A frugal nanny?

[SootyTheCat]

I'm soon going to be returning to work and we've decided a nanny would be the best childcare option for us for a number of reasons (3 DCs, so its going to be expensive whatever we do).

We're intending to offer a reasonable salary for our area (up to £10 per hour gross). But it will be really stretching our budget, i.e. pretty much all my salary. We live quite frugally anyway but will have to really start counting the pennies.

Would it be unreasonable to ask the nanny to be as frugal as possible too? e.g. avoiding expensive days out, going to free activities where possible, not buying chocolate / treats for the kids from the shop??

Can I ask her to bring her own lunch and snacks? I don't want to add £5 - £10 to the weekly food budget to have extra food in, it will really add up and I'll feel like I have to buy naice ham & yummy gourmet stuff rather than the cheapo things I make do with!

We tend to keeping the heating on low and wear extra clothes and slippers. I suffer from cold hands so its never that low (min 20), but it isn't on all day, I just put it on for an hour when I feel nippy. I don't want her to freeze but at the same time we can't afford the heating bill to go up loads. Would this be unacceptable?

I will be honest about all this in the interview - but would this put you off accepting the job? Thanks for your honest thoughts.

i think I was in a very similar position to you when I got our nanny financially. Although I'm finanacially comfortable I definitely watch the pennies. Like you I wanted to give what I thought was 'best care'. Also, I am quite ambitious and wanted to have the comfort of a nanny so I could focus on career when at work - and a nanny certainly makes your working life easier. Things have been tight for us as a result - we had a nanny when I went back to work with just the one child, but I don't regret it.

Our first nanny had been 'spoilt' having worked for incredibly rich families before and I could not keep up with that. e.g. she was taken on family holidays for free so she could be there if needed. She had a 'taking' culture rather than being part of our family.

Our second nanny was new to nannying but had childcare experience. If I was to have to get a nanny again I would always go for a new nanny now as I found her much less demanding and she appreciates the way we work as a family and our finances rather than expecting a lot more. She's great. We do pay her going rate (£10/hour with 3 kids not yet at school!).

Where I live (yorkshire) - I do have 3 under 4 (so don't have to pay for most/all our kids to go places) but I go to toddler groups for £1-2 per child, farm entry about £2 per child and have invested in annual passes so entry to stately home grounds etc is free.

I honestly think you'll be able to find someone - just make sure you're honest up front, be open to people new to nannying.
Good luck!

Well I have a nanny two days a week and she brings her own food. It never occured to either of us to be otherwise. I didn't offer a couple of times but she said no and thought I was mad. We have a kitty for activities and she has never once taken money. She usually goes to the park before lunch and nap and then sings songs and does craft in PM (I regularly do a cheap haul of craft things). It might be because it's not full time, but I think it would be a bit of a cheek to go to paid activities on top of our salary. She doesn't do any housework or prep food or washing, her only job is to play in my opinion. Our nanny is lovely and she's happy. We do pay v well. So it's not impossible, I'd interview a few people and see what happens.

*did offer

I think if your very clear from the start your expectations then you should find someone. I personally couldn't be your employee but each to your own. I personally feel having a nanny is a luxury item and it's not something a lot of people have access to. Obviously in recent news it has be coming up with a certain amount of hours off free childcare. Is that something you could hold out until your youngest is old enough.

With regards heating I got told it's cheaper to set thermostat at (say) 20° and leave it at that. Short bursts of heating is cheaper than an hour of getting house up to the right temperature if/when it gets cold. 20° is about right with a baby and toddler anyway. Just tell nanny the thermostat is set to keep house at a temperature that's comfortable for the children with the lifestyle they lead. If she finds its not right to let you know. Setting it to remain at 22° for example won't increase the bill dramatically.

With regards lunch - most people take their own to work. Just tell her what you buy and have for lunch stuff (separate shelf in fridge?) and then say she's welcome to help herself or can bring some food of her own. Personally I prefer to take my own as then I know what I'll get/ what there is!

I have never had the image - nor experienced- nannies taking the children out on lots of expensive enrichment activities or to soft play. It's only 3 days and seems like it's generally baby care and school runs. A nanny should follow the same routine as the family - but should get some control over where they take the child. Eg what park.

To avoid saying we can't afford, please don't, we eat cheap food etc and introducing all as a negative provide a job specification with a routine.

Eg,

We are busy and fun filled family who enjoy being outdoors, visiting local ponds and parks and going on adventure walks.

We have a 6 month old who naps between x and y and during this time you role is....... The baby likes x for lunch and naps again during x and y. The baby always sleeps in cot/ will sleep in pushchair (or whatever!)

