My nanny has resigned - should I pay her a Christmas bonus?

[StarrmumofRoyalBeautyBright]

She has worked for me for almost 10 years, full time for 7 years and part time for the last 3.

In April she went on maternity leave (her second child), and returned mid October. I really didn't think she would want to come back once she had her second baby, but she was adamant that she would return.

Once she came back, though, it was all different. She has a 40 minute journey from her house to mine and her baby (5 months old when she came back to work) doesn't sleep during the day, so by the end of the day she is very fractious, and my nanny was evidently very stressed by this.

My boys are 14 and 11 now, and we really don't need a nanny, so the fact that she is leaving is not the end of the world (although it's the end of an era, so quite sad - she is lovely and we will all miss her). She (and we) did realise that we were basically paying her to come to our house and look after her own children - and given that it was so stressful I think this was the point at which she realised she didn't want to carry on any longer.

Anyway, taking all her holiday into account, although she resigned last week, she is leaving on Tuesday - which leaves me with this dilemma. Her last official day (minus holiday time) would have been 22 December. Normally I would give her a cash bonus of £200 in her Christmas card (as well as a present for her and her children).

This year, as she's leaving/won't be here and hasn't been around for most of the year I don't exactly feel inclined to pay her this bonus. Money isn't exactly sloshing around at the moment either - I'm self employed and business isn't brilliant at the moment.

Do you think I'm being mean? Should I pay a bonus or would this be OTT/stupid?

Coolmama - no worries about being straightforward, I wanted exactly this kind of perspective.

I'm sure we'll keep in touch - we still see our first nanny who left us in 1997!

Reading this, what stuck out to me was the comment "will have to speak to her mum" - it's not often in my view that an employer of a nanny is on speaking terms with the nannies mother.

This can be used to your advantage, as you can enquire with her mother regarding what special thing she (nannies mother) feels her daughter (your nanny) would most appreciate.

Like others have said, try to aim for something that the nanny will keep long term as a memento. It need not be expensive... but could be a very personal item from your family, perhaps a montage of pictures of the children though the years, a paperweight thing which has your children's faces etched into it, that sort of idea. To that you can then add something she needs (thus reason to ask her mother), could be a spa day (though who would care for her children, could you do a deal with her mother!).

Good to hear that a employer nanny relationship has lasted this long. You have been very fortunate to have someone as dedicated as your nanny.