not a cheap place to live, do same number of hours, though start a very little bit earlier, and care for 3 children, only one at school, so have 2 under 5's all day. Like your nanny I am not contracted for babysitting, cleaning, or washing - but I do tend to do the children's washing and cleaning. I don't get a car!

I feel it was right for you to pay for CAS, as it saves you money. But you shouldn't be paying for First Aid, and certainly not for the nannies insurance.

As she's bringing her own son along, surely that makes a difference to salary - especially as she's not supplying his food.

And as for making pastry... boy oh boy, this nanny really needs to learn to cook! The 3 year old I care for is getting a dab hand at making pastry - though it does get rather messy!

balancingact · 03/01/2007 22:31

Bluebear, if you ever need any advice re live-in nannies, am sure there are a lot of us on this thread already gagging to give you advice !! Is it very competitive where you are? because it seems you have observed that she gets paid quite well relative to others in your area so perhaps you have a wider choice than you think of candidates?
Jura, kind of you to remember my worries 3 months ago! Am so happy that i can also refer to my nanny as "current Lovely nanny!"

Bluebear · 03/01/2007 22:42

Blimey - I didn't think I was being that generous to be honest. Anyway, I am meeting with the childminder next week to see if that might be a solution.
Can't see us getting another nanny unless it's a live-in when the bedrooms have been sorted out (currently moving from room to room so we have one empty one to decorate but will have a spare when finished) or when we move house...but I will be asking you all for help when I take the plunge! Thanks for the offers.
Will be persevering with nanny diary and regular meetings with her for now.

OP posts:
RedTartanLass · 03/01/2007 23:55

Oh Bluebear - get rid of her, don't wait a couple of months. You can never trust a liar and some of examples you mentioned make me shiver with horror.

I think you have been more than fair and I would have dismissed her a lot earlier. Feeding a vegetarian chicken, cigerette smoke Ahhhhh. Gross Misconduct in my book, I think you are a lovely fair minded lady and are trying to see it from her point of view.

Sack her I say!!

snowfunwhenyoureknackered · 04/01/2007 08:17

I agree

bluebear you and your family deserve a lot better, there are some great nannies out there, don't settle for a rotten one you have to guide and watch all the time, at 29 she should know what she's doing by now

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