Our 3yo goes to nursery between 9-12 every morning. Once collected he likes to come home and have lunch before doing something crafty/ garden orientated etc during the afternoon. On Thursdays we go to the library preschool book session at 2pm.(for example)

Our 6yo attends X school. He starts at .... And finishes at .... On the way home from school we stop at x park. I take a snack and drink with me as he's always hungry after school. (Or we come home and change, have snack and go to....).

Daily routine:

7.30 - rise and breakfast
8 - washing and dressing.
8.30 - leave house school and then preschool run
9.15- home. Play with baby/ milk/ etc
10 - baby naps

etc etc.

We pay £10ph for our nanny who comes up to 3 days a week

Our weekly activity kitty is up to £10 if we do it all. (It isn't really a kitty I just added up the various groups). She sometimes does something else with them sometimes more expensive more likely not. If it is expensive she would ask.

We don't think we are particularly cheap people my sister does it is just our way of life.

So I wouldn't sell it as frgual - it would more be about family values etc and her match with us

I am a nanny to a toddler and a baby.

In term time we do a couple of paid activity groups (music/swimming) but mix this up with free activities (rhyme time at library, play dates, park visits, going to a local cafe) we also go to a local soft play (which is small and cheap as it's in a garden centre) we also have membership at the local leisure centre so we can access the classes, swimming soft play. As I have non school aged kids; I go to attractions during term times so I don't have to deal with immense crowds during the holidays; however this is once every 6 weeks or so - we have zoo and farm locally

Some weeks I can spend less than £5 on groups/activities and sometimes it's over £30. Maybe set a monthly kitty and your nanny can best plan the use of that money.

I would worry about the job security if i came to an interview and they said limited heating, dont provide lunch etc etc. I have always eaten what the kids have and i dont think it costs the family much more. And if you just have a lighter lunch then maybe a pack of ham and bread is all you need.
I only put the heating on if i am cold. I dont feel the cold much. It prob was a shock to the family when i first started as the kids were in daycare before so heating was only on in morning and eve, they didnt have to have as much food in house as all the kids wkday meals were at the day care.
I think saying you prefer free/cheap activities with the occassional outing in the hols is fine. I have a 4,3 and 1yr old. 3yr olds in school every morning and 4yr olds will be in school til 3:30 from sept(she was in just mornings last year so even then it was just me and baby in mornings) and so its just me and the 1yr old in morning. We do a pre paid music class one day a wk and then a playgroup another which costs £2.50. The other mornings we will do playdates or the occassional small soft play area(2.70) or playground. In afternoon we will either do crafts at home or library/playground. So other than the pre paid class i spend max £5.20 a wk(5 days) most wks. In school hols its different. I have had all 3 at home full time since 3rd july(one goes back next weds and the other the following wk) i tend to do one day trip a wk-but out of 9wks only 2 of those outtings i had to pay and entrance fee for(small zoo and large soft play) others we went to free farms,museums etc. We have taken picnics apart from 2 of those occassions(soft play and the museum as a treat) there has been smaller expenses ie small soft play, face painting at an event etc. But it would of been easy for me to not to the trips with the entrance fee and just do free ones but i am in london so alot of free things.
In regards to meals personally i think you need to loosen up a tiny bit. Maybe say they are free to eat whats in the house/same food as kids but if they want anythinf different/more then they would need to provide it. Heating maybe just say that where poss if they could just turn it on when necessary but switch it off when its not

Thanks again for all the replies, lots to think about.

If you're offering the upper end of salary range why not offer a bit less, then you can have a bit more money to play with.

Unfortunately I think your expectations are unrealistic.

A nanny is a professional and should be treated as one. She would be coming to her place of work which needs to be heated to temperature in line with regulations at least. Nannies eat with charges, food bought by employers but generally prepared by nanny, plus hot and cold beverages for that matter.
A budget for weekly expenditure is agreed and kept to. Petrol costs at 45p per mile/travel fares whilst at work paid for by employer.

20 degrees blimey I'd have to be in shorts & t-shirt. I keep ours at 18. Not really for frugal reasons but I hate that stuffy heat from central heating, my sinuses go weird. Anyway as you say its so individual you can't really dictate how she has it, the children should be comfortable too.
I think you should give her a budget for activities and let her work it out. children need variety, free parks would just bore me & them eventually. swimming & being happy in water is very important to me so however frugal I would shell out for that.
Let her eat with the children fgs!

