Childcare disaster!!

[snoopy196897]

Desperate for advice please. Myself and wife have 4 lovely kids 5-9. She returned to work last year and loves her job. It meant her occasionally working until 19:30 getting home 20:00, I work fixed hours until 21:30. Until now she had a friend of hers to look after the kids until she got home at 8pm 2 sometimes 3times a week, she's on a rota so times n days can vary. Got home yesterday to find friend is no longer available from end of next week. Now need to find a childminder to look after 4 kids on random days of week form pickup from school finish until 8pm. Seems no one can take all 4 and I'm damned if I'll split my kiddies up and up to presence haven't found one that will work into random evenings. Do we have any options??? Other than her leaving a job she's happy in? I'm main wage earner otherwise I'd be stay at home daddy ilke a shot

Maybe try advertising on Gumtree?

It sounds like a job that would suit a student.

Id go for a Nanny. Hours 2-8.30pm Mon-Fri (could do kids laundry, make their dinner and help with homework). On the evenings your wife isnt at work she could do stuff with some of the kids so one night take the elder ones swimming, another night go do something with the 5yo etc.

advertise asap on childcare.co.uk for a nanny. google emergency nannies to find an interim solution. most of all GOOD LUCK!!

I think the problem here is how your wifes rota varies so much, that makes it hard to find childcare.
Could her employer consider being more parent friendly and having work days fixed? Then you could get a nanny to work the days you need, otherwise you will need to have a nanny 5 days a week even if only really needed 3 days.

A nine year old being responsible for getting three other kids, one aged five, to school? Really?

Two ten year old twins by next year, Find.

I'm also amazed you found a friend to do this. Did friend also supervise homework and feed kids?

no, makes no odds to me. I think too young but my opinion isn't relevant. Good luck, OP.

I think your best bet is to put exactly what you need into a advert and out it on gumtree for your area under the nannies/babysitting section. I suspect you'll either need to have a set number of hours or days to make it worth someone's while, or have a couple of different people doing it.
It might also be worth a card in a local newsagents window as it may appeal to someone who is retired.

I don't think sitters would work as they wouldn't do a school pick up and the children need to be handed over by a adult - unless the current person doing it would be able to drop the children at your home and then hand over to the sitter.

Sitters is great, and I've used them a couple of times recently for emergencies, but they are very clear on what you can ask their babysitters to do and what you can't.

It says clearly that they don't pick up or drop off at schools and nurseries as 'they are not a chaperone service'. It also says that unless the individual babysitter wants to, you cannot expect them to take the children out of the house for anythjng eg clubs, or even to the park. In reality the babysitters ive had have been happy to do trips to the park, but I wouldn't ask them to take them to clubs or parties or pre arranged events as it feels too much for them to do.

Having said that they are great and have saved my bacon on two occasions recently, but, I've had to come home / work from home to get DS from school and welcome the babysitter and show them round the house etc.

So use them definitely but be aware of their limitations so you use them in the right way.

Advertise on gumtree, childcare.co.uk, netmums. Apologies if you have done this. I would expect this to appeal to students or even a mothers help type role. Anyhow, you never know your luck. You might be inundated with applications.

I'm surprised the friend lasted so long with four kids, possibly with her own to care for as well;) Yet we shouldn't be too harsh - maybe the OP and his wife were paying her otherwise I doubt she would have lasted two weeks.

I'm also amazed you found a friend to do it. Even if being paid tbh.
What about asking local nurseries to advertise the position to their staff - who will typically be quite low paid and may welcome the opportunity to pick up a few better-paid hours after their main shift 3 days a week.

Hi,

We have the same problem. I work for the NHS (19 years now) and since last year I am expected to work up to 8pm so many nights a month AND they moved my job from my home town to 25 miles away! Very un-family friendly now. Hubby works FT shifts in a town 16 miles in the other direction. Luckily, he works a mix of early shifts and late shifts so I have to try my hardest to swap my lates to when he is on an early so he can either collect from school or the childminder before 6pm. I work 3 days a week but do a FTE of late shifts (that is another story) so it is hard going. We also do an early shift so that causes me huge problems too (if hubby on an early; I have to allow an hour for my commute and the childminder/school breakfast club aren't open until 8am).
Like you, we have no family support. We have a childminder but she finishes at 6pm. It is a nightmare. I feel sorry for you working until 9.30pm every night.
I think I would advertise for a childcare/PGCE student. I am sure someone would snap it up. I used to babysit for parents like this when I was younger. I was reliable though unlike some. You may be best speaking to childcare.co.uk or someone similar.
Does your wife work full time? Cam she put in a flexible working request for fixed lates on certain days? Someone I work with works until 8pm every Thursday. It means she does the same as everyone else but it is fixed and she has less hassle with childcare.

I think the first step is to ask for fixed lates, as above.

Advertise, everywhere - see who you get.

Maybe a retired person might like the work?

Very surprised that a friend was willing to do this, at all!

Snoopy: your wife's hours have been erratic since her return to work when before that, she was the one who was there full time while you work and continue to work until 9:30pm. Don't make this her problem, it is a family problem but she is there three days a week. Is there any way you can change your hours two days a week? You have said no, but do look into it.

You also said that you and your wife agreed that one of you would be there for the children, she has been (possibly for up to 9 years..) and is still, three days a week.

In answer to your question, are there any nurseries nearby? Perhaps some nursery workers might be interested in a few extra hours a week. The hours may suit.

Good luck solving what can only be a nightmare!

I don't want to waste money

but if you're asking someone to make themselves available for random evenings, with a guarantee of being available, you are asking them to give up other work and they will be financially out of pocket. I don't wish to be unpleasant, but how did you expect to be able to manage childcare for 4 kids with both of you working pretty full on hours? You are going to need to pay top whack as there are lots of childcare jobs out there with more regular hours and/or less kids that will be more attractive.

Realistically either

• you sort out your hours and do it
• she changes job/changes hours
• you pay someone to be available whether or not needed which would either need to be a higher than usual hourly rate to reflect the irregularity, or some sort of retainer (e.g. they keep themselves free and you pay half their rate when they don't work and full rate when they do)
• the kids share rooms and you get an au pair.