Set weekly budgets for activities. When with just baby, a low budget is fine. Have a list of local toddler groups that are reasonabl. Trickier when having older children, costs do skyrocket on school holidays. Set a reasonable budget based on what you can afford. I would look at something like £5-£7 per day in school holidays. Nanny can then be resourceful and find places to go within budget, spending little one day, spending more another day.

Travel cost does become an issue, as in some areas to get to a free museum it may involve some distance. Softplay down the road may be expensive but local.

Lunch, as a nanny I expect to be provided with lunch. This time of year homemade sandwiches with picnic snacks is fine. Winter time I quite like soup but the children alas do not. I always aim to have the same as the children, as making an additional portion is easier and probably cheaper than doing something completely different.

Nannies do not get a lunch break, it tends to be full on all day long. They can't leave children home alone whilst they go on lunch break.

So lunch is a perk but it is one of the few perks that exists these days, not many nannies get things like gym membership, car for personal use.

I think it depends very much how you position it.

When you interview I would explain what you've said here - that it's very important to you to have an experienced nanny and that's why you're paying at the top end of the role, so you'd want them to make full use of the many free/low cost facilities that are available in the area.

DS used to go to an experienced CM when he was little and she used a lot of low/cost free things like toddler group, taking them to Dobbies to play in the play area, days out at the park etc. A trip to soft play or the zoo was reserved for the holidays or when a mindee was leaving, so it's perfectly possible to entertain DCs without spending lots of money, but might cost a little more in the holidays as playgroups etc tend not to be on then.

Lunch - well it sounds like going low cost for providing something is the way to go and re heating, as the nanny is your employee as thermonix says there are guidelines around minimum temperatures, I think 16 is the minimum legally required, but tbh I'd find that cold so it would be reasonable to set it at say 18 degrees but check with the nanny that it's acceptable to them and stick it up a notch if not.

Hi SootyTheCat.

As a nanny myself I just thought I would offer some advice. In my previous job I worked for a very wealthy family however I was not given a huge budget or in fact any budget, as long as I spent within reason I was refunded, 90% of the time I would do free things such as the library and play dates, occasionally I would take to a play centre that cost money. The mum chose which play groups I went to as she paid for them in advance by term. Also if I went on a play date or to a museum or the zoo I would always take packed lunch for children and they weren't allowed sweets chocolate etc so all of this is completley normal and no nanny should expect a huge budget for the children so this would not be an issue. Also with your position only being 3 days a week the nanny should be able to come up with plenty of ideas for free activities such as park trips and craft activities!

With regards to the lunch arrangements, as I think has already been mentioned it is a legal requirement for someone to have a lunch break however this isn't possible usually as a nanny so this is partly why a nanny should be able to eat from your kitchen. Also you may find a nanny eats a lot of crisps/chocolate/sweets etc and it would be better for the nanny to eat what you and your children eat or similar rather than eating junk food in front of them. I think £10ph is a high wage anyway so maybe drop it to £9.50 but say they can have lunch at your house. Is this something you've considered?

With regards to the heating most nannies should be considerate but that is something that you wouldn't have much control over really as you would want your nanny to be comfortable.

Just as an added note, I recently turned down a job as the family talked so much about cost saving I was concerned they wouldn't be able to pay me so I would definetley consider how to word it and how it will come across.

Hope this helps and good luck with your nanny search!

I have also gone for an interview where the family made it clear that I would be an exspense and one they couldn't afford :(

Lovely family but I turned down the job

Heating - nanny and kids can't be cold - but we also understand that heating costs and having it on low actually costs less then an hour here and there as has to heat up from cold - my dp is a gas engineer and always says this

Kitty - leave a set amount and nanny can spend it on m&t etc

Food - nannies usually eat at work as don't get a 'lunch break' as such - also good for children to all sit down together and eat same stuff - nothing expensive - but sandwich - pasta - jacket - soup etc

£10gross is low but obv depends on area - again not all jobs are £10 nett tho many nannies think they are

I worked for a family that weren't on mains gas, so heating was particularly expensive for them. I suggested they purchase an electric heater so that I could just keep the room we were using warm (which was a kitchen/family room), rather than heating the whole house. I would put the heater on for a quick blast every now and then and made sure to keep doors shut etc to keep the heat in.

Remember to add up the extra expenses that could occur - mileage if nanny uses her car to get to places with the children, statutory sick pay - now not reimbursed by the government, employers national insurance. Also if you have a nanny that gets pregnant there will be maternity pay - you can recover 104% of this cost, the extra 4% is to cover employers national insurance, but while the nanny is on maternity leave she will acrrue holiday pay which you will need to pay.

Where do you live? £10 per hour gross would be on the low side in London, are you sure that is a good salary locally?

PS I have offered both the nannies we have had to help themselves to anything they want in the house for lunch. They have both pretty much always brought their own (maybe what I have in the house isn't appealing!) with the exception of sometimes taking a tin of soup on a cold day. I wouldn't stress about it adding too much to your food bill.

Hello there I am afraid if you asked me to bring my own lunch then probably not for me.
I look after three children 2 6 and 9 .During term time the elder are at school of course so apart from the odd school supply thing for home work that's it we tend to go to a local park after school if not busy and play dates which is all free
Youngest goes to a few sure start centres we are London based with lots on our door step. The one in nearest to the house is free but they do ask for a donation if you can one pound or two for cooking no fuss is made either way the in the next borough is all free and runs more formal classes it also runs sessions up to six in the evening and children up to eleven are welcome there is also an arts based free youth club type thing next door for nine plus. We go to various parks all over the place. A couple of churches run free playgroup type sessions. We also do a lot of play dates cooking model making painting reading again several libaries within a short walk local one runs several story sessions one which is not too far away foes music sessions all for free.
School holidays we do a lot if swapping children over with over nannies and parents den making has been a huge hit this year each child has spent time learning how to cook their lunches reading different parks our local council runs lots of summer holiday actives many are free playday this year the fair was free they tired fencing boxing various types of bikes and other sports jumping in puddles .The most expensive thing we did was going to watch a film which was six pounds for four of us cheap tickets in the morning.
Shopping centres often run free things for children we are near Westfield going out for a shooter ride going black berry picking on Tuesday .
Lucky in that my lot have a huge fun just making up games they also love word games the usual arts and crafts even get the odd toy out .
My point is children can usually be happy not having huge amounts spent on them.i fo not buy them junk from a shop. Sometimes might have the odd ice cream but they know not to keep asking we just go to the supermarket buy a muti pack that is on offer the older two do the maths it's always cheaper to get the pack rather just one. We make frozen you get buttons and our own ice lollies.
As for food I see it as a game what's in the fridge or cupboard to use part of my job is to teach table manners to eat heathly to eat what they are given my eldest charge at three was a really fussy eater will now eat most things I get them all help cause if they do it then they will eat it often they will snuggle on the sofa and look through recepie books

I wouldn't take the job if I was a nanny!
I would want the heating on.

With 3 DC nanny is good if you can stretch to it! And without making her feel unwelcome or like Bob Cratchett!

It's fine to make clear that lunches (assuming she'll give DC their tea then have hers at home later?) are simple things like sandwiches, jackets etc, and that she would be welcome to bring her own food if she prefers (we have had quite a few temp nannies and some people prefer this, eg they are on a low carb diet or whatever!) No need to buy naiver stuff or more snacks than you usually would.

A cold house would be horrible for many people tbh, but most would also understand the costs of having it sky high!

Totally fine to set a budget for spending, although v unrealistic to think playground/park will be enough for most of the year! We are outdoorsy, but even with the right gear DC do not enjoy the cold/wet for long. If there are no free or cheap options for indoor stuff you need to factor those costs in when you're working out whether you can afford the nanny.

My childminder was v keen on activities: she always checked first and changed plans on occasions when some of her mindees' parents felt it was too pricey.

Oh and the heating if it's cold and the jumper thing is not working and the slipper boots then I would put it on.its not a cold house and the three years I have been there never once put it on .It's timed to come on in the morning and then just after they get in from school. So if you work in a office shop hotel hospital etc would the heating be on there I know not possible if you work outside.

I think it's too tight. It's just about ok on school days as only 3 days a week so she can just do parks/ friends/ walks etc. but in the holidays it's 3 whole days where it would be tedious always just doing the same thing. They don't need to be going to adventure places and expensive zoos, but you need enough she can pay for petrol or bus or train fees to take them to places further away/ educational museums/ strawberry picking. Plus things like inviting kids friends over are a good cheap activity in holidays but they need to be able to offer guest children food and drink also. In winter like Christmas holidays the park only with no indoor options can be miserable 12hrs a day when it's pouring.

I think £10 gross is already low so can't go lower. You need to be able to offer unlimited lunch/ snacks and drinks as she has no free hr to buy in lunch break and likely starting and finishing late. You need to offer say £5 kitty per day in term time ( odd coffee out/ entry for toddler and baby), but £10 a day in holidays. She can save it up if not needed and use if you like for a big day out at end of school holidays or similar